Now that we own a 1999 Taurus in addition to out 20-year-old Accord, bless its soul, I carry a fob in my pocket of the sort that shoots out invisible space rays and locks/unlocks doors, pops trunks and makes a racket.
It didn't take me long to realize that I did not have to remove the fob from my pocket to unlock the doors and that not doing so would save me literally dozens of calories a year.
And so now I leave my hands in the warm cavity of my pockets and unlock the car doors.
I try not to think about the fact that if my car radio can pick up a station nine car-hours away, those same radio waves are piercing my body day and night. As well as the waves from every yahoo's cell phone. To say nothing of those evil microwave ovens.
And now I am polluting the world with more waves--and mere inches from my reproductive organs?
What sort of child may #2 be if my testes are fully foberrated?
Ah, to be a Neanderthal! And to worry about nothing more than proper club maintenance!
It's a dangerous world for the modern man, I tell you. Dangerous for him and his children.