Aren’t bonobos those apes that have constant recreational sex?
Why would you name pants after such a beast?


I need new pants. I've reached the same point Ralph Waldo Emerson had when, in an address to the Harvard Divinity School, he famously said, "I'm sick to death of crap pants."

I know exactly how he feels.

Not that all my pants are "crap" pants, but I would be okay with some genuinely nice pants. Pants that are comfortable and look decent. I'm not out to become a matinee model, but hey---I wear a tie every day. The pants should be part of the package.

So I saw an ad in Wired that caught my attention and flitted over to Bonobos to check out their wares. And very cool wears they are, if they carry corduroys in these sweetdogallelujah colors:

bonobos costly apparel

Let me swiftly assure you that their pants come in more sensible everyday colors as well, but 1 I love corduroys and 2 cool pants, guys. I will not be copying that belt buckle, but that doesn't affect the coolness of the pants.

But let's say I bought those three pairs up there. I'm now out $374.


Um. I'm a teacher.
    If you are a public school teacher, a fireman, a public servant, a nurse, or any other profession where you've chosen to serve rather than to earn as a first priority, then you may qualify for a Bonobos Band of Brothers discount.

    We'd rather live in a society where school social workers earn just as much as commercial lenders, and people who save lives don't have to work all their lives to save. We don't love Ayn Rand, but we respect some of her ideas. We aren't avaricious investment bankers, but we did work in finance. Essentially, we'd like to make our products a bit more affordable for people that have consciously chosen a career that is less lucrative.
But I wonder, for the price of my application essay, can I really get a discount that puts these threads within my price range?

And if so, can I really feel good about buying orange pants under such circumstances?

These are the ethical questions educators struggle with every day.


  1. That's the most disingenuous thing I've seen in a long time.

    Either price them for a median or price them what you think they're worth but essay writing? Really?

    Got better things to do than write a letter for a 5% discount on overpriced pants.

  2. .

    Exactly. I didn't go into The Service in order to grovel.

  3. The red ones are kind of shiny...they might be worth an essay.

  4. Firemen and public servants are paid VERY WELL. In fact, their extreme benefits are one of the reasons California is going bankrupt.

    46 out of 102 government retirees in Vallejo receive pensions of more than $100k per year. That's more than I'd ever hope to receive. I don't think they deserve a discount.

    In fact, I think that government workers should have salary cuts and pension reductions just like everyone else in the private sector is experiencing right now.

  5. .

    I'm feeling the pain. The most recent contract proposal would price me out of my job. Too bad no other industries are hiring right now....

  6. What it says to me is:

    Prove to us you are WORTHY to wear Bonobos pants since you obviously aren't wealthy enough to do so.


  7. Im glad you said they had different colors because before I scrolled down , my initial reaction was I could not where those and feel straight.

    Just me, but then I only wear jeans of varying degrees of thickness. As in the new ones are not so comfortable but the ones about to disentigrate are real comfy.

    Black slacks for my church and occasional other events. Dark olive green too but I never wear them. Black leather pants I bought before I was married and just cant find a reason to wear in Utah county anymore.

    Camo pants in the closet but I don't wear them anymnore cuz I don't want people thinking I belong at Camp Williams or am in a Militia.

    But hey, youre a teacher tell the kids it alright to wear orange pants.

  8. I'm not sure what I think about the flip-flops and orange pants. Aside from their extreme orangeness, these pants look too classy for flip-flops. But I guess if they cost so much, the only shoes you can afford might be some cheap sandals...

  9. Gents--

    I'm really glad to to see such a robust discussion here. Let me explain the "Band of Brothers" program a little more.

    There is NO essaying! We ask guys with careers in public service to write to us and let us know of their interest in the program and our brand, and then we offer them a very large discount (such that we do not make money on those purchases).

    We don't do this to pat ourselves on the back. We do it to express gratitude. Our CEO is the son of an immigrant and a schoolteacher. My mother worked nights as a nurse my entire childhood. We have all of us benefited from public service, and we want to give back in the way we're most able: through our company.

    Our pants cost a lot because they are manufactured here in America from the best imported fabrics, not because we're padding out wallets. Trust me, we're running a lean team here!

    I will gladly answer any questions about our company, our policies, and/or our products--just email me at ninjas@bonobos.com.

    Thanks for your time, guys.

  10. Hey! They talked back to us!! But...I am not a gent...and he dissed me even after I recommended the shiny red pants. :-(

  11. .

    Thanks for stopping by, Marshall. And for what it's worth, I love that you call yourselves ninjas. I'm up with that.

  12. .

    Oh---and if you stop by again, why "Bonobos"?

  13. .

    [Edit: minor coding error]

  14. This post and thread are hilarious, my brother-in-law loves Bonobos pants and I just think it's all hilarious. Thanks for an interesting post and even better comments.

  15. .

    Wow! What does he do for a living.

  16. Does he have the red ones? If he does, will he post a picture here?