1. Why wouldn't birds suddenly appear everytime you are near?
2. In that case, would you say you love me for a billion dollars?
3. Are you going to add Sarah Vowell's Assassination Vacation to your Amazon Wish List?
4. Speaking of, what do you think of Thamazon.com, for after the corporate takeover?
5. Don't you mean life liberty and the pursuit of sweet Alaskan oil?
6. What the heckety heck heck heck?
7. Well which would you prefer--killing babies or a black & tan with extra caramel sauce?
8. My way or the mafia way?
9. Is there anything hotter than a chick bass player?
10. How about seventeen baguettes?
11. Would you like to lick my dog's eyeballs?
12. I'm sorry, were you shooting at me?
13. C'mon baby, don't tell me you wouldn't like one night with the Scallion Stallion, king of the wharves?
14. Um ... this monkey?
I hereby declare a blogger's dozen to be 14. *