2005-09-07

The breast of madness

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The English Department had a meeting during lunch. Everyone sat around and complained about how the administration is screwing us over.

Then the department chair said, "Whoa now, hold on everybody. I just realized I haven't introduced our thmazing new teacher, Theric here."

And then she told them about how I don't have a classroom; teach freshmen, sophomores and juniors; and a few other choice elements of my current condition.

The moral of the story? We teachers may complain, but at least we don't have it near as bad as that guy.

Which was weirdly comforting. In a martyriffic sort of way.

Anyway, breasts.

I don't know what the deal is with breasts--

Let me take that back. Sure I do. But I don't know what's going on with the way breasts are clothed here at Bedrock High. Too many wires and straps and plunges and not enough cloth, I can tell you that much. I have seen more 14yrold breast the past two days than I ever even suspected existed. And teachers' breasts! And administrators' breats! Everywhere a chap turns, breasts on display! What is going on! Why wear a shirt if it protects you from neither gapes nor elements? Why wear a shirt at all?

!

Anyway, I find it amazing. Is there some clothing shortage? Are they all politically active? What's the deal?

As a final note, I had two kids storm out of class today because I insisted on their silence. So as a whole, I would say everything is going very well.

4 comments:

  1. *Trying to figure out how this all ties in to "I have't even touched boobies"*

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  2. Oh yeah, bringing back wonderful high school memories (or mammaries?). At my school the dress code was mainly focused on gangster attire, so you could wear a string bikini to school as long as it wasn't made of red badana material or covered with Old English writing.

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  3. I'm just wondering what you were thinking when you insisted that students be quiet. What kind of teacher ARE you?

    And in the breasted students' defense, maybe they don't realize that they have breasts. Or that people can see them. I know my daughter says she can't see anything when she looks down, so therefore they are not visible to others. Not so, I tell her. I can see all the way down to your belly button. Go put on something else.

    So maybe their moms or husbands or whatever forget to tell them that, and they just don't know. It's a possibility.

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  4. .

    That's a good theory--I mean, maybe the teachers and parents also do not realize that they have breasts. If so, then how could they explain that phenomenon to the new generation?

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