Top Five X of 2001–2025: Superheros

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One of the reasons I started this list is because of Unbreakable, so to discover late in the process that it came out in…2000 was heartbreaking.

So it goes.

But that opens up space in the top five for someone new.

But what counts? Bond/Hunt/Bourne have skills just as superheroey as, say, Batman, just sans cape. What about kung-fu and wuxia movies? So superheroey. What about Scott Pilgrim vs the World?

I decided none of those were options for this list (not that I would have picked a Bond film); in short, I didn’t want to spend time writing an unassailable definition of “superhero” movie, so I largely just went by Do We Talk About It as a Superhero Movie? Even that left some uncertainties. Joker didn’t make the cut, for instance—I just don’t think it’s a superhero movie. Perhaps I’m wrong. You can go to my Letterboxd to see if I haven’t seen a movie (eg Brightburn), but you may not be able to tell if it just didn’t quite count definitionally (eg Pacific Rim), didn’t quite make it into the top five (eg Captain Marvel), or I straight-up didn’t like it (eg Spider-Man: No Way Home).

We’ll get to the overall top five in a minute but first let us recognize that the last quarter-century has been, bar none, the best-ever quarter-century for superhero movies. Tons of volume which means plenty of good ones snuck through.

Therefore, let us first mark three additional top fives for Marvel, DC, and non-marvel/dc movies (ignoring for now any films that made my overall top five), if for no other reason than to recognize the cultural relevancy achieved this century by superhero cinema.

(Although we are still waiting for a worthy [or any] Flaming Carrot or Madman movie.)

Links on numbers go to JustWatch; links on titles go to Wikipedia. 1 = Thutopia; 3 = Thubstack. But you’ll notice most of these watched occurred before the mid-2021 founding of Thubstack.

 

MARVEL

This was the most challenging section of this post as there are so many Marvel movies and quite a few of them hover around the same level of good. (And many of them share the same flaw[s]: uninteresting villain or weak final act.) I see fifteen movies that reasonable could have made this list (and may well have on a different day). Fifteen is triple what I’ve included. I honestly do not know if I have chosen correctly. I’m very torn. Your corrections welcome.

#1: Spider-Man 2 (2004) 1
#2: The Avengers (2012) 1, 1, 1
#3: Black Panther (2018) 1, 1
#4: Guardians of the Galaxy (2014) 1, 1
#5: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017) 1, 1

 

DC

This bunch includes undoubtedly my most controversial choice. I haven’t seen it since it came out but, brace yourself, I thought it made some excellent decisions. One key one better than the book, even.

#1: Wonder Woman (2017) 1, 1
#2: Batman Begins (2005) 1
#3: The Batman (2022) 1, 2, 1, 2
#4: The LEGO Batman Movie (2017) 1, 1
#5: Watchmen (2009)

 

NON-MARVEL/DC

This group wasn’t as strong as I anticipated. It was less about what to leave out and more about what to put in. We could do better!

#1: Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie (2017) 1
#2: Chronicle (2012) 1
#3: Incredibles 2 (2018) 1
#4: Fast Color (2018) 1
#5: Midnight Special (2016) 1

 

OVERALL TOP FIVE SUPERHERO MOVIES OF 2001–2025

#5: Thor: Ragnarok (2017) 1, 1, 1

No other superhero movie this century has brought the joy like Ragnarok (although one wonders, if Edgar Wright had been allowed to finish Ant-Man, it would have matched these heights; it came close as is). Plenty of humor, kickin’ needledrops, amazing visuals, true emotions. Honestly, if this were the best superhero movie of the twenty-first century, we’d still be doing just fine.

#4: Logan (2017) 1

I have seen very few of the X-Men movies (I think just the first two and this one) but Logan is incredible. It proudly displays its debt to Shane and it does Shane proud. Reasonable people can disagree about which is the better movie. Details of its near-future world come to me frequently and its violent meditation on aging and mortality and what we give coming generations is genuinely moving.

#3: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018) 1, 1

One of a handful of animated movies ever to shake up the medium and force everyone to realize that more is possible. That enough makes it important. but few movies ever made have the power to put the feeling of becoming a superhero directly into your veins like this one. We are Miles Morales. My only regret is not seeing this movie when I was fourteen.

#2: The Dark Knight (2008) 1

One of Christopher Nolan’s projects seems to be exploring the potential for goodness within humanity. Which is an astonishing thing to say about the movie that gave us the most terrifyingly evil villain in movie-superhero history. The superhero genre is about giving us extremes in order to consider questions of moral importance. At least, that’s floating along under the surface somewhere. But it works best when the hero is compromised and the villain has the momentum. No movie dives deeper into ethical ambiguity or provides as hopeful a solution as The Dark Knight.

#1: Incredibles (2004) 1, 1

It’s the best one. Every team movie is about family. This one is a family. Every superhero has something to prove. This one features that need from past, present, and future perspectives. Every superhero needs thrilling action and real stakes. They also require a full grounding in the mundane so we believe. The Incredibles is the bar all others strive for. It’s the best one. It just is.

Your assignment, should you chose to accept it (the coming-unto-christ svithe)

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I was asked to speak on what it means to come unto Christ. I asked for the topic a couple months ago but the chaos of late means I didn't get it written until this week. I suspect it's a little long so I'll likely have to do some editing on the fly. But hey—what's all we can do, again?

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Often, we interpret the invitation to “come unto Christ” as a direction to “be like Christ.” But so much of what Christ did, we cannot do. And even if we could, he already did it for us. Consider what Christ did in the Garden of Gethsemane: In some way untethered to human time, he stepped out of his own life and experienced each of ours. Not so he could judge us but so he could understand us and comfort us and atone for us. Somehow, that evening, he lived my life and your life and everyone’s life, then came back to his own, prepared to do his impossible task.

None of us can do that. Nor do we need to. Christ did it for us.

So what do we need to do? How do we come unto Christ?

Let’s dance through the scriptures for a moment.

Amaleki, the final writer in the Small Plates, tells us that we “should come unto Christ…and partake of his salvation, and the power of his redemption. Yea, come unto him, and offer your whole souls as an offering unto him…and, as the Lord liveth, ye will be saved.”

I like this idea that coming unto Christ is kinda the same thing as being saved.

Moroni, the final writer in the Book of Mormon, tells us to come “unto Christ, and be perfected in him…and love God with all [our] might, mind and strength, [because] then [will] his grace [be] sufficient… [and we] may be perfect in Christ.”

That being-perfect thing reminds me of Jesus’s commandment, the crazy one, that we be perfect. That’s a heavy instruction. I started this talk by saying Jesus does things we can’t be expected to do and now he himself tells us to be perfect? Coming unto Christ means being perfect first??

No. No, no, no.

That is not what Moroni said. We come unto Christ. Then we’re perfected in him. Because his grace will be sufficient to make us perfect.

Okay. We’re getting somewhere.

Now, here in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the most famous bonmot on grace has to be Nephi’s: “We labor diligently…to persuade our children…to believe in Christ, and to be reconciled to God; for”—here it comes—“we know that it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do.”

Now, most of my life I’ve tended to think this means that we’re saved by grace after getting ourselves as close to perfect as possible

Is that correct?

Well, let’s continue our dance across the scriptures.

Our first stop is Anti-Nephi-Lehi, the brother of Lamoni and the inheritor of their father the king’s responsibilities.

The Lamanites have split into two groups. Anti-Nephi-Lehi leads those who have been converted to the gospel of Jesus Christ. Those who have not been converted are filled with rage at what they see as a betrayal of their traditions and they have taken up weapons and are marching forward to destroy these converts.

Anti-Nephi-Lehi is their king. His people are filled with faith. But they fear for their lives. And the lives of their families and friends.

What would you say?

This is what Anti-Nephi-Lehi said:

“I thank my God, my beloved people, that our great God has in goodness sent these our brethren…to preach unto us…. And…I thank my great God that he has given us a portion of his Spirit to soften our hearts…. And I also thank my God, yea, my great God, that he hath granted unto us that we might repent of these things, and also that he hath forgiven us…and taken away the guilt from our hearts, through the merits of his Son….

“Now behold, my brethren, since it has been all that we could do—”

Let me interrupt Anti-Nephi-Lehi here to point out that we were just wondering what it means that “it is by grace…we are saved, after all we can do” and now this good man is about to tell us exactly what “all we can do” is. Let’s let him do it.

“Now behold,” he was saying, “it has been all that we could do…to repent of…our sins…and to get God to take them away from our hearts…it was all we could do to repent sufficiently before God that he would take away our stain—

“[And now]…my best beloved…since God hath taken away our stains, and our swords have become bright, then let us stain our swords no more….

“The great God has had mercy on us, and made these things known unto us…because he loves our souls…. In his mercy he doth visit us by his angels, that the plan of salvation might be made known unto us as well as unto future generations. Oh, how merciful is our God!”

In this moment, the people of Anti-Nephi-Lehi attain a sort of perfection unique in the Book of Mormon. They lay down their evil tools, their swords and their cimeters, and rather than staining those tools with the blood of their fellow children of God, they allow themselves to be slain. This is a remarkable choice. No one else in the Book of Mormon has such courage. And their courage changes the hearts of their enemies. Their courage brings many of those enemies, too, unto Christ.

So. According to Anti-Nephi-Lehi, what is “all we can do”? We can repent.

That doesn’t seem like much.

That doesn’t seem like very far on the road to perfection.

But remember what Moroni said: it’s by coming unto Christ that, in him, we are perfected. All we can do is repent—and then we are saved by his grace.

Paul taught that “We can do nothing against the truth, but for the truth.” And the truth of Christ is that he was born, he lived, he died, and he lived again—all for us.

Ammon was one of the missionaries who brought so many Lamanites, including Anti-Nephi-Lehi, to Christ. Reflecting on that great labor, he said, “Let us glory…in the Lord.

“Yea, we will rejoice, for our joy is full…we will praise our God forever…. Who can glory too much in the Lord?... Who can say too much of his great power, and of his mercy…?

“Who could have supposed that our God would have been so merciful as to have snatched us from our awful, sinful, and polluted state?

“[But] he that repents and exercises faith, and brings forth good works, and prays continually without ceasing—unto such…it shall be given…to bring thousands of souls to repentance, even as it has been given unto us to bring these our brethren to repentance.”

In Lehi’s dream, when he saw the Tree of Life, his first thought was to share it. So it was with Ammon and his fellow missionaries. So it was with Lamoni and his fellow Lamanite converts.

Joseph Smith tells us that missionary work “should…be attended to with great earnestness.” Even when we feel like our actions are small and insignificant, we should not “count them as small things; for there is much which [lies in the future]…which depends upon these [small] things.

“You know,” Brother Joseph said, “a very large ship is benefited very much by a very small helm in the time of a storm, by being kept workways with the wind and the waves. Therefore…let us cheerfully do all things [all things!] that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.”

Our little things are little. But they are enough.

With Christ, they are enough.

Jesus teaches us that if we “have not faith, hope, and charity, [we] can do nothing.”

So we come unto Christ by repentance—it’s the only thing we can do. He gives us faith, hope, and charity. And then—we can do things. Which only means little, small things. All we can do.

Last month, on the way to my uncle’s funeral in Idaho, my parents, sister, and I went to church in Beaver, Utah. There were two youth speakers who talked about girls camp, then the first adult speaker opened with this observation:

No one will remember this talk.

No one will remember any talk they hear.

My mother and father and sister later insisted they remember lots and lots of sacrament-meeting talks. Maybe they do. I kinda doubt it, but maybe.

Regardless, giving a talk? It’s a pretty small thing. I’m taking up ten minutes of your time. Probably you will have forgotten this talk before Sunday School’s over. But, today, it’s what I can do. That and repent, I suppose.

Jesus taught we can do nothing without faith, hope, and charity.

Not even repent?

Paul explained that even if we have “the gift of prophecy, and [understand] all mysteries, and [have] all knowledge,” without “charity, [we are] nothing.” Yes, he said, “faith, hope, charity,” all great, “but the greatest…is charity.”

Jesus is clear that he always has his arms open to us. The only thing keeping us from his grasp is our own selves. Which is all sin is: Rejecting Christ’s grace. And this is all repentance is: Accepting Christ’s grace. Repentance is accepting as real the relationship we have with Jesus Christ—the relationship he never stops believing in.

Perhaps that is why the greatest of these is charity. Because if all we can do is repent, and if all repentance is is accepting the Savior’s love, then perhaps all we can do is have charity for ourselves. Perhaps that is all repentance is: Learning to love ourselves. Just as Christ does.

My most profound spiritual experiences have been about just that—recognizing that I am loved.

I was at the end of my mission, sitting on an airplane. It was too late to do anything better than I had already done. I worried that I hadn’t been as good a missionary as I should have been.

Then the Lord told me to stop comparing myself to other people. He had called me to be a missionary. And I, me, as myself, had been a missionary. It may have been a small thing, but it was enough. And I repented. I chose to love myself and my service. I accepted myself as Christ accepted me.

This is all any of us is asked to do.

Think about your current responsibilities—family, calling, whatever. What you do may not be large in the scope of world history. But “a very large ship is benefited very much by a very small helm….being kept workways with the wind and the waves. Therefore…let us cheerfully do all things [all things!] that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.”

Our little things are little. Our small things are small. But they are enough.

All we can do is enough.

And all we can do is repent.

And all repentance is is allowing Christ to love us—to feel his charity for us.

We can do that.

We can do that.

We can allow our Savior to love us.

We can have charity, as he does, for ourselves.

From there, we can learn to feel charity for all.

“By small and simple things are great things brought to pass”—including the salvation and perfection, of our own souls.

In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Fifty-three days and only nine books (American literacy truly is in decline)

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Man alive. Reading Moby Dick is really slowing my ability to finish other books. I am enjoying it, but tell you what—I'll be glad when it's done.

Kind of blown away I've been building this set since June. Get reading, Theric!

Incidentally, my essay on Napoleon Dynamite just helped launch Waypoints, a new pop-culture site. Check it out! 

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035) Okchundang Candy by Jung-soon Go and translated by Airin Park, finished May 22

Why are there so few picture books for adults?

My guess is economics. Adults don't reread like kids do and so the dollars spent on a picture book divided by the number of minutes spent with it just doesn't make sense.

This book is much longer than a kids picture book (the library put it in Juvenile Graphic Novels) and might appeal to kids, but even with its juvenile p-o-v (sorta; it's an unseen adult remembering) I feel that this story about her grandparents' love and how it navigated lung cancer and widowhood is inherently adult.

It's a lovely and moving book.

(Yes it's a library book and yes this is 2026 but it didn't feel like cheating because I'm not the one who checked it out and it didn't take that long to read.)

one sit before and one sit after dinner 

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036) The Lost Gate by Orson Scott Card, finished May 27

I actually picked up this book with the intention to get rid of it. I'm a fan of Card's and I do want to finish reading all his early work but this last YA novel didn't hold much interest. Out of respect, I decided to read the first couple paragraphs, however, and here we are.

In the afterword, Card says he's been developing this world and its magic system since 1977. And no question this is one of my favorite magic systems I've ever read. He also, in the afterword, says that he finished this novel by cranking out a chapter a day and getting it to his publisher after the deadline. This may show.

I don't like a lot of of things about this book. It seems to be trying to fit in aberrant sex with the subtlety of a 14yrold writing sex for the first time. It's weird and gross and off. It doesn't work. And all the characters under the age of twenty-five talk like . . . well, not like humans circa 2010, I can tell you that. It's crazy because writing about precocious kids is Card's wheelhouse and these kids aren't real.

But the plot and story are excellent. I'm tempted to read more of the series simply because those aspects are so strong. But that's exactly what one could get from a Wikipedia summary. But as the characters age, they should become more realistic. But, having read a lot of Card, I think I already know how a lot of their characters will develop and related to each other as time goes on.

So in the end, a bit of a mixed bag. I would say I wish he had more time to refine the novel (I feel he could have), but I'm told he recently said in an interview that, since the death of his son, he hasn't been able to tell if his work is good. So maybe not.

(It's a biographical detail imbued with pathos, regardless of this book's quality.)

I understand why people like this novel but in the end, I think it gets a soft thumbs down from me. There are many better Card books. Save this for when you're hungry for second-tier work.

One other quick observation: this book is unfilmable. A new kind of narrative artform demands invention before this book can be adapted to something involving actors. Something deeper and more internal than "virtual reality"; something that can affect your proprioception the way films affect your retina.

perhaps a month 

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037) Bad Kitty Goes on Vacation by Nick Bruel, finished June 1

The Bad Kitty books are great. But me, a fuddyduddy, does not prefer them colorized.

a june first 

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038) Backward by Ben Abbott, finished June 10

Read or performed, Ben's work is great. This is his final thesis for his MFA and it's terrific. A man relives each day of his life in backwards order then relives them once again—once more forward. I love playing with time. Some of my favorites of life being scrambled include one of the stories in Hyperion and the novels Replay and The Time Traveler's Wife, but Ben's found something new and it's wonderful.

It's a one-man show and I'd love to know how it turned out. It seems like a real challenge for any actor and I'd love to see how it all turned out.

Wonderfully, following the play (because this is a thesis), Ben takes us through the writing process. And I maybe loved that as much as the play (although only the play made me cry). The perfect thing to read, really, before I disappear for a week to rewrite Honeymoon in Copper (this is then world premier of the title—feel special!). Some of the holes in the novel are coming into focus and Ben has pushed me to nail them down. Exciting times!

The play's nominated for an AML Award and you can read it yourself by clicking the title above. I certainly recomment it. 

one long sit 

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039) Too Many Cooks by Rex Stout, finished June 12

This is my second Nero Wolfe novel, though I've collected maybe half a dozen since the first.

The structure of this novel was quite different from Fer-de-Lance which made me happy. This was a big more what I expected the first time but, since it wasn't last time, now it wasn't this time. The reveal wasn't until the penultimate chapter in a gather-them-all-in-one-room scene and since Archie's our p-o-v character, I really had no idea what was about to go down. Fun. Less interesting as a mystery, perhaps, as the previous volume, but good.

What was more interesting was how Stout explored racism and misogyny. I know!

Amazingly, this novel not only gets Wolfe out of his apartment but clear down to West Virginia where we encounter some plainfaced Southern racism. Archie's a bit disgusted by it but not because he isn't also racist (though he may dislike d***s more than n*****s) but because it's crass how these white Southerners act. Show some dignity, you crackers.

Anyway, Nero Wolfe does treat the black characters with respect. Partially that's to his own ends, but also, one senses that he means it. That his more worldwide past has led him to a place where he knows better—genuinely knows better—than to judge a man by the color of his skin. He means it.

Yet Nero Wolfe is, simultaneously, the worst misogynist of them all. I suspect his decision to live a life undistracted by such things as romance and wiles was only possible by developing an antipathy for women. Mere disinterest was impossible. Hatred was the only path to safety and he took it.

Mind, most of what I'm saying here is my analysis—it's subtext. But I think I'm right. And it's a richer book for it.

This isn't to say the book as aged brilliantly. But I think it has aged acceptably. 

couple weeks at most 

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040) Pickles by Brian Crane, finished July 7
041) Pickles, Too by Brian Crane, finished July 7

Brian Crane is an old friend of my in-laws. We're visiting them now and they have his first two collections, signed, and I picked them up. Good stuff.

two days

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042) Lost & Found by Shaun Tan, finished July 13
043) The Arrival by Shaun Tan, finished July 13

Lady Steed insisted she had no idea who Shaun Tan was which seemed insane to me. Who can read The Arrival and ever forget it? But I put some of his books on hold at the library and they came and I couldn't let the opportunity go by without re/reading some myself.

Lost & Found is a collection of three earlier works. They're concerned with some of the same things as The Arrival but they all rely on words which keeps the reader a bit more grounded. The Arrival has words only in an inaccessible tongue. This is part of what makes it perhaps the greatest exploration of the immigrant experience. You the reader will feel as lost and confused as our immigrant protagonist. At the same time, you'll gender a renewed appreciation for the greatness of nations that welcome the tired, the poor, the huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of other teeming shores, the homeless, the tempest-tost. That act of welcoming such peoples may be the best way to define a nation's greatness.

The Arrival's very much in the tradition of the one-image-a-page artists of a century ago, but his artistry has more options available to it. For instance, pacing, as when he spends a single spread with 60 individually drawn images of clouds, or a spread of 24 images of one plant's entire life cycle to show the passage of time. Truly a masterpiece by a master artist.

I would love someday to go to a Shaun Tan retrospective at a museum (are you listening SFMOMA, Cartoon Art Museum?) and just stand in front of his art at the size he made it and just take it all in.

one evening 

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previous books

Top Five X of 2001–2025: Horrorthe movie's playing inside the house

 

Therefore we must judge a weird tale not by the author’s intent, or by the mere mechanics of the plot; but by the emotional level which it attains at its least mundane point. If the proper sensations are excited, such a “high spot” must be admitted on its own merits as weird literature, no matter how prosaically it is later dragged down. (HP Lovecraft)

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Okay. To qualify for this list, it had to genuinely terrify me at some point. This does mean that some excellent movies classified, say, on Letterboxd as “horror” (Godzilla Minus One, Frankenstein, Presence, Sinners, Mad God, A Ghost Story) were left off my list, while some I, at least, don’t think of as “horror” got more serious consideration (mother!, Pan’s Labyrinth), although in the end, I wanted a horror movie not just a great moment ala Lovecraft’s definition.

And few genres are as subjective as horror. Your mileage will certainly vary.

Special honorable mention to LAIKA’s ouevre because they are amazing and scary and I love them, even if I didn’t include them. I fear I may have a bias against “kids” movies when considering horror. But LAIKA’s films are amazing and should make anyone’s short list. Watch for Wildwood this fall.

When we get to my top five, I’ll tell you right now that the top three required no internal debate. The last two really had to battle it out among some other great movies, so let me chronologically shout out now my honorable mentions which, on a different day, may well have made the list (1 = review on thutopia; 2 = review on thubstack):

Barbarian (2022) — Probably may favorite basement in all of film. Plus, it’s like three great movies in 108 minutes. Best bargain in this entire write-up. (1,2)

Bubba Ho-tep (2002) — Who better to fight a mummy than a couple old guys stored away in a retirement home? (1)

Get Out (2017) — Truly a masterpiece. Works as both comedy and horror. Gives students the power to see and analyze film at a higher level. (1,1,1,1,2)

The Host (2006) — My favorite big-monster horror movie of the century. A more manageable size than, say, Godzilla. But since it can hide, isn’t that kinda scarier?

Let the Right One In (2008) — Lot of little-kid monsters in movies but this is the best of the century so far, imo. (1)

No One Will Save You (2023) — Maybe the only grey-aliens movie I like. I love that it chose to use no dialogue in the entire film. Should have been a star-making turn for its lead, but I guess people didn’t see it in Obsession numbers. (1,2)

A Quiet Place (2018) — I think we could get broad agreement that this movie did more for broadening the soundscape of horror than any other movie in living memory? (1,2)

The VVitch (2015) — One of the most frightening trailers I’ve seen. I grant that my first watch didn’t work as well as I wanted, but now, as I understand Eggers’s overall project better, the movie has grown in my estimation. Excited to watch it again someday! (1)

And now for our Top Five!

I’d kind of hoped I would end up with a little less mainstream a list but I won’t apologize for being a populist for once in my life. I stand by all these movies even though I’ve only seen each of them once. They’ve stuck with me in and still make me think and that’s really all that we want from a horro flick, n’est-ce pas?

5—10 Cloverfield Lane (2016) [1]

This film balances (and often improves on) elements from films like Night of the Living Dead, Silence of the Lambs, Saw, and other classics, but it’s reorganized them into something new. It even makes bold with answering its primary question in the final scene (maybe a requirement of the sereis?) and I’m still not sure if that was a good decision or not, but I’m always happy when movies take risks. Plus, this is a three-hander and two of those hands are Mary Elizabeth Winstead and John Goodman. That would be enough to sell me on any movie in any genre.

4—Midsommar (2019) [1]

Every once in a while, a horror movie will come out that will attract even Lady Steed and she’ll end up watching it with me and sometimes—Midsommar might be the purest example of this—she will regret it and (so far, at least) never cease to regret it. Midsommar spends so much of its time in bright sunshine that it seems impossible that it could be genuinely terrifying. How can a film scare us without endless shadows and spooky trees for things to hide behind? Ends up, the scariest stuff is inside those smiling faces.

3—Cabin in the Woods (2011) [1]

It has some genuinely scary parts up top but as it spins, first into meta and parody, then into lovecraftian cosmic horror, it’s a bit less successful at “scary” but it’s so intelligent and such fun I can’t hold that against it. Watching men in suits discuss how best to murder the young is the banality-of-evil recast as entertainment, and no less for it. Unquestionably the funniest movie on this list.

2—The Ring (2002)

This is the first scary movie Lady Steed and I watched together that has never quite left her. It’s funny, because when we watch movies I’m the one who’s jumping and yelling, but they don’t haunt me the way they haunt her. And we didn’t even have kids then! Needless to say, we’ve never talked ourselves into watching the Japanese original. But Gore Verbinski’s version is him at his his image-making best. I don’t think even Jack Sparrow beats his girl crawling out of tv. We all remember that, no matter when or how we first saw it. And even though the movie is trapped in early-oughts green and blue.

1—It Follows (2014) [1]

The End of Oak Street is my post anticipated movie this summer and it’s entirely because It Follows is the greatest horror movie of this century (and because his follow up [1,2] is such a perfectly Lynchian conspiracy mindfold). David Robert Mitchell has earned my trust. And it all began with It Follows, a film that captures nightmare logic (slowly everyone disappears but yourself / you can’t trust your own eyes / the sense of relentless unstoppable persuit) but places it in a world that feels actual and lived. Maika Monroe’s performance is perfect. (And, to be clear, she’s not the reason Long Legs [1,2] failed.) But if It Follows can’t make you look over your shoulder or stare at some face a little too long, wow. Lucky you. Because I’m getting nervous looking at you not being nervous at all. What are you??? And why are you standing dead center along my landscape’s point of convergence?

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previous Top Five X of 2001–2025: RomCom [1,2]

Thanks(things friends say)

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Luckily, I’ve know this guy a long time and I’m familiar with the manifestations of his schizophrenia, or two elements of our conversation could possibly have been interpreted as offensive.

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You look different. Are you a vampire now? Or maybe you stopped being a vampire?

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[On having learned he may be a father, thanks to an incident in 2001 he does not remember.]

But I really think I’m still a virgin. But that could be, right? It makes me think of people like Donald Trump and you. Do you think there are men who’ve gotten married and had children but are still virgins?

Let’s fix America with a good movie(it’s worth a shot)

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One year, the NBC comedy Community did a Claymation-esque Christmas special. The conceit was this: Christmas was broken for Abed (he used to spend it with his mom and she blew him off to be with her new family) and he was lost, trying to figure out what Christmas was all about.

In the end, this batch of outwardly cynical but inwardly loving friends decide that the meaning of Christmas is that it has a meaning. And as long as you believe that, it doesn’t have to be the same for everyone.

No one else’s meaning of Christmas needs to define your own.

That might be a helpful way to think about Independence Day in 2026.

As a Bicentenniel Baby, I’ve been looking forward to this July 4 my entire life. And…it’s been kinda ruined by a corrupt president who makes everything about him. Which sucks.

But I am an American. And July 4th means something to me and no one can take that away. And no one can take it from you either.

This is our holiday.

And patriotism is whatever we say it is.

Now with most of the country locked down by a deadly wave (even Philadelphia with the first parade I kinda wanted to go to since I was like ten!), you probably need to stay inside and crank the AC anyway. (I won’t tell you our temps by the Bay. You’re better off not knowing.) So why not watch a movie?

Movies are a great way to celebrate America. We make them, we watch them, we love them.

Here are some suggestions based on my own tastes and nostalgias.

But before I start, I should note that loving Americans is not quite the same thing as loving America. I decided to stay away from movies that only do the former in favor of ones that take a stab at revealing the latter. In part, that’s because America is a concept and so loving something like the First Amendment or the idea that all men are created equal is de facto being American and loving America.

Speaking of the First Amendment, you can’t hate on movies about those Great Americans, journalists—especially when they’re taking on the Federal Government. That’s patriotism, friends. And this is a grand tradition, but I suppose if you can only pick one (and you haven’t seen this before), it must be All the President’s Men.

But I don’t mean to imply that our government is the enemy of the people. That’s nonsense. Individuals can be awful (like Claude Rains in Mr. Smith Goes to Washington) or excellent (like James Stewart in Mr. Smith Goes to Washington) or dumb schmucks doing their best (like Dave in Dave), but goverment is an excellent source of patriots. I’d kinda like to (finally) watch Lincoln this weekend, myself.

 

Some movies call America to repentence, which is a deeply patriotic duty. Casablanca does this (and, bonus, is one of the greatest films ever made), but it’s most patriotic moment is French. But it’ll make you cry. So maybe save that for Bastille Day, later this month?

Uniquely American genres are a good source of American ideals. High Noon is about the individual standing up for right even when they must stand alone. The Man Who Shot Liberty Valence is about how we use stories to create a better America. Neither is simple, clean, rah-rah patriotism. But it is patriotism.

Capitalism is America’s greatest blessing and curse, and movies can find ways to make you grapple with capitalism’s sins while still making you feel proud to be an American. Movies as different as The Solid Gold Cadillac and Annie have done that for me.

But ambivalence is an important part of being a thoughtfully patriotic American. The Mountain of the Lord captures this from my own tradition—we see both the Utah War when America once again tried to destroy the Mormons, and the Mormons delightful celebration of the Centenniel. Being a good American means grapping with contrary ideas. The Founders are our best evidence of that.

But this never goes away. I only recently learned the name of this movie (haven’t seen it since I was a kid and never knew how to locate it but it’s The One And Only, Genuine, Original Family Band), but its portrayal of how people feel when they put their all into an election only to lose has never left me. And now I know that feeling well.

I don’t want to dismiss big (often) dumb actioneers. These work for lots of people and they work on me too, when they have enough honest moments. So there is nothing wrong with watching Captain America: The First Avenger or Independence Day. Heck yeah.

Lots of movies are at their most American when they’re about immigrants. No one loves this country like someone who chose it. Maybe try An American Pickle? Most people haven’t.

Although I knew even as a kid that it’s final naturalization ceremony is manipulative and sentimental and kinda terrible, I have to recommend Short Circuit II, even though I’m shying away from anything AI these days. The scene where Johnny 5 reads all those books still gets me, and its unabashedly earnest equivalence between being human and being American makes me feel something even if I’m annoyed at it afterwards.

But the number one movie I want to recommend to you this holiday weekend is Born Yesterday.

As I wrote when I first saw it, only earlier this year, it’s a “a romcom for you and America. And you need that right now.”

I stand by that.

 

Watch this ditz learn to read and then discover America all on her own. It’ll make you want to sing Independence carols with your fellow citizens across America.

Don’t miss it.

And share with me your recs! I can use more!