My First Svithe


(Note: First-time visitors brought by the LDOTFMOTNY Annual Report are invited to start their Thumsing experience here.)


Shortly after I began teaching at Bedrock High, the teacher in whose room I teach sixth period, got into his browser's history and found my blog. He asked me about it the next day and thought it was strange that I would be so open about my life in such a potentially public forum. I have never particularly considered my blogging to be that revealing but I understood his concern. Then he asked me if a blog was like a prayer list or something.

A prayer list.

I was immediately disappointed in myself that I had never used Tehachapiltdownman as a religious forum. And told myself that when we brought the Internet into our home, I would blog each Sunday on something godly. This is the first such venture. And the first such venture begins in an unusually ungodly manner: With boasting.

Yesterday I learned how to juggle.

That's right, yesterday. Juggling. And in the last, oh 36 hours, I've gotten pretty decent at keeping three items in the air. I started with toy carafes, then decided to roll some socks and use those instead.

I suppose for some people, learning a new trick is no big deal, but I am the oldest and doggiest person you can ever hope to meet. I haven't learned a new trick since my few months of motorcycling back in the early Nineties. And before that it was learning to ride a bike at age six. I don't learn new tricks. It's not something I do. It's one of the ways I'm able to hold onto my title as World's Most Boring Person, Northern Hemisphere. (And someday I will best that Kiwi Matilda Methelsen and take the Whole World title.)

The religious significance of this new skill is simple: It is never too late to change. If I can learn to juggle, I can maybe learn to exercise, thus living past forty; I can maybe learn to move outside myself and better love my neighbors, thus adding to the beauty of the world; I can maybe learn to serve God with my whole heart, might, mind and strength, thus making a difference to Him, to me, and to the people I love--or should love.

Being a Christian is not a simple thing. The concept is simple, of course, but truly loving all the people in the world? Have you tried it?

If I can make my next new trick charity, I suppose I'll be doing okay. I guess I'll start by, gulp, trying to love you. Wish me luck.


  1. Ah, juggling. When I was in junior high, my best friend and I bought a couple of Klutz juggling books and practiced all afternoon with oranges in her family's two-storey front room. (Have you tried juggling oranges? They're a nice size, a good weight and very soft to catch. Of course, once you're done with them, they're pretty much only good for juicing.)

  2. .


    Who doesn't love orange juice?

  3. I always feel healthy after drinking orange juice.

    Also--you can do anything you want to. You just have to want to do it bad enough. (That's the hard part)