David O. McKay: See if you can find the hilarious part

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David O. McKay and the Rise of Modern Mormonism (Hardcover)
by Gregory A. Prince (Author), Wm Robert Wright (Author)

Hardcover: 550 pages
Publisher: University of Utah Press; 1 edition (March 9, 2005)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0874808227
ISBN-13: 978-0874808223
Product Dimensions: 10.3 x 6.9 x 1.5 inches
Shipping Weight: 3 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)

Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars See all reviews (19 customer reviews)

Amazon.com Sales Rank: #63,070 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Popular in these categories:
#1 in Books > History > Middle East > Oman
#33 in Books > Religion & Spirituality Christianity > Mormonism

Good review

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“Happy St. Patrick’s Day” caught me off guard from the very beginning. I didn’t know how to react to the old couple. At times, they were charming, menacing, intriguing and horrible. Their complexity really sold me on the story.

------------------------------------David Drazul

I had never as yet made the attempt to svithe vocally

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I'm reading a fascinating article right now that I may well svithe again, if it weighs as heavily on my mind next week as it has been this weekend. But it's so late now, I'm just stealing one quote, which originated here.

We are so verbal, especially in the Protestant tradition, that it's hard for us not to imagine prayer either as monologue, in which I tell God things and God listens, or as a conversation in which I tell God things and God answers back. But from what I understand out of the ancient monastic materials I work on, prayer is really an entire relationship, and the verbal part is only one element. A lot of what we learn when we pray is to be quiet. We need to stop thinking that a relationship is constituted only by language. The closer we get to other people, and the better our friendships are, the more silence these relationships contain. The people we talk to all the time are probably the people we don't know.terribly well and whom we don't trust. The issue is not so much "Does God talk back and if so how?" but whether we can learn just to be in God's presence.

She has a pretty good point. Prayer is more than address-thank-pray-close, or can be. How do we arrive at prayers that move beyond the limitations of our human vocabularies?

Discuss.

last week's svithe

Omnifobbery

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The B of F O B is everywhere this weekend with two of his Fob Bible stories released on popular blogs for discussion. If you haven't read these stories before, do now. If you have, stop by to help get the conversation going. They're both great. I should know. I'm their freaking editor.

Abraham's Purgatory

The Changing of the God

On BYU's new MFA

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The [Card] School Internship Office provides academic credit for [writing] internships that meet the following requirements:

The internship must be a good [writing-]related work experience;

The intern must be given [writing] projects that require higher level [creative] skills;

Interns must have an [editor] supervisor to train, mentor, and evaluate them;

Interns must [write] at least 45 hours for every credit hour they are taking, i.e., 90 work hours for two credit hours, 135 work hours for three credit hours.

(read the rest here)

More Fob Goodness

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The second half of Tyler Chadwick's Fob Bible review is up on AMV.

This one has way more sex.

I'm just sayin'.

Why post the unpostable?

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Because I am Theric.

And I can.

Eleven reasons to buy stock in Elephant™ Brand Phone Nails

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1. They're the industry leader.

2. Their phone nails are made only from genuine Naugahyde.

3. With the increase of people using their phones for photography, phone nails are expected to increase in sales 29% in the coming quarter alone.

4. Would you have bought stock from these guys?

5. Be honest now: How many times today have you already wished you had a phone nail handy?

6. Phone nails are green.

7. Elephant™ is the only brand of phone nail being exported into China.

8. Elephant™ is opening five new manufacturing facilities in the US in 2009, at a time when other industries are shedding jobs like psoriasis.

9. Unlike most phone nail brands, Elephant™ brand phone nails have been certified Golden Delicious by Apple's Accoutrement Corps.

10. Available in dozens of colors while most brands are still only available in Ford black.

11. I get 10% for every person who signs up using my special code: thuckerswanted.

Thanks in advance!

Svithing fathers, starting with myawesomeself

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It's Fathers Day in America and this is America and I am a father so let's talk about me, shall we?

This week has been good for my ego. It seems like everyone want to compliment me? To excerpt from these compliments, here are some phrases suitable for placement under my name on a business card:

stellar
jack of the narrative trade
one of the most interesting
sharing [my] wisdom
enjoyable, unpretentious and hard working
That's meat and potatoes stuff. God bless it.
ahead . . . but not too far ahead
courteous
doing a thmazing job
good, moving
thought provoking

If I seem a little full of myself lately, now you know why.

All these statements were speaking to my skill as a writer.

I believe that the raw capacity for working with words is part of my uncreated intelligence. But if I were to thus claim sole credit for my successes, removing God from my gratitude, would not be tenable. That would be like a poor kid in Potosí who's capable of becoming the world's finest surgeon failin to thank the philanthropist who saw him into a city with a decent high school and from there to Harvard. The kid would have been lucky to get a job choking on led dust, but instead he gets a consultant credit on House.

Me, I could not be who I am without the opportunity great God has given me to come to this earth and partake of human life and mortal opportunity. I'm only as good as the ultimate Father has provided me the chance to become. So what can I do in return? As King Benjamin said:

I say unto you that if ye should serve him who has created you from the beginning, and is preserving you from day to day, by lending you breath, that ye may live and move and do according to your own will, and even supporting you from one moment to another --- I say, if ye should serve him with all your whole souls yet ye would be unprofitable servants.

So paying God back is out of the question. All I can do is follow his simple requests. And be the best I can be.

Isn't that what every father wants for his children?

Thank you, Dad.

last week's svithe

Join the debate early (late)

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Huh. Just noticed this didn't post on the 18th like it was supposed to....

Selling the Bug-Eyed Blue-Eyed Jesus on A Motley Vision by yours truly.

Cranberry Juice: chilled or room temperature

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It's astonishing that Lady Steed and I have been able to build a solid relationship when our opinions differ on some of the most vital issues of our age.

First review of The Fob Bible, and it's a doozy

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You may know Tyler Chadwick already for his excellent poetry or criticism, but you must read his review of The Fob Bible --- one of the most beautiful works of the critical art I've ever read.

(Of course, it doesn't hurt that he likes my stuff.)

My brilliant son

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The Big O, five and a half, invented the word unpregnant on Sunday. He used it correctly and just brought it out of his own little head. I must say I'm quite impressed. Who's been teaching him prefixes?

On This First Monday of Summer Vacation

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Tasks for this summer:

Reading:

finish my library books
enjoy other things

Editing:

MoJo's Stay at a minimum of ten pages per weekday
make progress on new anthology
make progress on CE projects

Writing (short):

Finish Ric Estrada articles
Write up Sunstone articles
Write up my Mormon Artist article
Get some more Couple-Creators done

Writing (long):

Curses and Llew
(secret project)

Also I'ld like to teach the kid how to ride his bike and maybe do something fun and/or relaxing. Plus have a baby.

Seems like a pretty good list. I should stay busy.

Svithe: my sacrament meeting pinch hit

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The broad brush stroke of a topic is, "Growing My Testimony through Action". The usual notions of how we increase our testimony, i.e. prayer, meditation, and scripture reading are of course actions. What I'm angling at is something that revolves more around things like sharing the gospel with others, service in the community, temple attendance, speaking in Sacrament Meeting on short notice, putting into practice charity, that sort of thing.

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I didn't say yes at first. I tried to come up with something but nothing. Total stupor of thought. Until, as I mention in the talk, I was writing my weekly email to the elders quorum. Then it all came together and I wrote back and said yes.

Of course, it was made more complicated by http://www.motleyvision.org/2009/elder-callister-on-art/ in which I said that Mormon sacrament meeting talks should mean that we, as a people, take an interest in preserving the world's Great Oral Tradition. So, you know, no stress or anything.

I went through old svithe and found http://svithes.blogspot.com/2006/11/caught-in-svithe.html, http://svithes.blogspot.com/2007/05/who-wants-easy-svithe-main-difference.html and http://svithes.blogspot.com/2008/11/svithing-pure-religion.html, as well as http://theeccentricsage.blogspot.com/2008/03/post-100.html from my brother, all of which were used to throw this together.

Then, in rewrite, I used http://athenaminor.blogspot.com/2008/10/do-mormons-know-too-much.html from another brother to make sure I'd stayed on task.

This is not my final draft (although it is late enough in the process that I've removed the jackass), but it's roughly what I'll be saying tomorrow.

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A new book will be hitting the shelves next month. If God Were Real by John Avant. The book looks to be a reaction to the books from the New Atheists that’ve been burning up the charts --- books like The God Delusion and God Is Not Great. Its cover is reminiscent of those books and the title isn’t exactly clear. If God Were Real? It took a bit of interneting to decide which side of the argument the author will come down on come his July 7 release date.

Anyway, Avant’s point is that most Christians don’t live as if they actually think God’s real. From some promotional stuff:

The author . . . agrees with atheists that many Christians are not living up to their claims and asserts that there is not much Christ left in Christianity. . . . Each chapter examines how a particular part of life might be different if God were real to us. The evidence shows that most Christians live as “practical atheists.”

Self-assessment query: Am I charitable like unto Christ? Do I turn the other cheek like unto Christ? Do I weep with my friends like unto Christ?

This struck me as I was writing an email to the elders quorum about today’s Joseph Smith lesson on redeeming the dead. And I asked myself: Do I live my life as if I really believe in redeeming the dead?

Looking at my day-to-day redemption activities for evidence, I have to wonder if I do in fact believe this doctrine. Shouldn’t my faith be borne out by my daily actions? By their fruits you shall know them etc etc and my fruits aren’t exactly nourishing to the dead. I’m not exactly on a first-name basis with Brother Whatsisname who checks recommends at the temple door.

This failure on my part raises a new question: Is that failure evidence of a weak testimony or is it simply a failure to act upon my testimony?

I like Peter. Simon Peter? The rock on which Jesus would build his church? You remember Peter. The schmuck who betrayed his god three times in one night? He was supposed to be this great spiritual leader and he started that career with complete and utter failure. Way to go, nimrod.

But Peter gets his act together, pun intended, in The Acts of the Apostles, which is the New Testament’s very next book. In Acts, Peter and the other apostles are no longer just sitting around enjoying faith. Now, instead of listening, they are speaking. Instead of following, they are leading. They are doing what their Savior taught them to do. Following his commandment to go forth into all the world bearing testimony of Him. In Acts, they are doing the gospel, acting the gospel. And Peter never denies god again. He’s done with “practical atheism.” He is a saint, an active saint.

Another active Saint of the time, James, spoke on this issue when he called pure religion visiting the fatherless and widows. I like to assume he wasn’t just writing epistles on it, but that he was actually visiting the fatherless and widows. Surely they didn’t call him James the Just for nothing.

Here, in America, 2009, it’s pretty easy to find the time, safety and gasoline to visit the fatherless and widows. Now consider for a moment Mormon’s situation. Here’s a guy who lived in a time of constant danger. Murdering and marauding were everyday activities. People were killed in gruesome ways—sometimes eaten—and widows were dying of starvation as they fled their homes. But when we read the doctrines that Mormon taught, what do we see? We see a Christian. We see a man who, even when everyone around him had fallen into irreparable evil, preached faith hope and charity. Who delighted in the innocence of children. He wastes no space chatting up his own good deeds, but a man who can focus on faith hope and charity when the world is crashing down around him in a cacophony of depravity, I think we can safely assume that he helped out where he could. He even agreed to lead his people when he knew full well they were on the brink of utter destruction. Even in a moment of—can I call it hopelessness?—he did what he could.

I was here at the church Friday night and on the stairs next to the bishop’s office was the muddy handprint of a small child. Splap! right there on the carpet. Couple of them, actually. I couldn’t find any proper carpet-cleaning spray in the bombshelter so I just rubbed it away with a wet paper towel --- in our Sunday morning sunlight the handprint may be visible again, but I tried to get rid of it.

Now I was here because it was our week to clean the church so of course I’m going to try to do something about an errant handprint. But I’m often here alone, at least once every other week, and I hope that I would try to do something about mud on the carpet, even if it wasn’t my week.

Faith is power we hear with some regularity, and that power is both developed and manifested through actions. But faith is intensely personal and no matter how much I say Hey! Pray!, that won’t develop your faith. It’s the same with actions. They are intensely personal and it’s a slothful and not wise servant who needs to be told to act. So we can wipe up handprints without being told. We can grab a crumpled bulletin from off the floor. Every week I see people picking up chairs in the cultural hall without anyone telling them to do it.

There are people in our ward much better than me about redeeming the dead and visiting the widows and fatherless. And it’s not because someone’s constantly pressuring them about Duty or Responsibility either.

As I read in a recent Church PR release:

Latter-day Saints take [James’s] interpretation of pure religion very seriously. Being a person of faith is something you do within the context of a world full of suffering, not just what you say or believe. . . . Learning Christ’s teachings and reading about the way He conducted Himself motivates individuals to look for ways to engage with others the way He did. And serving those in need functions as a refining process — humbling the server, bringing her or him closer to Christ and His example.

This is what Peter learned. As he served others his faith strengthened until nothing could sway him and he became the rock Jesus said he was.

Jesus, were he here today, would have kind things to say about each of us as well. And through action we can grow in faith, in power, and become the people he wishes us to be.

I know that as I spend more time in the temple, my faith in that work will grow, and I will spend more time in the temple, thus growing my faith even more.

And as I strive to live a life based on the teachings and example of Jesus Christ, my faith and testimony in him will likewise grow, changing me into a person who follows the teachings and example of Jesus Christ.

In his holy name, amen.

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Pretty short, yes. But I'm told there will be five other short talks and I don't want to be greedy with the time. So this is all for this week, folks. Move along.

last week's svithe

Now you have to admit that this is pretty cool

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Look in my side bar. Click on the offer to read a random thmusing.

Cool, right?

Oh. Wait. Where'd you go--?

code stolen from mormanity

Etiquette

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One of the first bits of verbal language the Large S picked up a few months ago was the Getting Stuff Exchange:

More [please optional]
Here you go
Thank you

Hereyougo was, in fact, one of his first words. The polite thing to say when handing someone something.

Lady Steed has more to say on S's language acquisition today.

Kevin Bacon help

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I'm throwing away old floppies and I found this list which will be sure to help you in your everyday life:

DEGREED ACTORS

Patricia Arquette
Rowan Atkinson
***Kevin Bacon***
Scott Bakula
Antonio Banderas
Drew Barrymore
Kim Basinger
Angela Basset
Bonnie Bedelia
James Belushi
Halle Berry
Juliette Binoche
David Bowie
*Matthew Broderick (She's Having a Baby)
Pierce Brosnan
Sandra Bullock
Steve Buscemi
Nicolas Cage
Jim Carrey
*Helena Bonham Carter (Novocaine)
Jackie Chan
*John Cleese (Big Picture)
George Clooney
James Coburn
Sean Connery
*Harry Connick Jr. (My Dog Skip)
*Kevin Costner (JFK)
Russell Crowe
*Tom Cruise (A Few Good Men)
Billy Crystal
Ice Cube
Tim Curry
*Jamie Lee Curtis (The Queen's Logic)
John Cusack
Matt Damon
Claire Danes
Warwick Davis
Benicio Del Toro
Julie Delpy
Gerard Depardieu
Johnny Depp
*Laura Dern (Novocaine)
Danny Devito
Cameron Diaz
Leonardo DiCaprio
*Matt Dillon (Wild Things)
Michael Douglas
Larry Drake
Richard Dreyfuss
David Duchovny
Michael Clarke Duncan
Kirsten Dunst
Robert Duvall
Robert Englund
Jeff Fahey
Peter Falk
Corey Feldman
*Calista Flockhart (Telling Lies in America)
*Bridget Fonda (Balto)
Michael J. Fox
Morgan Freeman
Peter Gallagher
Richard Gere
Mel Gibson
Danny Glover
Whoopi Goldberg
*Cuba Gooding Jr. (A Few Good Men)
Heather Graham
Seth Green
Pam Grier
Gene Hackman
*Tom Hanks (Apollo 13)
*Ed Harris (Apollo 13)
Ethan Hawke
Goldie Hawn
Anne Heche
Audrey Hepburn
*Dustin Hoffman (Sleepers)
Hulk Hogan
Anthony Hopkins
Dennis Hopper
Helen Hunt
William Hurt
Angelica Huston
Billy Idol
Samuel L. Jackson
Scarlett Johansson
Angelina Jolie
Dean Jones
Ashley Judd
Nicole Kidman
Val Kilmer
Greg Kinnear
Kevin Kline
Lisa Kudrow
Martin Landau
*Diane Lane (My Dog Skip)
Queen Latifah
Dennis Leary
Jack Lemmon
Jet Li
*John Lithgow (Footloose)
LL Cool J
Christopher Lloyd
Jenifer Lopez
*Courtney Love (Trapped)
Jon Lovitz
Ralph Macchio
Scott MacDonald
Fred MacMurray
*John Malkovich (The Queen's Logic)
*Joe Mantegna (Queen's Logic)
Ann-Margret
*Steve Martin (Novocaine)
*Mary Stuart Masterson (Digging to China)
Frances McDormand
Ewan McGreggor
Breckin Meyer
Hayley Mills
Gretchen Mol
*Demi Moore (A Few Good Men)
Pat Morita
*Frankie Muniz (My Dog Skip)
Eddie Murphy
*Bill Murray (Wild Things)
Mike Myers
Liam Neeson
*Jack Nicholson (A Few Good Men)
Leslie Nielson
Nick Nolte
Shaquille O'Neill
*Gary Oldman (Murder in the First)
Al Pacino
Gwyneth Paltrow
*Sarah Jessica Parker (Footloose)
*Joe Peschi (JFK)
Michelle Pfeiffer
Lou Diamond Phillips
*Brad Pitt (Sleepers)
*Oliver Platt (Flatliners)
Sarah Polley
Dennis Quaid
*Kathleen Quinlan (Apollo 13)
Keanu Reeves
Carl Reiner
*Brad Renfro (Telling Lies in America)
*Burt Reynolds (Starting Over)
Christina Ricci
*Julia Roberts (Flatliners)
*Mickey Rourke (Diner)
Kurt Russell
Rene Russo
Winona Ryder
Adam Sandler
Rob Schneider
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Tom Everett Scott
Charlie Sheen
*Martin Short (The Big Picture)
*Elizabeth Shue (Hollow Man)
Sinbad
*Gary Sinise (Apollo 13)
*Christian Slater (Murder in the First)
Amy Smart
Kevin Spacey
Jason Statham
Patrick Stewart
Ben Stiller
*Sharon Stone (He Said, She Said)
*Meryl Streep (River Wild)
Jeffrey Tambor
*Lili Taylor (She's Having a Baby)
*Charlize Theron (Trapped)
Jonathon Taylor Thomas
Billy Bob Thornton
John Travolta
Chris Tucker
John Turturro
Liv Tyler
Jim Varney
Max Von Sydow
Arnold Vosloo
Mark "Marky Mark" Wahlberg
Chistopher Walken
*Fred Ward (Tremors)
John Wayne
Sigourney Weaver
Gene Wilder
Olivia Williams
Bruce Willis
*Luke Wilson (My Dog Skip)
Owen Wilson
Henry Winkler
Reese Witherspoon
Elijah Wood
Jeffrey Wright
Catherine Zeta-Jones

I feel pains, imagining how long this took me. And it's not updated anymore. I wonder how many more of these people deserve asterisks now...?

See me on AMV today.

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“Our Refined Heavenly Home”

MS POLICY introduced (plus the next five books of 2009)

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NOTE: With this post I will be reviewing unpublished manuscripts or unfilmed screenplays. I've not finished a booklength MS in some time --- not since beginning my booklisting --- and I've been unsure how to handle them. After all, it's not fair to treat them the same way I treat a published work; by virtue of being an MS, they are unfinished and worthy of every reasonable doubt. It just so happens that the two that appear here are truly excellent (or at least show every sign of becoming excellent in the near future) and so I have no reason to Play Nice. However, my policy will be, when mentioning MSs, not to say anything at all except a couple nice comments that anyone with reasonable Google skills could guess anyway. Someone's kind enough to let me look at their MS, I will only say nice things. And very few of them. Sometimes I may not even mention a title or author, depending on what seems appropriate. This is my new MS POLICY.

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055) Blue Beetle: Boundaries by Sturges/Albuquerque/Coelho, finished June 6

The last of the Blue Beetle books. Alas. Poor Jaime. I knew him, Horatio.

two or three days

054) [title in flux] (MS) by B.G. Christensen, finished June 5

I've been reading this book now for almost ten years, a chapter at a time, and over the course of it I've watched its author develop from a highly competent writer to a really really (really) good writer. I fully expect Ben to sell his superhero novel and all the planned sequels and I think you should all preorder as soon as you can.

This is the book Mr Fob has been waiting to write all his life although he probably didn't know that before he started. Superheros, religion, homosexuality, teenagers, libraries, burger joints, murder --- all his touchpoints converging into an impressive work of art. Look forward to it.(MS POLICY)

about twenty months

053) Invincible Volume 1: Family Matters words by Robert Kirkman, pictures by Cory Walker, finished June 3

I bought this book because Kohl (see below) told me to check out the work of Mormon comics artist Ryan Ottley. I didn't realize that he didn't work on volume 1. Whoops.

Anyway, it was still a fun book. Straight superhero. Love the mom, taking it all so calmly and matter-of-factly. Good stuff.

two days

052) Der Ostwind (MS) by Kohl Glass, finished June 2

If you haven't seen the Award-Winning Short Film you should. If you have, you know the gist, the great WWI flying ace (German, but not the Red Baron) and his search for a worthy opponent among the allies. Glass's feature-length version of the film takes the character into much deeper territory and has great potential as a film. I imagine it looking like Sky Captain but, unlike Sky Captain, actually having a good story (and no giant robots). I will say no more. (MS POLICY)

two evenings

051) The Rumpelstiltskin Problem by Vivian Vande Velde, finished June 2

We had extra time and it fit in so we read this delightful book in my AP Lit class.

weekish

Previously:

050) The Bible Salesman by Clyde Edgerton, finished June 2
049) Superman / Madman Hullabaloo! by the Allreds, finished May 29
048) Beyond Fair Chase: The Ethic and Tradition of Hunting by Jim Posewitz, finished May 26
047) Brave and the Bold: Demons and Dragons by Mark Waid et al, finished May 20
046) Atonement by Ian McEwan, finished May 20
045) Love and the Light: An Idyl of the Westland by Orson Ferguson Whitney, finished May 20
044) Tales Of The Batman: Tim Sale by Tim Sale and some motley group of writers, finished May 17
043) Catwoman: The Dark End of the Street by Ed Brubaker et al, finished May 13
042) Aztek - the Ultimate Man by Grant Morrison), Mark Millar, Keith Champagne, Steven Harris; finished May 11
041) Cypher by Brad Teare, finished May 7
040) My Faith in Frankie by Mike Carey, Sonny Liew, Marc Hempel, finished May 5
039) Janes in Love by Cecil Castellucci and Jim Rugg, finished May 5
038) Batman: R.I.P. by Grant Morrison et al, finished May 4
037) 1000 Steps To World Domination by Rob Osborne, finished May 4
036) 110 Per¢ by Tony Consiglio, finished May 4
035) Mendoza in Hollywood by Kage Baker, finished May Day
034) All Star Superman, Vol. 2 by Grant Morrison, and Frank Quitely and Jamie Grant, finished April 22
033) All Star Superman, Vol. 1 by Grant Morrison, and Frank Quitely and Jamie Grant, finished April 20
032) Bound on Earth by Angela Hallstrom, finished April 19
031) Batman: The Resurrection of Ra's Al Ghul by Grant Morrison and colleagues, finished April 18
030) Madman Atomic Comics Volume 2 by Mike Allred with Laura Allred, finished April 14
029) For a Good Time by K. Voss, finished April 11
028) The Greatest Batman Stories Ever Told, finished April 11
027) Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury, finished April 6
026) Elegant Enigmas: The Art of Edward Gorey by Karen Wilkin (essay) and Edward Gorey (art), finished April 5
025) Owly: A Time to be Brave by Andy Runton, finished April 1
024) Blue Beetle: Endgame by John Rogers and Rafaele Albuquerque, finished March 29
023) Blue Beetle: Reach for the Stars by Rogers, Torres, Albuqerque; finished March 26
022) The Complete Peanuts 1967-1968 by Charles M. Schulz, finished March 25
021) Blue Beetle: Road Trip by various, finished March 25
020) Love That Dog by Sharon Creech, finished March 18
019) Weetzie Bat by Francesca Lia Block, finished March 17
018) The Proviso by Moriah Jovan, finished March 16
017) An Ensign to the Nations: History of the Oakland State by Evelyn Candland, finished March 7
016) Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus by Mary Shelley, finished February 27
015) Batman: The Black Glove by Grant Morrison and Tony Daniel and J.H. Williams III, finished February 23
014) The Hot Zone: A Terrifying True Story by Richard Preston, finished February 22
013) Lex Luthor: Man of Steel by Brian Azzarello and Lee Bermejo, finished February 19
012) Blue Beetle: Shellshocked by Keith Giffen and Cully Hammer, finished February 18
011) The Joker by Brian Azzarello and Lee Bermejo, finished February 17
010) Watchmen by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons, finished February 18
009) Superman: Red Son by MJR&M, finished February 11
008) The Best American Comics 2008 edited by Lynda Barry, finished February 9
007) The Blot by Tom Neely, finished February 6
006) JSA: Darkness Falls by Goyer, Johns, et al, finished January 28
005) The Road by Cormac McCarthy, finished January 24
004) Poor Sailor by Sammy Harkham, finished January 19
003) The Waitress was New by Dominique Fabre and translated by Jordan Stump, finished January 19
002) Stagger Lee by Derek McCulloch and Shepherd Hendrix, finished January 12?
001) The Arrival by Shaun Tan, finished January 8

the first five, 1-5
the second five, 6-10
the third five, 11-15
the fourth five, 16-20
the fifth five, 21-25
the sixth five, 26-30
the seventh five, 31-35
the eighth five, 36-40
the ninth five, 41-45

Paging Dr Freud, MFA

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Last night, in my dreams, I was in a small town. They were having their annual outdoors food event thing and, as usual, Stephen King had come to help cook. I thought I would take the opportunity to say hey I think you're pretty great but came off really awkward, saying something pathetic about On Writing and he, though polite, was pretty dismissive of me and I was just about to sulk stupidly off when I noticed he was wearing an Arkham Tales tshirt under his fleece. Hey! I said. Arkham Tales! I just published a story with them?

Oh? he said warily. Which story?

Happy St. Patrick's Day.

And then he got quite excited. He began instructing me in how to go about getting it turned into a movie. He left his post and we stepped inside a bookstore and he grabbed book after book on storyboarding. Finally he sent me on my way to --- I don't know --- Hollywood, I guess --- laden with books.

The thing was, I'm really not sure how closely he read the story. He didn't even get that it was about **********s.

Did you?

(Note: those of you warned off this story earlier should remain warned off it now.)

Svithe: Short and Sweet

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Love one another.

last week's svithe

BTSA

(if you are not or do not live with a california teacher, ignore this post)
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What are you trying to do? Make me a better teacher? Or a better bureaucrat?

Books of 2009 (46-50)

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050) The Bible Salesman by Clyde Edgerton, finished June 2

On the cover, David Sedaris has written "How good it feels to throw back one's head and howl with a great comic novel. The 'burial tuck' alone should make The Bible Salesman a classic." Yeah. Whatever, David. The burial-tuck scene was far from hilarious and it appeared in the first few pages, making me wonder if you even read this thing. But the beginning was intriguing, the story of a young man who's decided to make a living selling Bibles getting conned by a faux FBI agent into joining a car-theft ring. It had potential. But then the endless pointless flashbacks to his childhood and cutting away from a scene just as it's reaching its comic potential (the bra scene, for example; boy wearing bra so his cousin can practice taking it off when mother figure walks in then the author cuts away and never returns). The moments of sex and violence at the end brought some life back into the book, but not enough, and what looked like an interesting dialogue on biblical truth was never followed through on. In one sense this book made me feel good: at least it's not just Mormon comic novelists who can't get it right. I do have one question for you ladies out there (feel free to answer anonymously): I keep running into this in the weirdest most unexpected places and so I need to ask: Those of you with sufficiently large breasts and sufficiently flexible necks, do you spend a lot of time biting or licking yourself? Because I can't seem to get away from it of late and it's starting to seem . . . ubiquitous. twenty days

049) Superman / Madman Hullabaloo! by the Allreds, finished May 29

Short, sweet, delightfully fun. let's call it a week

048) Beyond Fair Chase: The Ethic and Tradition of Hunting by Jim Posewitz, finished May 26

This short and plain volume contains the basics of what it means to be an ethical hunter. And I hope hunters follow this philosophy. I'm trying to think of my hunting cousins and believe that they behave this way and . . . it's not the easiest thing I've ever attempted. Portions of this book got me the closest I've ever been to wanting to hunt. Which I think helps to explain my next statement: Hunter-hating conservationists should read this book. It's not long. You could read it in a quiet afternoon. depends on whether or not you count all the false starts but at least six months and maybe three times that long

047) Brave and the Bold: Demons and Dragons by Mark Waid et al, finished May 20

Still silly but the old stories at the back were better. I was especially enamored of the one Waid did not write but cites as a reference. It had some definite problems, but a good story. In case you didn't read me talking about previous books in the series, The Brave and the Bold features teamups between characters in one-shot stories. For instance, this one had a Superman/Catwoman story. That sort of thing. a few days

046) Atonement by Ian McEwan, finished May 20

Taking eight months to read a book, as I did this one, means that it is difficult to say for certain how excellent its parts are. Perhaps some lesser parts have been lost to memory. But I can say with certitude that this is an excellent book and I can recommend it heartily. Reading Atonement lets me know which aspects of On Chesil Beach where typical McEwan. Long poetic descriptions, for instance. (Not boring per se, but long and poetic and descriptive.) I will be reading more McEwan. I think a short story collection next..... eight months

Previously:

045) Love and the Light: An Idyl of the Westland by Orson Ferguson Whitney, finished May 20 044) Tales Of The Batman: Tim Sale by Tim Sale and some motley group of writers, finished May 17 043) Catwoman: The Dark End of the Street by Ed Brubaker et al, finished May 13 042) Aztek - the Ultimate Man by Grant Morrison), Mark Millar, Keith Champagne, Steven Harris; finished May 11 041) Cypher by Brad Teare, finished May 7 040) My Faith in Frankie by Mike Carey, Sonny Liew, Marc Hempel, finished May 5 039) Janes in Love by Cecil Castellucci and Jim Rugg, finished May 5 038) Batman: R.I.P. by Grant Morrison et al, finished May 4 037) 1000 Steps To World Domination by Rob Osborne, finished May 4 036) 110 Per¢ by Tony Consiglio, finished May 4 035) Mendoza in Hollywood by Kage Baker, finished May Day 034) All Star Superman, Vol. 2 by Grant Morrison, and Frank Quitely and Jamie Grant, finished April 22 033) All Star Superman, Vol. 1 by Grant Morrison, and Frank Quitely and Jamie Grant, finished April 20 032) Bound on Earth by Angela Hallstrom, finished April 19 031) Batman: The Resurrection of Ra's Al Ghul by Grant Morrison and colleagues, finished April 18 030) Madman Atomic Comics Volume 2 by Mike Allred with Laura Allred, finished April 14 029) For a Good Time by K. Voss, finished April 11 028) The Greatest Batman Stories Ever Told, finished April 11 027) Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury, finished April 6 026)Elegant Enigmas: The Art of Edward Gorey by Karen Wilkin (essay) and Edward Gorey (art), finished April 5 025) Owly: A Time to be Brave by Andy Runton, finished April 1 024) Blue Beetle: Endgame by John Rogers and Rafaele Albuquerque, finished March 29 023) Blue Beetle: Reach for the Stars by Rogers, Torres, Albuqerque; finished March 26 022) The Complete Peanuts 1967-1968 by Charles M. Schulz, finished March 25 021) Blue Beetle: Road Trip by various, finished March 25 020) Love That Dog by Sharon Creech, finished March 18 019) Weetzie Bat by Francesca Lia Block, finished March 17 018) The Proviso by Moriah Jovan, finished March 16 017) An Ensign to the Nations: History of the Oakland State by Evelyn Candland, finished March 7 016) Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus by Mary Shelley, finished February 27 015) Batman: The Black Glove by Grant Morrison and Tony Daniel and J.H. Williams III, finished February 23 014) The Hot Zone: A Terrifying True Story by Richard Preston, finished February 22 013) Lex Luthor: Man of Steel by Brian Azzarello and Lee Bermejo, finished February 19 012) Blue Beetle: Shellshocked by Keith Giffen and Cully Hammer, finished February 18 011) The Joker by Brian Azzarello and Lee Bermejo, finished February 17 010) Watchmen by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons, finished February 18 009) Superman: Red Son by MJR&M, finished February 11 008) The Best American Comics 2008 edited by Lynda Barry, finished February 9 007) The Blot by Tom Neely, finished February 6 006) JSA: Darkness Falls by Goyer, Johns, et al, finished January 28 005) The Road by Cormac McCarthy, finished January 24 004) Poor Sailor by Sammy Harkham, finished January 19 003) The Waitress was New by Dominique Fabre and translated by Jordan Stump, finished January 19 002) Stagger Lee by Derek McCulloch and Shepherd Hendrix, finished January 12? 001) The Arrival by Shaun Tan, finished January 8

the first five, 1-5
the second five, 6-10
the third five, 11-15
the fourth five, 16-20
the fifth five, 21-25
the sixth five, 26-30
the seventh five, 31-35
the eighth five, 36-40
the ninth five, 41-45

Sign me up!

.

So I just heard an ad on the radio for a patented product guaranteed to increase my brain activity in no more than seven minutes! Nifty!

The ad asked me if I would like to be able to read 1000 times faster than I can now, or, if I would like to be able to read ten books in the time most people read one!

Whatever else might be said about this product, I can sure tell their advertisers are using it!

Family History

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A couple months ago Large S began saying Popeye. Since then he's learned a second cartoon character: Batman.

Lots of testosterone in this house.

The Fob Bible (CENSORED)

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As long as I continue to be too lazy to make a book trailer, I want to share with you one or more recorded readings from the bible's release party. This one, Ben and I feel, was pretty much the entertainingest one.





(Note: this is the only one with bad words, and it's totally censored in the original too. Because censoring things is @#^%@#' hilarious. [cf])

The innocent and pure speak:

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from a student's R&J parody, picking up after Romeo electrocutes himself in solidarity with 'dead' juliet:

I will suck thy finger (Juliet sucks on Romeo's finger) Thy finger is smoky

Oh, what smirkishness!

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