2009-05-17

The rumormongering svithe

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So I know, I know: my stated purpose in svithing is to spread Truth and Beauty, but the news that President Obama has tapped Utah's Governor Huntsman (Mormon) to be the new ambassador to China is just too good to not tell whoppers about --- especially since, as far as I know, no one else has started any baseless speculation yet.

And I don't mean that Obama thinks without Huntman Utah will elect a democratic governor because ha!ha!ha! that's crazy. No one would believe that.
    So did you hear that after talking with Obama, he got a call from President Monson?

    No!

    Yes! And he's getting all sorts of secret instructions in the tunnels under the temple!

    No!

    Yes! And he's being trained in Preach My Gospel!

    No!

    Yes! Because he has diplomatic immunity so he can say things like Like Most People We Believe in a Supreme Being as many times as he wants!

    No!

    Yes! In fact, Obama's cool with it to --- he thinks its a great way to get back at the Chinese diplomats for all their unpaid parking tickets!

    No!

    Yes! And the secret basement under the embassy that the last guy kept stocked with fine Scotch will be filled with Chinese Books of Mormon!

    No!

    Yes! And Huntsman will give them away as tips when he eats at restaurants!

    No!

    Yes! He's already taken the picture of his family that he's going to stick in the front!

    No!

    Yes!

    No!

    Yes!
Don't lie, kids. It's not the right thing to do.

(ps: if, postambassadorship, Huntsman gets called as a General Authority, I'm totally running this post again.)

last week's more serious svithe

7 comments:

  1. Wow, Th. I had no idea you were a rumor mill insider.

    How do you avoid getting ground up?

    (Funny svithe, I laughed.)

    ReplyDelete
  2. .

    Update! His body guards are all nineteen and have had two months of intensive language training!

    ReplyDelete
  3. berzerkcarrottop5/18/2009 11:14 AM

    Another white, Republican man gets called as a GA? Shocker!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I don't think I've laughed this hard at anything in months.

    How about this one:

    He's putting up a link from "more info" page of the U.S. Embassy website to the Mormon Messages YouTube Channel!

    ReplyDelete
  5. .

    It's true! I heard that from my sisterinlaw's uncle who owns the Salt Lake where some guy named Orson Kimball told him!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Really? I heard it from my brother who works for the new Church radio station! He said that Governor Huntsman asked them to simultaneously broadcast BYU devotionals in Chinese!

    ReplyDelete