Search Engine Report


It's been well over a year since I talked about the searches that bring people here--well over a year even since I was keeping really close track. But now the list is, in places, very very old; and it is very very long, so I've no intention of dissecting it--I just want it out of drafts, and the last day of 2007 seems an excellent time to do that.

So... if you're bored tonight.....


are tonsils porous

"michael chabon"

intuition over facts in the devil and tom walker

vonnegut jailbird quote kissing



"emotional exhibitionism"


unclear Antecedent

bones in artwork

the famous banana sketch

rubber soul byu idaho

6qu Lewisham

"elder David R. Stone"

read the last conference 176th lds

"David R. Stone"

text i can read from the 176th lds conference

bednar david a 176th general conference




"David R. Stone"

edgy killer bunny

new glasses

mormon mom cast

adonis dvd thirsty running

"The worth of a soul is its capacity to become as God."


"celebrity crush"

hearst castle+canova statue

fuller reasons that you bear a similar last name with my client

ronald a rasband

William Wordsmiths "The world is too much with us"

mr and mrs smith



Jack Black

21 Campshill Road

radio blues


smashed kitten

ronald rasband

ronald rasband

indian food

"traveling metaphors" writers

"all do-us"

blacks did not support phat girlz movie

redheadded jewish

"napoleon dynamite"

raven symone measurements [first page on google for this search! take that, stupid!]

21 Campshill Road scam

Utah Valley Magazine

[[[from someone's email]]]

which school did carole lombard attend

liverpudlians in california

nasal irrigation

"Malcolm In The Middle" animated gifs


debeers wwII

21 Campshill Road Se13 6qu Lewisham London England.

daltongirl blogspot [[[[Did you mean: dolphingirl blogspot ]]]]

"sam hawk" bsa contact

Juju club torrent

chats on CSET essay questions for subtest II

utah famous for food

wealth and good luck

CSET difficult


21 Campshill Road, SE13 6qu lewisham, london england (I'm #1 on Yahoo!)

21 Campshill Road, SE13 6qu lewisham, london england

apocalypse now song satisfaction free clip

"gospel-sharing home" (I'm #8 and #9 on Yahoo!)

bednar david a. stake conference prophet

21 Campshill Road

"21 Campshill Road" "london"

redheadded jewish girl

child died from drinking poison


pictures of romeo drinking poison


juliet drinking poison

Holy Ghost Fire joke

romeo mercutio killed

Why was tybalt killed (#1 on Answers!)

thmazing north

cars pixar

"Route 66"


thmazing saved world

lds and "grow up unto the Lord


tybalt killed...


tybalt killed...

A Person that is eating poop animation (I'm #2 on Google!--june 12, 2006)

when does lady montague die

why didnt benvolio fight tybalt

Ratatoille pixar

nyaa nyaa cute animation

raven symone (take that, stupid!)

president packer

23 campshill road se13 6qu

mercutio killed

"crocodylus niloticus" + "pluvianus aegyptius"


ratatoille animated





tonsils white curds smelly

Gromit confronts


hard white tonsil polyps

comments about the poem of poor richard's almanack

dirty diaper


taurus 2003 "getting out of park"



tonsil curd

176th LDS Conference on Inner Beauty

screensavers of Haley Joel Osment of the movie Home of th Giants

jack steed

melyngoch taylor

toad spit allergy




philip roth


chinhae korea


"21 Campshill Road Se13 6qu Lewisham London England."

21 Campshill Road, Se13 6qu Lewisham, London, England


21 Campshill Road, Se13 6qu Lewisham, London, England

21 Campshill Road se13 6qu lewisham london england

pus tonsil white spot pop



doctor says wife needs enema


(hit from google images looking for this)(x18)

group sex

(hit from google images looking for this)(x4)

Listerine spring for everyone

sunshine lollipops and rainbows gummy drops


21 Campshill Road Se13 6QU Lewisham London England

"manhattan temple" "noise"

free enema squirt

the clash band

"he whom the lord calls"

where can i listen to happily ever after the entire song

"44 7040 129 681"

some one google-imaging found this: http://www.explodingdog.com/dumbpict51/smaller/whatexplode1.gif

tonsil curd

enema bag

who is killed by Tybalt

cset english subtest III

"Raven Symone" pregnant (nod to Stupid here)

Father Son Campout Aaronic

pockets on tonsils to burst

"Ronald Rasband" utah

"like many italic sentences"

O'so krispie hairstyles

Google image to www.kinomania.ru/stars/m/Michael_J_Fox/1024/1.jpg

KVPR a prairie home companion


theric shallow (french version of google)

naked women

a beautiful mind movie review

pixar Ratatoille (found using google slovenščina)


"jon magaziner"

google image:www.annexgalleries.com/itemimages/big/Sch102.jpg

"all sousa all the time"

tonsils food caught in

shakespeare "do they not bleed"



"Men Who Don't Get Married"

"half moon bay ward"

mechanized wheelchairs


former Sub-Comptroller working with Chevron Texaco Oil United Kingdom

"don't like mcsweeney's

groveling gifts

My late client a former Sub-Comptroller working with Chevron Texaco Oil here in the United Kingdom and had left behind a deposit of Nine Million Eight Hundred Thous

21 campshill london england

Sub-Comptroller working with Chevron Texaco Oil November 2000

ronald a rasband

"difference between if and when (Japanese version of Google)

anthony perkins lds

(Google image) www.annexgalleries.com/itemimages/big/Sch102.jpg

elder bednar

holy crimenently

elder bednar

collection of food in pocket by tonsils

21 Campshill Road

"naked women for cell phones" (the only result for Google!)

Elder Bednar offense

porous tonsils

Raven Symone's apartment roommates (beat that, Stupid!)

"eric w jepson" (this one is certainly mysterious---who IS this guy?!?!)

google image search: www.fernworks.org/images/small/l_5B.jpg

"my new glasses" "picture" "about me" site:blogspot.com

hymns conference 176

"ira fine" raisin

killed by tybalt

killed by tybalt

killed by tybalt

IMAGE: http://welshmeatdirect.com/images/chicken%20drumstick.jpg

killed by tybalt

killed by tybalt

"green libertarian" blogger

"has such a magnetic persona" (Indonesian google)

food caught in tonsils

www.metalandmagic.com piggy

Elder Wirthlin "sunday will come"

Marxism God's Favored Coffee

"brigham young" conference general martin willie handcard


google image search: www.annexgalleries.com/itemimages/big/Sch102.jpg

Food caught in tonsils

why is lord capulet seen as a bully essay

21 Campshill Road London, England

when does juletomten give gifts

porous tonsils (I'm #1!)

Washington Irving Devil and Tom Walker realism or romanticism

"Sesame Street Canon"

ronald rasband all hands on deck our rising generation

the spook house bierce

sap OR blackjack OR cosh "Knocked her out"

three hundre two billion, four million, one hundred six

O'so Krispie hairstyle

Robert Long sub-comptroller with Chevron Texaco Oil


zebrano tree

willie and martin mormon handcard company

devious elf


elder david a. bednar

masterpiece hitchcock collection costco

google image: http://welshmeatdirect.com/images/chicken%20drumstick.jpg

santas using zebras now [Santa is dead to me. It took a long time, and now that it's over, It Is Over. ... Zebra wood? Since when do trees run away from lions? Butternut indeed! ...] (I'm #10!)

google image: www.fernworks.org/images/small/l_5B.jpg

live chat customer service me i

mercutio killed by Tybalt [I'm #1] [in Canada]

somebody's got a case of the sposita's

o so'krispie hairstyle

superman returns sound editing oscar

cset matrices

hygiene enema bottle funny picture

"joe ranft death" [[[[[RIP]]]]]

scarlet johannsen anti-wrinkle (Dutch Google)

google image: http://ec1.images-amazon.com/images/P/B00005N8T1.01._AA240_SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg (in what looks like Afrikaans Google)

thmazings thmusings [you lookin for me]

tonsil pores

jesus v santa claus (Portuguese Google)

stephen crane ironist war is kind (page one!)

"i'm a banana" dr. seuss

benji st. george utah thai

thteed (Chinese Yahoo)

penguins frozen yogurt cerritos


couvade syndrome


couvade syndrome

personal attorney/sole executor to the late Engineer Robert

funkadelic wallpaper

http://fobcave.blogspot.com/search?q=svithe (how...?)

"up up and away" wav

"Metropolitan Areas Most Polluted by Short-term Particle Pollution"

image search for http://welshmeatdirect.com/images/chicken%20drumstick.jpg (again)

king kong

the former sub-comptroller working with chevron texaco oil in the united kingdom

ther-ic (polish google)

MySpace Oscar game

http://thecia.com.au/reviews/n/images/napoleon-dynamite-8.jpg (french google image [1] and english google image [3])

asparagus by behr

filmplus.org/03/kane.jpg (google image)

metal albums blogspot


behr outback paint

bitterfilms.com/rejectedbanana-300.jpg (google image[2])


"enema in my mouth"

"her new glasses " "picture " site:blogspot.com

porous tonsils (of course)

elder larry w gibbons of the seventy

disney's ratatoille

ronald rasband

oh the worlds a funny place ut yet iy's hard to beat (I'm #1)

A classic horror short story The Seventeenth hole at Duncaster

classic rock deep cuts

www.peggylee.com/pics/peg51a.jpg (google image search for female crooners)

Who sings ooh child in pursuit of happiness?

"what manner of man ought ye to be"

steve bacon bakersfield (that one's awesome)

http://welshmeatdirect.com/images/chicken%2520drumstick (again; google image)

underconcerned parents a problem?

http://www.sanfranciscomemories.com/musee/musee-smaller/hawiilady.JPG (google image search)

beck information album free blogspot

mash up bowie (french google blog search)

elphaba pronunciation

white pus pockets on tonsils

"shaolin soccer" I won't tell

www.pjsinnam.com/bio/images/PI/Manila%20Map.jpg (arabic google image search)

http://www.sanfranciscomemories.com/musee/musee-smaller/hawiilady.JPG (google image)

grrarrarr (I'm #1!)

cardon's formula

Juletomten story

"Creative Writing at BYU"

meaning of the song waiting on th world to change by john mayer

porous tonsils

opinion essays on wicka (Mr Fob is #1!)

http://www.sanfranciscomemories.com/musee/musee-smaller/hawiilady.JPG (again, google image--one english google, one some germanicish google)

google image: http://img95.imageshack.us/img95/2522/vlcsnap380508jy9.png - http://img95.imageshack.us/img95/2522/vlcsnap380508jy9.png - http://img95.imageshack.us/img95/2522/vlcsnap380508jy9.png - http://img95.imageshack.us/img95/2522/vlcsnap380508jy9.png - http://img95.imageshack.us/img95/2522/vlcsnap380508jy9.png - http://img95.imageshack.us/img95/2522/vlcsnap380508jy9.png - http://welshmeatdirect.com/images/chicken%20drumstick.jpg - http://img95.imageshack.us/img95/2522/vlcsnap380508jy9.png - http://img95.imageshack.us/img95/2522/vlcsnap380508jy9.png - http://img95.imageshack.us/img95/2522/vlcsnap380508jy9.png - http://welshmeatdirect.com/images/chicken%20drumstick.jpg - http://img95.imageshack.us/img95/2522/vlcsnap380508jy9.png

keith merrill

LDOTFMOTNY (you've come to the right place)

civil war "after the war had ended because"

babylon "summer cottage" maxwell

pursuit of excellence & mormon

Google Image: http://img95.imageshack.us/img95/2522/vlcsnap380508jy9.png (x22 - 1 in Deutch)

keith merrill


september dawn

pixar ratatouille

alice keys

book of mormon, it beginneth to taste delicious to me

Robert Hales, made story (from a Korean-language search engine I've never heard of before which is awesome)

site:thmazing.blogspot.com regina


tonsils porous

(and a whole bunch more google image searches--guernica, sick dogs, guts, fir trees, more more more)

lindsay estes cafepress

Andy Burr solicitor

Andy Burr solicitor


marxism coffee "god's favored"

site:thmazing.blogspot.com lorem

baby anecdotes (Google NZ)

lady dies at age 60 on 28 june 2007 at l&d (I'm #2!) (Google UK)

people lose testimony lds (terrific) (Google Canada)

Sub-Comptroller working with Chevron Texaco Oil

Sub-Comptroller of Chevron Texaco Oil in the United Kingdom

editorgirl (hi!)

double indemnity

moonpools and caterpillars

"pedro dumba" (from danish google)

fobcave katya


Felipithecus (german google)

"tonsil irrigation"

"tick tock clock" "the clock is ticking for you"

ecasanova vegas

bill richards tehachapi (yahoo!)

"Ronald Rasband"

sposita's parking

The board of directors of the company now adopted a resolution and I was mandated to provide his next of kin for the payment of this money within the next 15 official working days or forfeit the money as an abandoned (google new zealand)


smashed kitten (I'm #1! Yes!)

Barbara Boxer (Google Blog)

Cicada Pleats


Equiano homecountry (Google Korea)

rulesforareason2.blogspot.com (Technorati)

potter snape christian (Google Blog)

(Google Image: homepage2.nifty.com/~deko/jujuclub/3rd.jpg)

(Google Image: http://i78.photobucket.com/albums/j90/thmazing/books/FlightVol3.jpg)

Cicada Pleats (yes, again!)

lds general conference uncle fred story (I'm #5)

monson priesthood red hair (I'm #2)

thomas monson "flaming red hair" "can do anything" (I'm the only one!)

president monson dye hair (I'm #2)

president monson's talk, vision, faith, virtue (I'm #1)

lds conference talk flaming red hair (I'm #4)

"door of history turns on small hinges" (I'm #2)

elder cook apostle lds utahn blog (I'm #7)

thomas monson flaming red hair (I'm #1)

monson, red hair, missionary (I'm #2)

PENROSE school thy feelings (I'm #18)

uncircumcised boy (I'm #4 of google blog search)

"scott smith" "the ruins"

foundation and empire asimov (french blogger search)

bacardi rum cake lds general conference (I'm #2)

april 1969 does arthur live? (I'm #*)

procrastination donald l hallstrom (I'm #3)

donald hallstrom priesthood session talk (I'm #6)

circumcised (google blog search)

monson flaming red hair (I'm #2)

eating rat song (I'm #9)

Donald L. Hallstrom Talk (I'm #2)

cut foreskin (ask.com)

Thomas Monson Flaming Red Hair (I'm #1)

circumsized uncircumsized five spots

chip kidd (google blog search)

when does lady montague die? (I'm #9)

meaning of sposita (I'm #s 1, 2, 3, 4 and Lady Steed is #s 5 and 6)

elder bednar (blogs ice rocket .com)

introducing preach my gospel FHE (I'm #1)

turtle soap dish (I'm #5)

"flaming red hair" monson (I'm #2)

lds general conference uncle fred story (I'm #6)

thomas monson "flaming red hair" "can do anything" (I'm the only one)

link: asiamex.com

difference between wicked the book and musical

steve + editorgirl

orson scott card "three types"

divvied up california vote*

monkeys high

circumcised (google blog)

"I hate dave eggers"

what is the electoral college in the summit /campaign (ask.com)

Heartbreaking work of staggering quotes "sleeping with someone"

how to dimensionally sculpt a pumpkin

turtle soap dish

famous benefactor

leatherby's caramel sauce

wicked musical why-is-glinda (I'm #4?)

"why 1830" mormon (#2!)

Long long time ago + wallpaper

supercuts sterilize combs (#1, baby!)

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx (#3 on a Korean search engine called NAVER)

"i hate dave eggers" (#2)

thank you for all th e love (#2)

"After Happily ever after" lds songs (#1 and #2)

a splatting sound (#7)

fecetious (#5)

"pedro dumba" (#7--and don't listen to the man)

Russell Ballard October 07 conference talk

FOB junior (#3---and Mr Fob doesn't even make the top 100)

there will be blood daniel day-lewis PERFORMANCE

Elder David R. Stone of the Seventy

good decision by gorgias Walter Hamilton (#5)

serial book 2007 (google blogsearch)

How workable is the shower soap? (#1(?))

peanuts schroder a child is born unto us (#4)

lemony snicket (blogsearch.google.com)

"rick veitch"

uncircumcised penis (aol; #8)

"scott mccloud" (blogsearch)

eyring joseph smith prayed woods forgiveness

lds "redeem the dead" committee

Sub-Comptroller working with Chevron Texaco Oil here in the United Kingdom (still #3)

"Plato and a Platypus" (google blog)

orson scott card disfellowshipped

"chip kidd" (blogsearch)

bathroom soap container (#14--why do I get so many of these? and why do I rank so high?)

brian kershisnik (#6)

brian kershisnik woman walking dog

"which would be his finest hour" churchill

Dallin Oaks picture of catalogue good, better, best (#1)

golfer "arthur lees"

meat is murder wallpaper (spanish google)

Whirligig by Paul Fleischman quotes people are not all hitler (#1)

old navy commercial december 2007

vegetarians adolph hitler (the #1 hit also mentions he had but one testicle)

old navy commercial december 2007

dave eggers AHWOSG

Brian Kershisnik

thanatopsis compared to Because I could not stop for death (search engine: zoomtown)

illogic in the book of mormon

the term persuader used in in six shooter

moonpools And Caterpillar cd album cover pictures (Filipino Google)

"hermetically sealed" sedaris (#1!)

"broken arms" blogspot "first day of school" (I'm #1; TB's #3)

Robert J. Sawyer neanderthal parallax torrent (#1)

Widower Robert Fulghum (#1)

"harlan ellison" (via icerocket)

turtle soap dish (via aol)

andrew burr esq

elder oaks criticism wormwood

Penis profiles (#3 on aol)

Andrew Burr(Esq.)

andrew burr esq. (don't buy what this guy's selling, kids)

porous tonsils

marie asmond hair cut (#1 on Yahoo!)

"Quid rides? Mutato nomine de te fabula narratur."

masterba (#6 on dell---and what a way to end a post....)


Elder Ballard Sez
(a svithe)

Elder Ballard.

En-her-gy Girl spoke in church today (and did a fine job, btw) (which makes three bloggers to give excellent talks this month). Anyway, she mentioned something my brother blogged about and that I had intended to svithe today, but nearly forgot: the apostolic call to blog.

Yep, the word's come down from Elder Ballard: we Mormon bloggers need to get the LDS viewpoint out on the Vital Issues of the Day.

I'm not much-a-one for a) New Year's Resolutions or b) blogging on the Vital Issues of the Day, but I think we can expect lots of silly talk about Mormons out there in the void come 2008. So my svithe/NYR today is this: I resolve to get into the fray in a wholesome, bright-eyed way, thus obeying a prophet of God and, perhaps, getting interviewed on a highly rated radio program where the host is a jerk and hates everyone. I furthermore resolve not to loose my temper or to stew about that &*^%$$# for ten to twenty days afterward.

I also resolve to stop seeking out monkeys simply to make dog collars from their tails before the ASPCA finds out.


last week's svithe


Thvlog VII: Sleigh Ride


Do to technical difficulties, viz, we left the camera at grandma's house, this video is much delayed. Due to other technical and weatherical difficulties, the image quality is bad even for YouTube.

C'est l'hǒliday season.


The Eighteenth Five Books of Two Thousand Seven

christmas carol charles dickens book mormon wuthering heights memos purgatory harlan ellison faith scientist henry eyring


090) A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens, finished December 23
    When the Big O overheard me telling his mother that there was no way we would finish this by Christmas at our current pace, he sat me down and we read over one hundred pages right then. Voila. Done by Christmas.

    Then we drove over to see a big local nativity originally built by a Sikh man for his neighbors and this year sponsored by the Soroptimists. As we drove we listened to Jonathon Winters perform A Christmas Carol on NPR. I like Mr Winters, but, much like these silly five-day events like Duel and Clash of the Choirs, it just didn't fly.

    So! What I want is this: I want Peter Jackson to make a five-hour, five-day Christmas Carol with Ian McKellan as Scrooge. Tell me that would be awesome. One day for each stave. It would be the best thing ever.

    Anyway. The book. It's good. Still good. I think I smell a holiday tradition.

    The copy I bought for this year's reading was copiously (and well) illustrated and the Big O enjoyed it. Maybe not as much as Peter Pan, but he can run you down the Christmas-Carol story and tell you all about Scrooge's change of heart and he'll tell you he liked the book.

    It was much more successful than when we read him Oliver Twist (a gift from Nemesis--thanks, Nem!). But then . . . he was only about ten days old when we started that one . . . .

    two weeks

089) The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ edited by Mormon and Moroni, finished December 21
    Believe in Christ; and if ye believe not in these words believe in Christ.

    And if ye shall believe in Christ ye will believe in these words, for they are the words of Christ, and he hath given them unto me; and they teach all men that they should do good.

    And if they are not the words of Christ, judge ye—for Christ will show unto you, with power and great glory, that they are his words, at the last day; and you and I shall stand face to face before his bar; and ye shall know that I have been commanded of him to write these things, notwithstanding my weakness.

    And I pray the Father in the name of Christ that many of us, if not all, may be saved in his kingdom at that great and last day.

    ten months and two weeks

088) Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë, finished December 13
    Started reading this like a brushfire, then I had to stop to read some other things for class. Which is a shame.

    Wuthering Heights is a great example of how much our understanding and use of p-o-v has improved since the birth of the novel--almost all its faults are directly connected to trying to filter the tale through the faceless Mr. Lockwood. But the art of the novel was new then and Emily was creative and clever in her attempts to overcome the p-o-v issues she ran into.

    Here are some topnotch words on the novel from Emily's sister Charlotte:

      Whether it is right or advisable to create things like Heathcliff, I do not know: I scarcely think it is. But this I know; the writer who possesses the creative gift owns something of which he is not always master--something that at times strangely wills and works for itself. He may lay down rules and devise principles, and to rules and principles it will perhaps for years lie in subjection; and then, haply without any warning of revolt, there comes a time when it will no longer consent to 'harrow the vallies, or be bound with a band in the furrow'--when it 'laughs at the multitude of the city, and regards not the crying of the driver'--when, refusing absolutely to make ropes out of sea-sand any longer, it sets to work on statue-hewing, and you have a Pluto or a Jove, a Tisiphone or a Psyche, a Mermaid or a Madonna, as Fate and Inspiration direct. By the work grim or glorious, dread or divine, you have little choice left but quiescent adoption. As for you--the nominal artist--your share in it has been to work passively under dictates you neither delivered nor could question--that would not be uttered at your prayer, not suppressed nor changed at your caprice. If the result be attractive, the World will praise you, who little deserve praise; if it be repulsive, the same World will blame you, who almost as little deserve blame.

      Wuthering Heights was hewn in a wild workshop, with simple tools, out of homely materials. The statuary found a granite block on a solitary moor: gazing thereon, he saw how from the crag might be elicited the head, savage, swart, sinister; a form moulded with at least one element of grandeur--power. He wrought with a rude chisel, and from no model but the vision of his meditations. With time and labour, the crag took human shape; and there it stands colossal, dark, and frowning, half statue, half rock: in the former sense, terrible and goblin-like; in the latter, almost beautiful, clothes it; and heath, with its blooming bells and balmy fragrance, grows faithfully close to the giant's foot.

    two and a half months

087) The Faith of a Scientist by Dr. Henry Eyring, finished December 7
    First: note that this is a smaller version of the original book. The essays are unabridged, but there are fewer of them.

    Second: note that Dr. Eyring probably attended church in my building, back when he was getting his PhD in Berkeley.

    Third: note that I am glad this was a smaller version of the original book because it got to be a bit repetitive. It was good, I grant you, but, well, I get it.

    Fourth: note that I read its little tiny pieces during my lunches.

    Fifth: note that I checked this book out of the library belonging to the building noted above; note also that that library has lots of books I hope to eventually read (but no comics, alas).

    Sixth: note that I recommend reading a couple of these essays but doubt you need to read them all in their entirety--just don't miss the moonmen.

    Seventh: note that this book is ridiculously expensive and someone should reprint it. You Eyrings getting this message?

    Eighth: note that this is the penultimate note.

    Ninth: no more notes.

    less than a month

086) Memos from Purgatory by Harlan Ellison, finished December 1
    If you have ever heard me rail against Harlan Ellison then you will be rightly surprised to see this book here--I mean, I've been working on The Other Glass Teat for for four years now and am unlikely to ever even open it again, and here I am picking up--and finishing!--another Ellison book? Explanation?

    Well, it's in my class library, and I just happened to grab it to thumb through it and noticed on the back cover that it was about street gangs and, as I'm always being asked for more raw books, I thought I would see if there was any impressive violence in it. Next thing I knew I had read the last half of the book. Then the first half.

    We own a goodly number of Ellison books and Lady Steed's always asking don't I hate that guy (yes) can we get rid of these books (no). Why? Half because if I ever do grad school I want to have the option of writing the anti-Ellison paper; half because many writers I respect are gaga over him and I can't figure out why.

    A big part of what I hate about Ellison is how didactic his fiction is; he can't pick up a pen without preaching at me, and that drives me nuts.

    Memos is autobiographical (and I believe him, as opposed to, say, Og Mandino). Sort of like Hunter Thompson with the Hell's Angels, Ellison joined a street gang; unlike Thompson however, he actually joined a street gang--he took on a street name and took part in heisting guns and nearly killed a kid in a knife fight. In other words, he did something I would never even half-imagine to do. And no, I don't think that was good or admirable, but I feel like I understand him so much better now than I used to. I don't think I will start liking his fiction all of a sudden, but I did like this book--and it was definitely raw--about the rawest thing I have ever read. Or hope to imagine.

    Stay in school, kids.

    ps: a few days after writing the above, I realized that this book is just as lousy as all Ellison's stuff, for all its merits. Like, notable, how in the end he pulls a moral-to-the-story out of nowhere (he loves morals-to-the-story); he then plops it into a preface as well. this kind of sloppy nonsense (and abject moralizing) is what drives me crazy about him.)

    three days

....previously in 2007....

085) Fragile Things by Neil Gaiman, finished November 30
084) The Bat-Poet by Randall Jarrell, finished November 29
083) Peter Pan by J. M. Barrie, finished November 29
082) The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman, finished November 21
081) One Big Self: An Investigation by C.D. Wright, finished November 19
080) Tintin in the Land of the Soviets by Hergé, finished November 16
079) Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Spencer W. Kimball by Spencer W. Kimball, finished November 14
078) Abraxas And The Earthman by Rick Veitch, finished November 12
077) Gorgias by Plato, finished November 10
076) Bighead by Jeffrey Brown, finished November 7
075) Jack the Ripper: A Journal of the Whitechapel Murders 1888-1889 by Rick Geary, finished November 3
074) Summer of Love by Debbie Drechsler, finished November 3
073) The Borden Tragedy by Rick Geary, finished October 31
072) To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee, finished October 29
071) Monster by Walter Dean Myers, finished October 26
070) Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, finished October 15
069) Whirligig by Paul Fleischman, finished October 15
068) Alfred Hitchcock and the Three Investigators in The Mystery of the Silver Spider by Robert Arthur, finished October 12
067) Characters and Viewpoint by Orson Scott Card, finished October 12
066) Hybrids by Robert J. Sawyer, finished October 6
065) How to Write Science Fiction & Fantasy by Orson Scott Card, finished October 1
064) Downy Duck Grows Up by Adda Mai Sharp and Epsie Young, finished September 30
063) Humans by Robert J. Sawyer, finished September 28
062) Hominids by Robert J. Sawyer, finished September 23
061) Making Comics by Scott McCloud, finished August 20
060) Tales of the Black Widowers by Isaac Asimov, finished September 14
059) The Pearl by John Steinbeck, finished September 11 and again on September 12
058) The Dog Is Not a Toy: House Rule #4 by Darby Conley, finished September 3
057) Brother Brigham by D. Michael Martindale, finished August 29
056) The Foundation Trilogy: Foundation, Foundation and Empire, Second Foundation by Isaac Asimov, finished August 27
055) Ode To Kirihito by Osamu Tezuka, finished August 20
054) Polygamy Was Better Than Monotony by Paul Bailey, finished August 10
053) Plato and a Platypus Walk into a Bar: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes by Thomas Cathcart and Daniel Klein, finished August 7
052) Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J. K. Rowling, finished July 24
051) Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by J. K. Rowling, finished July 21
050) The Ruins by Scott Smith, finished July 13
049) Favorite Stories by Margret Rey, illustrated by H.A. Rey, finished July 12
048) Criss Cross by Lynne Rae Perkins, finished July 2
047) Flight Volume Three edited by Kazu Kibuishi, finished June 27
046) Nobody Is Perfick by Bernard Waber, finished June 14
045) First Paragraphs: Inspired Openings for Writers and Readers by Donald Newlove, finished June 12
044) The Universe in a Nutshell by Stephen Hawking, finished June 11
043) Dune by Frank Herbert, finished June 9
042) The Gifts of the Jews: How a Tribe of Desert Nomads Changed the Way Everyone Thinks and Feels by Thomas Cahill, finished June 8
041) The Roald Dahl Omnibus by Roald Dahl, finished June 6
040) Troll: A Love Story by Johanna Sinisalo, finished May 31
039) The End by Lemony Snicket, finished May 23
038) The Complete Peanuts 1961-1962 by Charles M. Schultz, finished May 22
037) The Penultimate Peril by Lemony Snicket, finished May 21
036) The Grim Grotto by Lemony Snicket, finished May 18
035) The Eyre Affair by Jasper Fforde, finished May 15
034) Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman, finished May 14
033) Chip Kidd: Book One: Work: 1986-2006 by Chip Kidd, finished May 9
032) Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë, finished May 7
031) The Complete Peanuts 1959-1960 by Charles M. Schulz, finished April 25
030) Devils & Demons edited by Marvin Kaye, finished April 23
029) Talk Talk Talk: Decoding the Mysteries of Speech by Jay Ingram, finished April 23
028) Einstein's Dreams by Alan Lightman, finished April 20
027) The Long Chalkboard: and Other Stories by Jennifer Allen and illustrated by Jules Feiffer, finished April 19
026) Babbitt by Sinclair Lewis, finished April 19
025) Frank by Jim Woodring, finished April 12
024) The Complete Concrete by Paul Chadwick, finished April 3
023) The Rumpelstiltskin Problem by Vivian Vande Velde, finished March 30
022) Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson, finished March 28
021) Batman: The Dark Knight Returns by Frank Miller et al, finished March 23
020) A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers, finished March 16
019) Batman: Gothic by Grant Morrison et al, finished March 13
018) Wild at Heart by John Eldredge, finished March 7
017) Stink: The Incredible Shrinking Kid by Megan McDonald, finished March 7
016) 50 Professional Scenes for Student Actors: A Collection of Short 2 Person Scenes by Garry Michael Kluger, finished March 6
015) Twenty Love Poems and a Song of Despair by Pablo Neruda, finished March 5
014) Frindle by Andrew Clements, finished March 1
013) Brain Wave by Poul Anderson, finished February 27
012) The Best American Comics 2006 edited by Harvey Pekar and Anne Elizabeth Moore, finished February 26
011) Everything Is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer, finished February 15
010) The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ edited by Mormon and Moroni, finished February 7
009) Lisey's Story by Stephen King, finished February 1
008) The Maltese Falcon by Dashiell Hammett, finished January 26
007) Empire by Orson Scott Card, finished January 24
006) Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli, finished January 22
005) Vile Bodies by Evelyn Waugh, finished January 17
004) Superman Adventures Vol. 1: Up, Up and Away! by Mark Millar, finished January 16
003) A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson, finished January 12
002) Understanding Comics by Scott McCloud, finished January 11
001) Galápagos by Kurt Vonnegut, finished January 10

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The First Five (001 - 005)
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The Third Five (011 - 015)
The Fourth Five (016 - 020)
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The Sixth Five (026 - 030)
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The Eighth Five (036 - 040)
The Ninth Five (041 - 045)
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The Sixteenth Five (076 - 080)
The Seventeenth Five (081 - 085)