For those of you who missed my impassioned rant(s) over at the Fobcave, I'm going to continue in a similar manner here. If you find me an insufferable, self-righteous prig, I apologize. Go away until I am better. And if you find yourself discounting all my snipcentric opinions because I am obviously a lunatic, LEAVE NOW!!!!!

This post, you may be happy to hear, is not about cutting off chunks of your man-child, but about body mutilation all sorts.

Body mutilation. I'm against it.

I have a pretty liberal definition regarding What Body Mutilation Is, so maybe we should start there (WARNING: this is were the insufferable, self-righteous priggishness starts up).

Body mutilation: Any purposeful yet purposeless alteration of the body, esp. with sharp instruments.

Examples: tattoos, piercing (whether tongue, uvula, fingerflesh, ear, nose, nipple, whatever), burning, scarring, etc etc etc.

Yes, I am even against one modest earring.

Now I should admit that when we were engaged there were a certain pair of earrings that Lady Steed would wear that in certain circumstances could become the sexiest fool things on the planet. But just because I find something sexy doesn't mean I think it is good and right. Maybe if I had a makeout session with someone with a tongue stud I might find that sexy too. Doesn't erase all the many, many health and dental problems associated with them. (Or the fact that I just think it's wrong.) And if Lady Steed thought a Prince Albert to be hot stuff?

No. Way.

So I don't find sexiness a reasonable argument. And if not sexiness, then definitely not cuteness or attractiveness or punkness or politicalstatementness or foolishness or anything else.

Unless we're talking triple bypass, why would someone purposefully ply their body with sharp stuff? It's weird.

Here's another, realer reason I feel this way:

Each of us has been given a body with its own beauty and charm and grace and abilities. It might need repairing, sure, but it does not need ornamenting.

Call me a minimalist, but I think the human body is lovely on its own.

Body mutilation is a form of hubris against the Great Artist.

Is that self-righteous enough?


  1. Wow! I finally have somebody else I can point to as backing up my own personal reasoning about my ears, and why they aren't pierced. Truth be told, I pierced them when I was 16, because I thought it was The Thing To Do, based on my mother and older sisters. But then they got all infected and crap, and swollen, and it hurt to try to put a new pair of earrings in even after I thought they were all healed, so I decided that it was all very Stupid, and let them grow over.

    I have to say though, that while I may not be in favor of piercings and other bodily mutilations (why stick holes someplace God didn't mean for there to be any?), I am still in favor of other bodily ornamentation, in the form of cute clothes, and non-hole-needing jewelry. So, I guess that while I don't mutilate my body, I'm still perfectly willing to be vain about my appearance. Hmm.

  2. Would now be a bad time to mention that I've been thinking about getting my foreskin pierced?

    Oh. Wait. Never mind. I forgot my parents already mutilated that part of my body for me.

  3. And it is more aesthetically pleasing that way, by the way.

  4. I agree with you on most points. I think that with the earrings, you have a point, except that I still have and love earrings. So I guess I'd be hypocritical if I said I agreed with you on everything.

    By the way, I think your rants on FOB's blog were more powerful than this. This is too broad for me to really respond to in any productive way...

  5. .


    Kirsa--I'm vain too, I suppose. In high school I wore earrings in my socks, for instance. But I'm with you--I have enough holes in my body as it is. Anyhole with out a purpose is a bad hole in my opinion.

    Cicada--That's okay--you're still my greatest ally in the fight against cutting off parts of people's bodies.

  6. My parents had my ears pierced when I was 3, so I didn't get to choose. I do have to say that I like my earring holes, but will never make any other holes without a very good reason (ie, my life depends on it). It hurts too much--which I know because I had additional holes pierced as a teenager, a set by a professional and then a set by myself. Ouch!

    As for piercing and/or cutting babies. Oh my goodness, I am so naive about the actual process of the snippage. I can tell you that no manchild of mine will be suffering through something like that. Ugh.

  7. Although I'm absolutley opposed to people mutilating each other, especially small children (i.e., circumcision), I have no problem with people cutting holes in their own bodies. In fact, I rather like it. I only have five piercings myself (two per ear plus the nose), but I'd really like an eyebrow ring. And I used to think earrings on guys were hot until it all got sort of preppy-pretending-to-be-punk.

    Call me a minimalist, but I think the human body is lovely on its own.

    Body mutilation is a form of hubris against the Great Artist.

    Call me slippery-slope fallacious, but why stop with "body mutilation"? Hair dye too, right? Hair perms? Curling irons?
    Gel? Make-up? Acne cream? Whitening toothpaste? Conditioner? All the accoutrements associated with leg-shaving, not to mention face-shaving?

    I think the Great Artist likes to see what people like me are going to do with that lovely, squalling, naked human body he gave us to begin with.

  8. .

    You may be right, Melyns. I certainly don't argue the possibility.

    I never use hair dye and, in fact, I thought of bringing that up in the original post but thought that might be taking things too far--farther than anyone would be willing to follow me.

    In fact, when it comes to myself, I am about opposed to all the things you mention:

    Hair dye: don't do it

    Hair perms: don't do it

    Curling irons: don't use 'em

    Gel: don't use it

    Make-up: don't use it, encourage women to not use on a regular basis

    Acne cream: don't use it, but I think it may not fit in with the rest of these because acne is an aberration already--I think it fits into correction rather than ornamentation

    Whitening toothpaste: have used it when it's cheapest, but do not intend to actually do any whitening-type-thing that might actually whiten (even though I shamefully admit I dislike having naturally yellow teeth)

    Conditioner: use it with some frequency

    leg-shaving: don't approve of it, never have

    face-shaving: I only shave because if I dont, a) I itch and b) I get fewer kisses

  9. I like piercings. For example, I think Melyngoch's nose ring is hot. And I'll probably get another ear-piercing before I call it "done." But on the other hand (like how I keep beginning my sentences with conjunctions?) I do appreciate your viewpoint about natural beauty. There's certainly something to be said for being comfortable with the way the Good Lord made you.

    Also, Prince Alberts are gross and can... nevermind...

    And, I've heard the snipping "down there" on guys makes it more attractive. But I'm still 110% against it.

  10. .

    I'm basically not in favor of doing anything that is needless and involves either a) cutting/puncturing one's skin or b) an inalterable change to appearance.

    Essentially, I'm in favor of being happy with who you are, as you are.

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