Blog Post #163, in which Theric apologizes


I am writing this without looking at my last post or at the Fobcave comments that inspired it. Not looking because it might color the contriteness I feel right now.

I don't think I made any personal attacks as I went on and on, but my manner of speaking when I get on topics I feel moral outrage against (eg, genital mutilation, pedophilia, diamond engagement rings), sometimes my rhetoric results in people feeling that I do not respect them or their ideas.

While I grant the latter may be true, I don't intend the former.

I don't know how many people I fatally offended by going off against diamond engagement rings while at BYU. I would rattle off stats about slavery and limbs lost in Sierra Leone, about market manipulation, about al Qaeda, about how DeBeers's actions almost threw WWII to the Nazis, about going into marriage in debt for a trinket, about how a virtuous woman's price may be above rubies but it doesn't seem to be above diamonds, about buying and selling love for hunks of stone....

Perhaps you can see how offensive I was to all the poor girls whose innocent hearts were set on getting a gaudy monstrosity and calling it love.


Okay, I need to work on this apology thing a little more.

Let's start with Edgy, whom I aimed at most directly. I'm sorry if any barbs hit you--I'll cover the therapy bills.

Bawb--I hope my quoting you did not seem intended to make you look stupid. I swear that wasn't my intent at all.

To all the people uncertain, I apologize if my heavyhandedness made it seem like I think you're idiots for even considering cutting up babies.


I'm looking over these apologies and realizing I'm not doing a very good job. Maybe this is an occasion where I just need to shut up for a while and hope everyone forgets that I ever spoke out on this subject.

But, while you're forgetting, don't forget me entirely. Please. That would be too great a punishment to bear.


  1. None taken, good sir--nor could any be from a fellow despiser of diamonds. Loved the virtuous woman bit.

  2. Well, as you know, I'm offended easily, but I'm already not talking to you because of that rude comment on Stupid's blog, so this new offense ultimately makes no difference.

    Did you know Kanye West feels the same as you about diamonds?

  3. Offense taken? Me? Pshah. Consider what I do for a living; I dish out far more than I ever have to take.

    But for the record, I'm right.

  4. .

    Since Edgy's wrongness is a matter of record, I shan't comment on it, but to Bawb and Kanye may I say go tell it on the mountain?

    I don't find it surprising that people feel strongly about circumcision, but what surprises me is the passionate response in favor of it. I can't understand why someone would want to be cut up like that. It perplexes me to no end.

    Yes, some people will do things just because that's the way things are done, but Edgy doesn't strike me as one of those. Can the aesthetics of what is hidden 99.999999999% of the time really be a heartfelt argument?

    I guess women are right when they complain that all men do is think about their [impolite term]s.

    (And Bawb--thank you. I wrapped an entire essay around that idea once but could never get it published. Maybe I should dust it off and bring it here.)

  5. Two thoughts:

    1. Harrison Ford looks absolutely, disturbingly, horribly, what-the-hell-was-he-thinkingly STUPID with an earring.

    2. I've never noticed what, if anything, Lady Steed wears on her hand as evidence of your commitment to her. I assume she doesn't have a diamond. I'm curious as to how you approached the subject when it was time to abandon the fence-building and engage yourself to her?

  6. I think diamonds are a nice choice for a symbol: strong, beautiful, etc. But I've never understood the need to spend $3000 on one. I could easily blow $300 on one, but that's about my limit. I like the small diamonds anyway - they don't scratch up your kids by accident.

  7. I like sparkly stuff. I think spending money on sparkly stuff is stupid. I found a ring I liked on the Tiffany's Web site for about $20,000, which is another insane thing altogether, and we bought a cubic zirconia that looked almost like it for something like $200. I think this was the cost of the gold. People compliment me on it all the time. So I'm happy, and no one had to lose a limb or go into debt or anything. I also loved the part about the virtuous woman.

    As for the other topic, I will weigh in as agreeing with you almost completely, Th. Except for the semi-related part where "women can have orgasms in hundreds of ways." So far, I've only found one. I don't think that I should have to work too hard at finding others unless I really want to. I realize that isn't what you were saying, but still. It is plenty different.

    That is all.

  8. .

    Actually, long before I had looked at Lady Steed as a potential mate, I had heard her say she was anti-diamond and said to myself, "Ah. Must remember her."

    We bought both our rings at the same time for about $50 total.

  9. Lunkwill and I are anti-diamonds too. I don't think some child in Africa should loose a limb so that I could have some "expression of love" which is more a social construct than anything else. I love that you hate diamonds. It gives me so much more respect for you. That's probably shallow of me, but it's true.

    As far as the genitalia mutilation goes, I think it is different for guys than gals (ie. guys can still have orgasms--lots of gals can't), but it's still mutilation! Anyway, I guess I just wanted to say that I agree with you and like the way you worded a lot of what you said. In case you were wondering...

  10. .

    Thank you, JB. It would seem we three have a great deal in common.

    When you see Lunkwill (as surely you will before me), tell him thanks for his support as well.