Svithing Pure Religion

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The first paragraph in a recent press release from the Church:

For members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and many others, the biblical apostle James’ definition of pure religion is more than a platitude. It is an extremely practical way to approach personal, family and community challenges. James’ understanding of this principle is expressed in this way: “Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, to visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.”

Thanksgiving is a good time to think about Pure Religion. Me, I spend a lot of time utterly failing in this camp. I'm not the world's best sharer. Within my family, sure, but outside? I have a lot of growing to do. Don't expect me to sell all my crap and give the proceeds to the poor anytime soon. I've had too many bad experiences with beggars to trust them anymore and if I gave a buck to every kid who asked, I'ld soon be in the hole. And debt isn't precisely what deity has in mind for me, I don't imagine.

Latter-day Saints take this interpretation of pure religion very seriously. Being a person of faith is something you do within the context of a world full of suffering, not just what you say or believe. Genuine and frequent charitable acts, though, are not enough on their own. They need to be enacted by individuals who are trying to live morally upright lives, or are striving to keep themselves “unspotted from the world.”

In other words, the best 'charity' is committed by the charitable. Christlike acts by the Christlike.

Many Latter-day Saints feel this desire to reach out to the downtrodden — James’ widows and fatherless — and find that the two elements of his pure religion exist in a symbiotic relationship. Learning Christ’s teachings and reading about the way He conducted Himself motivates individuals to look for ways to engage with others the way He did. And serving those in need functions as a refining process — humbling the server, bringing her or him closer to Christ and His example.

It's cyclical. Act more charitable to be more charitable. Not hypocrisy, practice. Thy present becomes thy future. My present'll become my future.

Something like that.

last week's svithe

So call me a hypocrite then

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One thing I like about Obama is that he's nice to listen to. After sixteen years of presidents with really irritating accents and mannerisms, it's a relief.

One more word on Sarah Palin there

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What is wrong with people in this country? There is nothing wrong with the way Sarah Palin talks. Making fun of her dialect (which is widespread among my relations, by the by) is no different from making fun of a Southern drawl or Boston r-dropping or Ebonics. Why is the West suddenly the last fair geography to mock?

And, yes, she's not a talented soundbiter. So what? I grant you that tv skillz are necessary in today's media-ized political environment, but I'm guessing the governor of Alaska hasn't been dropping thousands on a soundbite coach. That's a crime?

I don't care if people hate her politics, but dismissing her as stupid because you don't like her accent or because she has no experience compressing big thoughts into ten-second segments is inexcusable. These are lousy lousy ways to judge the worth of either a human being or a politician.

I liked her before I heard her speak --- before McCain selected her. If you made all your judgments based on her tv-readiness, it's time to get over yourself.

I would sound like an idiot on tv.

I would sound like an idiot if you merely transcribed the way I talk.

Chances are, you would too.

Let's be honest about why Sarah Palin's [still] a punching bag. And then let's grow up a little.

Back on Motley Vision

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If you (foolishly) aren't an AMV regular, don't let that be an excuse to miss my new post there, “Mormons might well be the new Catholics!”.

I don't get it, this IQ thing.

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All these ads asking me to compare my IQ to famous people --- no famous person seems to have an IQ under 110. Bush is 120 (as is Palin), Obama is 125, Daniel Craig is 115, etc. Not an average mind among them. I didn't realize actors and politicians were generally so very very brilliant.

And here's the thing: of course these number are made up, but if you're going to give me an even-less-scientific-than-regular-IQ-tests IQ test, why not make famous people dolts so I feel good about my 95? Or am I to assume that average on these faux tests ends up being more like 140? Or are they setting us up to fail in comparison to the famed? Perhaps to help us understand it is right and good that we ourselves are not famous?

The whole thing's stupid.

Anyway, if you want a more rigorous assessment of your intelligence, play my Preseason Oscar Game. Just click the picture below.

click to play

Preseason Oscar Game

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I know, I know ---- this post is way overdue (I nearly forgot) (!). But there's still time and I trust you will spend your days off this week pondering your entry.

For you newcomers, as the year draws to a close and awards season draws nigh, Thmazing's Preseason Oscar Game becomes all the rage among hip movie lovers. Sure, some of the frontrunners haven't even come out yet, yes, it is way too soon to have any sensible idea about who will win anything, but so what? That's what Thmazing's Preseason Oscar Game is all about!

(That and a truly atrocious photograph.)



Here are the rules:

1. Your goal is to predict that a movie will be nominated in a particular category (not that it will win).

2. You may only make one nomination per award.

3. You may nominate a movie in only one category. If you nominate a movie in more than one category, only the first will count. (In other words, you can't choose In the Land of Fuzzy Dice for Best Picture and Best Actress and Best Director and Best Art Direction. And if you do, only the Best Picture guess will count. Because it came first.)

4. The winner will be the person who makes the most correct nomination guesses.

5. In the event of a tie, the tied player who posted first wins.

6. Categories marked with an * require the name of a person or a song in addition to the movie title.

7. Categories marked with an * can receive half a point even if incorrect. For instance, if you thought Parker Pooky would be nominated for Best Actor for his work in What Sandwich, but he was nominated instead for his role in Stick It in Your Ear, you will receive half a point. Similarly, if instead of Pooky, Zaron Smith is nominated for Best Actor for his work in What Sandwich, half a point. But if Smith is nominated for What Sandwich and Pooky is nommed for Stick It in Your Ear, you still only get half a point. You were wrong after all.

8. All entries must be posted in the comments of this post by the last minute of Pearl Harbor Day 2008 (that's two Sundays). Part of the preseason fun is the impossibility of having seen every movie eligible. (Not that I personally am likely to see any of them.)

9. You may research your answers anywhere you like except in the comments section of this post. Looking at others' guesses before posting your own makes you illegible to win. Honesty is our policy. That and garroting filthy cheaters.

10. You do not have to take a stab at each category to qualify. But (obviously) the more complete your survey, the better chance you have of winning.

11. Don't rearrange the nominations' order. That'll just confuse me.

12. So here's what you do: the categories appear below. Just copy them and paste them into the comments box, then fill them in.

13. REMEMBER: NO LOOKING AT OTHERS' SUBMISSIONS BEFORE SUBMITTING YOUR OWN.

14. After the real nominations come out, I will do the math and announce the winner.

15. The winner will get a cool prize.

16. So please beat me so I can give it to someone this year. I'm undefeated and, frankly, given how few movies I see, it's getting ridiculous.

So. Go forth. If you would like to see last year's competition, here's the link.

--------------------------------------
COPY AND PASTE CATEGORIES THEN FILL 'EM IN AND POST 'EM
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Best motion picture of the year
--------[title]

Best animated feature film of the year
--------[title]

Achievement in directing
--------[title]

Performance by an actor in a leading role*
--------[name] [title]

Performance by an actress in a leading role*
--------[name] [title]

Performance by an actor in a supporting role*
--------[name] [title]

Performance by an actress in a supporting role*
--------[name] [title]

Adapted screenplay
--------[title]

Original screenplay
--------[title]

Best documentary feature
--------[title]

Best foreign language film of the year
--------[title]

Best animated short film
--------[title]

Best live action short film
--------[title]

Best documentary short subject
--------[title]

Achievement in film editing
--------[title]

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original score)
--------[title]

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original song)*
--------[song] [title]

Achievement in art direction
--------[title]

Achievement in cinematography
--------[title]

Achievement in costume design
--------[title]

Achievement in makeup
--------[title]

Achievement in sound editing
--------[title]

Achievement in sound mixing
--------[title]

Achievement in visual effects
--------[title]

Svithanksgiving

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Of all the things I am grateful more, one is topmost on my mind: Lady Steed.

The most immediate impetus for this decision is Mr Fob's beautiful post on the occasion of his anniversary. The second, in good Puritan fashion, is guilt.

Two Friday's ago it was our 100th Lunaversary and I had been making plans. (And what better event to make plans for? Lady Steed would never see it coming --- it would be a grand romantic gesture. Just arrange a babysitter and --- )

Yeah. Then I completely forgot. In my favor, that was one of the busiest weekends of our life, but how can one forget the number 100 which, in our base-10 counting system, is among the most significant numbers we have? I screamed in agony as I sat reading, suddenly realizing that I had forgotten. I ranted and raved, cursing myself.

Why?

Because Lady Steed deserves a good 100th Lunaversary. She deserves a lot of things I'm less than perfect at delivering.

So for my svithe this week, although I've failed my wife, neither she nor God have failed me and I thank them.

And again, verily I say unto you, if a man marry a wife by my word, which is my law, and by the new and everlasting covenant, and it is sealed unto them by the Holy Spirit of promise, . . . [it] shall be of full force when they are out of the world; and they shall pass by the angels, and the gods, which are set there, to their exaltation and glory in all things, as hath been sealed upon their heads, which glory shall be a fulness and a continuation of the seeds forever and ever. Then shall they be gods, because they have no end; therefore shall they be from everlasting to everlasting . . . .

My love, it's a wonderful journey.




last week's svithe

Out of the closet

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I'm a girl!

ABC has broken my fragile heart

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ABC! What is wrong with you! How can you cancel the best hourlong show of my adult life? I just caught up online last night and last Wednesday's episode was wonderful! brilliant! And the plot is getting more interesting as characters grow in depth as the backstory deepens (etc etc etc).



It's nice to know that Bryan Fuller is going to finish the tales in comics (send to me for free reviews), but this is a tv show --- it's a big part of the reason I've taken to respecting tv. No matter what ABC replaces Daisies with, I'm not likely to watch it. And the comics make me nervous --- will they have the same writers? will the art be any good? And I'm happy with the notion of a movie some day, but I would rather have it every week.



What about the acclaim, ABC? What about the Emmys? What about your self respect.

Come on, people, now, come on together --- everybody come together, let's save Pushing Daisies right now.

An acrostic poem for your average Wednesday

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When the ancient
elephants cry
down at us for
new hope and
easier access to credit lines (
same as their venerated ancestors
depended upon
all those
years ago)

We will have to
effect the
dangerous attitude
necessary to drive their
enormous bulks from our monetary
sanctuaries ---
depend upon it!
and manage
yourself well, to win the battle for our children's children's children.

The 21st Five Books of 2008

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105) The Brave & the Bold, Book 2
by Mark Waid et al, finished November 16

Well, no question, this was my favorite of the four books I just borrowed from Mr Fob. Although there was an overall arching story, most of the chapters were self-contained stories. And instead of focusing on big characters (eg, Superman, Wonder Woman, Batman), most of the stories dealt with little-known characters.

Back when I was borrowing from the Fobster on a more regular basis and starting to understand what the DCU was all about, I could understand the greater mythological underpinnings that keep that boat afloat. But now that I'm back to being a casual taster, reading about less mytheavy characters such as The Doom Patrol and Metal Men is much more enjoyable --- these are characters free to be fun. And that's mostly what I want from my major-publisher superheros these days.

That and highend Batman.

three days

104) Twilight by Stephenie Meyer, finished November 15

The first, oh, 120 pages of this book were nice basic simple YA stuff --- nothing remarkable, nothing terrible. Then it settled into the most horribly boring stuff I've perhaps ever read. Three hundred pages of it. A week would go by and I would look at my nightstand for something to read and see this enormous black hardback and be totally stumped: What in the world is that? Am I reading that thing? So I would pick it up. Oh yeah. That.

Starting around the baseball game (which strikes me as utterly unfilmable, by the way) the book got fun. Not actually good, but fun. And that lasted up to the epilogue which was totally gratuitous.

I read this book because I had a paper idea (which the editor liked), but the idea of delving back into it makes me shudder. Anyone have a searchable copy they'll share? Otherwise I might not have the will to do this thing. So . . . tedious . . . .

This is why I'd been avoiding reading these books anyway. I really wanted to like them and greatly feared I would not. Which is exactly what happened.

Alas.

month and a half, ish

103) Dali & I: The Surreal Story by Stan Lauryssens, finished November 15

In brief: Stan becomes a lying thieving art dealer specializing, mostly, in fakes Dalís (although, as it ends up later, even genuine Dalis are actually fake Dalís). Then his crimes catch up with him.

The scoop: the first twenty pages or so are among the most fun, most delightful, most kick-in-the-pants fun pages I've ever read. Then the books gets overwhelmingly tedious. And the author's 'redemption' never feels even 3% genuine. He's only ever sad he gets caught, nothing else.

But what kept me going was learning about all the shady shenanigans that surrounded the Dalí art machine. That information was fascinating, but the fact that you never feel like the author is trustworthy, you can't be sure how much stock to place in his revelations. Did Dalí really have a giant dildo with the face of Hitler on it? Did he really pay a set designer to paint some of his most famous works? Did he really sell impressions of nudes' bottoms to the Vatican? Or is this the author's attempt at redemption: to show that someone else was even worse?

I don't know.

But I am much more sympathetic towards and understanding of the legions who dismiss Dalí as a fraud.

A note on the forthcoming movie: Pacino, fine, whatever. But I hope we only ever see him in a wheelchair or hospital bed. I hope they use old footage and let Dalí speak for himself.

A note on a better I-was-a-reallife-con book: Catch Me If You Can.



three or four months

102) Brave & The Bold Vol. 1: Lords Of Luck by Mark Waid and George Pérez, finished November 13

This is a silly book. But it is shamelessly silly --- it glories in its silliness. And that is exactly what silly should do.

Waid also wrote the topnotch Kingdom Come so it's not that he is capable of nothing else. Instead, I imagine that this was more of a chance to wallow in geek pride and let his freak flag fly (as it were).

And nicely done.

Plus, it's a nice crash course in the DC Universe. This is the first time I've read a Lobo story, for instance, and who knew Hal Jordan was still alive? The things you learn!

ten days

101) The Black Whole edited by Jacqueline M Jones, finished November 13

This short story collection's faults are legion --- the typos are just the first you'll notice.

The sad things is I think I would have liked this book fifteen years ago, back in high school, when I was more likely to equate tricksy endings with emotional depth..

The book's back copy wars the reader to "remember that your tastes tomorrow will be much different than today's. More than that, though, what you read here will alter you just a tad, so that tomorrow you might re-read with a totally different eye, with totally different taste buds."

Yeah. Hubris. Of the totally unjustified variety.

Let me be nice for a while and say that some of the stories were not repellent. And many more were based on genuinely clever concepts, even if the execution was disastrous.

Some examples of the good: The representation of dryads was appealing. I never saw dryads as being worth a writer's time, but I'm rethinking that. The vampire-who-eats-old-people was a nice twist on vampire stereotypes. The 9/11 story avoided the hackneyed (if barely). The woman who fell in half was genuinely startling and a good start to---

This brings me to a new subject. The halved-woman story was written by the editor (her other two delivered diminishing returns). Editing an anthology and including oneself is always dicey and smacks of hubris itself. Being an editor on such an anthology myself, this collection gives me pause and will, I trust, lead to harder more critical looks.

Anyway, this collection failed in its goals. It approximated them a few times, but ultimately, no dice. And the shocking mistakes (eg, the author whose byline doesn't match her name in the bio) don't help. I like to give bitty publishers the benefit of the doubt, but sometimes they won't let me. Alas.

perhaps a month

100) Rosemary's Baby by Ira Levin, finished November 10
099) Batman and Son by Grant Morrison et al, finished November 9
098) The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde, finished November 7
097) Manhunter Vol. 1: Street Justice by Marc Andreyko et al, finished November 4
096) Addicted to War: Why the U.S. Can't Kick Militarism by Joel Andreas, finished November 4
095) Our America: Life And Death On The South Side Of Chicago by by LeAlan Jones and Lloyd Newman with David Isay, finished October 22
094) Will in the World: How Shakespeare Became Shakespeare by Stephen Greenblatt, finished October 21
093) Carrie by Stephen King, finished October 14
092) Barnaby by Crockett Johnson, finished October 9
091) Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson, finished October 8
090) Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, finished October 6
089) The Colorado Kid by Stephen King, finished October 3
088) Mr. White's Confession by Robert Clark, finished October 1
087) Concrete: Fragile Creature by Paul Chadwick, finished September 28
086) Lone Wolf and Cub Vol. 1: The Assassin's Road by Kazuo Koike and Goseki Kojima, finished September 27
085) A Lion and a Lamb by Rand H. Packer, finished September 20
084) What Jesus Meant by Garry Wills, finished September 20
083) The Lost Ones by Steve Niles et al, finished September 18
082) Dorian by Nephi Anderson, finished September 17
081) If You Want to Scare Yourself by Angela Sommer-Bodenburg, translated by Rene Vera Cafiero, with illustrations by Helga Spiess; finished September 12
080) Madman Gargantua by Mike Allred with Laura Allred, finished September 9
079) Star Wars by George Lucas, finished September 9
078) Angel Falling Softly by Eugene Woodbury, finished September 1
077) The Night Listener by Armistead Maupin finished August 29
076) Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck, finished August 25
075) Added Upon by Nephi Anderson, finished August 24
074) The Last Flower by James Thurber, finished August 19
073) Reinventing Comics: How Imagination and Technology Are Revolutionizing an Art Form by Scott McCloud, finished August 17
072) The Trial of Colonel Sweeto and Other Stories by Nicholas Gurewitch, finished August 12
071) The Dreamer by Will Eisner, finished August 12
070) The Blot by Tom Neely, finished August 6
069) Strange Stories for Strange Kids edited by Art Spiegelman and Francoise Mouly, finished August 6
068) Survival Rates by Mary Clyde, finished July 30
067) A Week in October by Elizabeth Subercaseaux, translated by Marina Harss, finished July 29
066) Lehi in the Desert & The World of the Jaredites by Hugh Nibley, Ph. D., finished July 29
065) A Son Is Forever by various, finished July 29
064) Good ol' Snoopy by Charles M. Schultz, finished July 13
063) Embroideries by Marjane Satrapi, finished July 13
062) A Doré Treasury edited by James Stevens, finished July 12?
061) Slaughterhouse-Five or The Children's Crusade: A Duty-Dance with Death by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.; finished July 8
060) The Enoch Letters by Neal A. Maxwell, finished July
059) Sock Monkey: The Inches Incident by Tony Millionaire, finished July 3
058) The Number 73304-23-4153-6-96-8 by Thomas Ott, finished July 2
057) Chicken with Plums by Marjane Satrapi, finished July 1
056) 300 by Frank Miller and Lynn Varley, finished June 16
055) Fox Bunny Funny by Andy Hartzell, finished June 16
054) Where Did I Leave My Glasses?: The What, When, and Why of Normal Memory Loss by Martha Weinman Lear, finished June 15
053) The Mystery Guest by Grégoire Bouillier, trans. Lorin Stein, finished June 14
052) The Legend of Spud Murphy by Eoin Colfer, finished June 10
051) Good Bones and Simple Murders by Margaret Atwood, finished June 10
050) Created in Darkness by Troubled Americans: The Best of McSweeney's, Humor Category edited by D. Eggers, K. Shay, L. Epstein, J. Warner and S. Kleid, finished June 9
049) Bikeman by Thomas F. Flynn, finished June 5
048) Fool Moon by Jim Butcher, finished June 5
047) The Invention of Hugo Cabret by Brian Selznick, finished June 2
046) Sixty Poems by Charles Simic, finished May 30
045) Replay by Ken Grimwood, finished May 28
044) The Age of the Conglomerates: A Novel of the Future by Thomas Nevins, finished May 27
043) W;t by Margaret Edson, finished April 19
042) Halo and Sprocket Volume 1: Welcome to Humanity by Kerry Cullen, finished May 17
041) Storm Front by Jim Butcher, finished May 16
040) 20th Century Ghosts by Joe Hill, finished May 9
039) I Am the President of Ice Cream by Geoff Sebesta, finished May 4
038) On Chesil Beach by Ian McEwan, finished May 3
037) The Meaning of Everything: The Story of the Oxford English Dictionary by Simon Winchester, finished May Day
036) The Drifting Classroom Vol. 1 by Kazuo Umezu, finished April 30
035) The Complete Peanuts 1965 - 1966 by Charles M. Schulz, finished April 29
034) Nextwave: Agents Of H.A.T.E Volume 1: This Is What They Want by Warren Ellis et Stuart Immonen et al, finished April 29
033) Batman: Hush, Vol. 2 by Jeph Loeb et al, finished April 29
032) Batman: Hush, Vol. 1 by Jeph Loeb et al, finished April 28
031) Chéri by Colette, finished April 17
030) Wyrd Sisters by Terry Pratchett, finished April 13
029) Animal Farm by George Orwell, finished April 8
028) Macbeth by William Shakespeare, finished April 7
027) On the Road to Heaven by Coke Newell, finished April 4
026) The Great American Citizenship Quiz: Can You Pass Your Own Country's Citizenship Test? by Solomon M. Skolnick, finished March 23
025) Long After Dark by Todd Robert Petersen, finished March 23
024) The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch, finished March 21
023) Robot Dreams by Sara Varon, finished March 10
022) The Complete Peanuts 1963-1964 by Charles M. Schulz, finished March 9
021) Spoon River Anthology by Edgar Lee Masters, finished March 7
020) Unorthodox Practices by Marissa Piesman, finished March 5
019) Happy Hour at Casa Dracula by Marta Acosta, finished March 4
018) A War of Gifts: An Ender Story by Orson Scott Card, finished Leap Day
017) Watership Down by Richard Adams, finished February 26
016) Old Boy Volume One by Garon Tsuchiya and Nobuaki Minegishi, finished February 25
015) Case Histories by Kate Atkinson, finished February 18
014) Ultimate Spider-Man: Ultimate Collection, Vol. 1 by Brian Michael Bendis and Mark Bagley, finished February 15
013) Trusting Jesus by Jeffrey R. Holland, finished February 11
012) Fables: 1001 Nights of Snowfall by Bill Willingham et al., finished February 11
011) Spook: Science Tackles the Afterlife by Mary Roach, finished February 4
010) The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold, finished February 3
009) American Born Chinese by Gene Luen Yang, finished LDotFMotNY
008) Zombification: Stories from National Public Radio by Andrei Codrescu, finished January 22
007) Marriage Lines: Notes of a Student Husband by Ogden Nash, finished January 22
006) Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen, finished January 20
005) The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time by Douglas Adams, finished January 14
004) Lord of the Flies by William Golding, finished January 10
003) Rising Sun by Michael Crichton, finished January 7
002) The Marketing of Sister B by Linda Hoffman Kimball, finished January 2
001) Animal Farm by George Orwell, finished January 1



The First Five ( 001 / 005 )
The Second Five ( 005 / 010 )
The Third Five ( 011 / 015 )
The Fourth Five ( 016 / 020 )
The Fifth Five ( 021 / 025 )
The Sixth Five ( 026 / 030 )
The Seventh Five ( 031 / 035 )
The Eighth Five ( 036 / 040 )
The Ninth Five ( 041 / 045 )
The Tenth Five ( 046 / 050)
The Eleventh Five ( 051 / 055)
The Twelfth Five ( 056 / 060)
The Thirteenth Five ( 061 / 065)
The Fourteenth Five ( 066 / 070)
The Fifteenth Five ( 071 / 075)
The Sixteenth Five ( 076 / 080)
The Seventeenth Five ( 081 / 085)
The Eighteenth Five ( 086 / 090)
The Nineteenth Five ( 091 / 095)
The Twentieth Five ( 091 / 095)