Today is the day for the wearing o' no green


(Don't quote me facts. I'm not having it.)

Oh, you heathen persecutors! Oh, you who have taken it upon yourselves to punish the innocent of any crime, for a slight so slight as to be absurd.

You who came to America in search of freedom and food only to then inflict your cruel traditions upon a once-kind populace.

Your paincentric practices have spread through this nation like a cancer to the point where this day, once a holy day, has become one of fear and terror for all those not of your faith.

Why should we be paralyzed by fear? Why should we cow to your unholy and abominable pinching? Why should men and women of faith be forbidden from eschewing certain colors--or risk corporal punishment?

Oh, the horror.

In solidarity with the persecuted, today I wear neither green nor orange.

On this, and every other St. Patrick's Day.


  1. .

    Blogger is driving me crazy. First is posts phantom posts. Then is crashes and claims not to post, only to post the post after my posting a replacement post.


  2. Blogger did that to me all day yesterday. I ended up deleting 5 re-posts that were actually phantom posts that said hadn't posted. I echo your "sheesh."

    And on the note of St. Patty's day, hear, hear! Except I am wearing green, but only because I always wear green. I refuse to not wear a piece of my jewelry just because the rest of the world is suddenly sporting green today. I think they all just want to be like me.

  3. So, are you saying that you don't like St. Paddy's Day simply because of the pinching? Because pinching is purely an American tradition. In fact, in Ireland, traditional Irish don't wear green, because the wee faerie folk like the colour and if you wear it, it's likely that they will steal you and leave a changeling in your place.

    So, basically, don't dress Big O in green today. The faerie folk are about.

  4. Yeah... I'm totally wearing green today. In fact, not only green, but a t-shirt that says "Miles and miles of Irish smiles." And I love it.

    But I would never, ever pinch anyone else. I hate touching people, so pinching is basically totally out of the question.

  5. I'm wearing green, but I secretly want to get pinched.

    I need help.

  6. .

    Rachel: Sheesh (again)!

    Absent: You take your dirty facts and get out of here. You were warned.

    Anonymous: You look so familiar, and yet....

    Tolkers: I'm afraid this may be the wrong place for you.

  7. At first when I read "don't quote me facts," I thought you were talking Pirate. And I wondered what in the heck that has to do with St. Patrick's Day.

    It's all green all the time here at daltonhouse. No pinching, though. Pinching is for mean people. We like kissing instead.

  8. I hereby electronically pinch you, albeit late. This post didn't show up in my RSS feed yesterday. Or today, for that matter.

  9. Well, uh, thanks. Enjoy your withholding and associated satisfaction.