Thmazing's Thutopia

2024-10-16

Music for little girls of taste and culture

The 7yrold’s new second-grade teacher is collecting one song from each kid to build a class playlist. Perhaps because it’s what Lady Steed’s been listening to recently, Lil 7 started generating a list of Taylor Swift songs.

Lady Steed didn’t think “Bad Blood” was a terrific choice given the song’s destination and was able to get her to consider “Shake It Off” instead.

(Incidentally, “Shake It Off” is the first Taylor Swift song that managed to crack through my ignorance and make me hear it while it was still new.)

Anyway, when Lil 7 proposed Miley Cirus’s “Party in the U.S.A.” (learned from friends, natch), Lady Steed realized that she might end up choosing a song that other kids in the class would also choose. And who wants to be redundant?

Ergo, this conversation:

LS: What about something by They Might Be Giants? Do you like any of their songs?

L7: Yes! I like “Whistling in the Dark” and the one about crazy garbage!

LS: . . . Do you mean the one that goes, “I built a little empire out of some crazy garbage called the blood of the exploited working class”?

L7: Yes, I LOVE that song.

Um.

Lady Steed, in the end, decided to persuade her to do “Whistling in the Dark.”

Which, honestly, also . . . anyway this was a month ago and no parents have complained yet.

She’s considering “Older Every Day” should there be a second playlist.

(Update since I originally wrote this—she’s now decided on another TMBG song should there be another list. And it’s much more appropriate.)

Incidentally, as we have an election coming up, I’ve been meaning to make a music video for “Kiss Me, Son of God” with Trump clips but . . . it’s hard to spend that much time with Trump clips.

And, as you can see, there are no more videos in this post.

2024-10-15

One for the locals
(Caro for CC Board of Education)

First, other than giving his campaign fifty bucks and planning to vote for him, I'm not associated with Anthony Caro's campaign.

This is Anthony Caro candidate for Contra Costa County's Board of Education:

Speaking as a person tragically and suddenly deep into middle-age, Caro is young. And he really wants to do political things. This isn't a pro or con, just something to note.

Anyway, I represent my colleagues as a rep on our union's rep council, which is sort of like being a representative sent to the House. And yes, I voted to endorse Caro—and endorse him we have.

And while Caro's a good kid with the right intentions, I'll admit that a vote for him is just as much a vote against county superintendent Lynn Mackey

If you're local, you well know that our school district is famously bad at money. But this badness is enabled by Lynn Mackey.

Consider!

WCCUSD is require by state law to put 55% of its "current cost of education" into classroom compensation. Last year, it only spent 52.36%—$11,391,200 less that 55%—which is a lot of money. ("Current cost of education," incidentally, includes teacher and aide salaries/benefits. And we are having a desperately difficult time keeping educators.)

WCCUSD has fallen short of this legal requirement four years running. How?? one might reasonably ask.

Because Superintendent Mackey gives the district a waiver year after year after year.

Incidentally, and this is fun, school districts in California are only legally required to tell the truth about how much money they have once a year. The rest of the time, they talk about "projections" which can basically be whatever they want.

My favorite example of how this works in practice is from a couple years ago when I was trying to get the new Norton of English poetry for my AP Lit classes. That year, WCCUSD projected $75,000,000 for textbooks and other classroom supplies (like science labs). That money was sacred and couldn't be moved to any other line item. But $75,000,000 didn't go as far as you might expect. Not enough for my Nortons, for instance.

But in the report where they had to tell the truth? They'd spent $16,000,000 on textbooks etc. I know the Nortons are expensive, but $75,000,000 – $16,000,000 is still a lot > 150 Nortons. A lot >.

Anyway, Mackey currently has a 3–2 majority on the board and voting for Cato helps fix that problem.

So vote for Cato.

Hey! Do you want more funny money facts?

A lot has been made of the teachers getting a raise the last couple years.

HOWEVER,

as you can see, although we are getting paid more dollars, as a percentage of WCCUSD's entire budget, we are less and less and less:

Anyway, there are lots more fun graphs out there showing the nonsense of WCCUSD's money management, but the important thing here is that Mackey enables this malfeasance and we can't vote her out until 2026.

So this election, what we can do, it break up her board majority and deny her the power to do whatever she wants. Like screw WCCUSD.

Vote Caro for Board.

2024-10-05

The end of one century and the beginning of another

Honestly, are they that different? Sexy Iraq vet trapped in the Nevada desert versus sexy Sicilian princess trapped in the Bohemian sheeplands? Six of one, am I right?

100) Motor Girl: Real Life by Terry Moore, finished October 2

I love Terry Moore. And not just because he's skilled at drawing beautiful women. Although no question he is, though they aren't just pin-ups—they are living breathing humans with particular ways of standing and moving their eyebrows and speaking to others. They are real people.

And it's not just pretty girls, either. All his people have personality and realism or, alternatively, cartoonishly chaotical qualities. Both of which are great.

Our hero in this story is an ex-Marine who was held and tortured in an Iraqi prison. She may be an excellent mechanic and able to deal with 112-degree heat, but her grasp on reality is weak (he costar is an imaginary gorilla) and she is not great with other people.

Also, there are aliens and a government conspiracy and such.

This is just the first volume—I picked it up cheap from a Fantastic Comics sidewalk sale—and now I'm obliged to read the rest.

Of course, eventually I will need to find Moore's alleged masterpiece, Strangers in Paradise—I saw a couple enormous volumes for cheap at Comic-Con but, well, a guy's got to start at the beginning, you know?

And first, he's got to finish Motor Girl.

two days

101) The Winter's Tale by William Shakespeare, finished October 5

Shakespeare's kind of a little weirdo.

Curious how the only person to truly die was a child.

Also interesting how correct the Delphic Oracle is.

And how many years pass.

And its fairy tale certainty that princesses are born physically beautiful and perfect in etiquette and nothing can hide that.

And the amazing efficacy of a simple disguise.

I mean—was Shakespeare face blind??

(If you must be a Shakespeare-themed Conspiracy Theorist, consider this one. After all, consider what Tybalt says: "This, by his voice, should be a Montague.")

one day

===========================================================

2024 × 10 = Bette Davis being Bette Davis

001) Zita the Spacegirl by Ben Hatke, finished January 1
002) The Complete Peanuts: 1977 – 1978 by Charles M. Schulz , finished January 6
003) The Sandman: The Kindly Ones by Neil Gaiman et al, finished January 10
004) Zita the Spacegirl by Ben Hatke, finished January 17
005) Touched by Walter Mosley, finished January 19
006) Opposable Thumbs: How Siskel & Ebert Changed Movies Forever by Matt Singer, finished January 20
007) Evergreen Ape: The Story of Bigfoot by David Norman Lewis, finished January 24
008) What Falls Away by Karin Anderson, finished February 1
009) Peanuts Jubilee: My Life and Art with Charlie Brown and Others by Charles M. Schulz, finished February 3
010) Legends of Zita the Spacegirl by Ben Hatke, finished February 3

A few of my favorite things

011) Roaming by Jillian Tamaki and Mariko Tamaki, finished February 3
012) The Return of Zita the Spacegirl by Ben Hatke, February 9
013) Things in the Basement by Ben Hatke, February 10
014) A Charlie Brown Religion: Exploring the Spiritual Life and Work of Charles M. Schulz by Stephen J. Lind, finished February 10
015) 1st Nephi: A Brief Theological Introduction by Joseph M. Spencer, finished February 10
016) Dendo by Brittany Long Olsen, finished February 11
017) The Ten Winners of the 2023 Whiting Awards, finished February 12
018) The Peanuts Papers: Writers and Cartoonists on Charlie Brown, Snoopy & the Gang, and the Meaning of Life edited by Andrew Blaune, finished February 17
019) Do Not Disturb Any Further by John Callahan, finished February 17
020) Mighty Jack by Ben Hatke, finished circa February 19
021) 2nd Nephi: A Brief Theological Introduction by Terryl Givens, February 24

Let's start with the untimely deaths

022) The Life and Death of King John by William Shakespeare, finished February 28
022) Mighty Jack and the Goblin King by Ben Hatke, finished February 29
023) Chronicle of a Death Foretold by Gabriel García Márquez, finished March 4
024) Millay by Edna St. Vincent Millay, finished March
025, 026) The Life and Death of King John by William Shakespeare, finished March 6, 8
027) Murder Book by Hilary Fitzgerald Campbell, finished March 11
028) A Canticle for Leibowitz by Walter M. Miller, Jr.
029) The Last Hero by Terry Pratchett and Paul Kidby, finished March 15
030) Karen's Roller Skates by Ann M. Martin and Katy Farina, finished March 18

Four comics could hardly be more different

031) The Sandman: The Wake by Neil Gaiman et al, finished March 18
032) The World of Edena by Mœbius, finished March 23
033) Three Rocks: The Story of Ernie Bushmiller, the Man Who Created Nancy by Bill Griffith, finished March 23
034) Mighty Jack and Zita the Spacegirl by Ben Hatke, finished March 23

Jacob says be nice and read comics

035) Jacob: A Brief Theological Introduction by Deidre Nicole Green, finished March 24
036) Starter Villain by John Scalzi, finished March 27
037) Mister Invincible: Local Hero by Pascal Jousselin, finished March 30
038) The Toon Treasury of Classic Children's Comics, edited by Art Spiegelman and Francoise Mouly, finished March 30
039) Harley Quinn: Breaking Glass by Mariko Tamaki and Steve Pugh, finished April 1
040) The Super Hero's Journey by Patrick McDonnell, finished April 5

Eleven books closer to death

041) The Stranger Beside Me: Updated Twentieth Anniversary Edition by Ann Rule, finished April 9
042) Huda F Are You? by Huda Fahmy, finished April 13
043) Enos, Jarom, Omni: a brief theological introduction by Sharon J. Harris, finished April 25
044) The Orphan Master's Son by Adam Johnson, finished April 27
045,046,049) The Mysteries by Bill Watterson and John Kascht, finished April 29, 30; May 3
047) The Children's Bach by Helen Garner, finished April 30
048) No. 1 with a Bullet by Sehman/Corona/Hickman/Wands, finished May 2
050) Over Seventy by P. G. Wodehouse, finished May 7
051) The Happy Shop by Brittany Long Olsen, finished May 16
052) Shades of Fear, finished May 21
053) Love Poems in Quarantine by Sarah Ruhl, finished May 21

And a vibrator makes it five dozen.....

054) The English Understand Wool by Helen DeWitt, finished May 25
055) Mosiah: A Brief Theological Introduction by James E. Faulconer, finished May 26
056) Lives of the Monster Dogs by Kirstin Bakis
057) 100 Essays I Don't Have Time to Write: On Umbrellas and Sword Fights, Parades and Dogs, Fire Alarms, Children, and Theater by Sarah Ruhl, finished June 1
058) Our Malady: Lessons in Liberty from a Hospital Diary by Timothy Snyder, finished June 4
059) Dead Man's Cell Phone by Sarah Ruhl, finished June 6
060) The Next Room, or the vibrator play by Sarah Ruhl, finished June 8

And with Ursula, 69

061) The Robber Bridegroom by Eudora Welty, finished June 10
062) Blood of the Virgin by Sammy Harkham, finished June 11
063) Mulysses by Øyvind Torseter, finished June 11
064) Between the River and the Bridge by Craig Ferguson, finished June 12
065) Cranky Chicken by Katherine Battersby, finished June 12
066) Mile End Kids Stories by Isabelle Arsenault, finished June 12
067) Tiny Titans: Field Trippin' by author, finished June 14
068) Brief Theological Introductions: Alma 1–29 by Kylie Nielson Turley, finished June 16
069) Words Are My Matter: Writings on Life and Books by Ursula K. Le Guin, finished June 16

Numbers 70 through 75

070) Better Living Through Criticism: How to Think about Art, Pleasure, Beauty, and Truth by A. O. Scott, finished June 17
071) Alice, Let's Eat by Calvin Trillin, finished June 20
072) My Lovely Vigil Keeping by Carla Kelly, finished June 21
073) Dreamsnake by Vonda N. McIntyre, finished July 9
074) The Red House Mystery by A. A. Milne, finished July 11
075) Best. Movie. Year. Ever. How 1999 Blew Up the Big Screen by Brian Raftery, finished July 16

Comics soup and rice

076) I Survived the Attacks of September 11, 2001 by Lauren Tarshis and Corey Egbert (et al), finished July 16
077) Skull Cat and the Curious Castle by Norman Shurtliff, finished July 18
078) Epileptic by David B., finished July 19
079) Amethyst: Princess of Gemworld by Shannon and Dean Hale, and Asiah Fulmore; finished July 30
080) Fadeaway by E. B. Vickers, finished August 2
081) You're Dad by Liz Climo, finished August 4
082) Meanwhile...A Comic Shop Anthology, finished August 5

Lobsters are vermin you eat

084) Lobster Is the Best Medicine by Liz Climo, finished August 7
085) Lunar New Year Love Story by Gene Luen Yang and Leuyen Pham, finished August 12
086) Alma 30–63: A Brief Theological Introduction by Mark A. Wrathall, finished August 18
087) The Pearl by John Steinbeck, August 20
088) The Woman in the Woods and Other North American Stories, finished August 20
089) Our Lady of Darkness by Fritz Leiber, finished August 23
090) Radiant Vermin by Philip Ridley

Six books closer to the end of all things.

091) After the Blast by Zoe Kazan, finished August 30
092) The Nether by Jennifer Haley, finished August 31
093) Mr Burns, a post-electric play by Anne Washburn, finished August 31
094) The Voynich Manuscript ed. by Raymond Clemens, finished September 4
095) Brass Sun by Ian Edgington and I. N. J. Culbard, finished September 5
096) Termush by Sven Holm, finished September 7

Ally Condie kills it (+2 more)

097) The Unwedding by Ally Condie, finished September 13
098) Enola Holmes: The Case of the Missing Marquess by Nancy Springer, finished September 18
099) Helaman: A Brief Theological Introduction by Kimberly Matheson Berkey, finished September 21

2024-09-30

September's mini filmery

.

Did not see a lot of movies this month but we started with The Apple Dumpling Gang and ended with Megalopolis so hoogolly did we cover some ground!

.

HOME
Disney+

The Apple Dumpling Gang (1975)

For reasons I do not know, the 15yrold wanted to watch an '60s/70s live-action Disney movie and the 7yrold really wanted to watch this one. So we did.

It's not that bad. But it is kinda dumb.

This was one of the two or three movies my elementary school owned and so I saw it kinda regularly. That and Pete's Dragon. (And maybe Watcher in the Woods? Is that where that sense of terror was born?)

Anyway, the great thing about these movies is their lean into slapstick. More live-action for-families movies need to do that. Who is our Tim Conway? Who is our Don Knotts?

HOME
Link+ dvd

Out of Sight (1998)

We just watched The Limey and so it seemed necessary to take a step back to Soderbergh's previous film, his career resurrector, the more loved Out of Sight. And it was pretty great. Hard to guess where this one is going. But holy smokes does it provide a blueprint for both Limey and Ocean's 11, the two that follow it. The chronology is very Limey; much of the visuals and music and even specific lines show up later in Ocean's. But it has the darkness of Limey but bit of the brightness that comes in Ocean's. It's like the badness of the badguys got laundered to create Danny Ocean and crew so we didn't have to stress so much about rooting for them.

Anyway. I guess it's a trilogy.

HOME
Peacock

Good One: A Show about Jokes (2024)

This is a nice look inside someone's creative process but it's just about the first couple weeks of a years-long process, and so it necessarily feels incomplete.

I get that's probably part of the point, that process IS the point. And, as a creator myself, I do appreciate that. But it probably doesn't make for a beloved classic.

On the other hand, while it's long enough to qualify for this list, it's half the length of a normal on-the-short-side feature. So who can complain?

ELSEWHERE/HOME
Peacock

Monkey Man (2024)

I dunno, man. There's a lot of interesting ideas in here and cool shots and so forth. But it's so, so violent. And some of the stuff that happens are just because it looks cool or because the trope demands it.

I remember reading a review that said this is one of those first movies where the filmmaker is trying to cram in every idea he has—just in case. And it does feel like that.

But Dev Patel is as great on screen as he always is. And, you know what? I hope he gets to make aother all his own. I'd like to see what he can do now that #1's out of the way.

ELSEWHERE
Peacock

Abigail (2024)

It had a couple plot and rule holes but nothing egregious. Would have been fun to watch with an audience. Bummed I didn't get to the theater in time.

I did like some of the character actors quite a bit and some of the twists were solid.

But it's all a little weirder, maybe, when the monster looks uncannily similar to a little girl I once new....

HOME
Peacock

Addicted to Fresno (2015)

Terrific cast doing good work and not as bad as I'd been led to expect but, honestly, it doesn't quite work. Is it script? Is it direction? Is it editing? I mean, yeah, probably. But film is alchemy.

Perhaps Steven Soderbergh could have had one of his magical afternoons and reedited it into a hit. Or maybe this is just as good as this material can be. Hard to say.

THEATER
Cinemark Century
Hilltop 16

Megalopolis (2024)

First, this movie isn't nearly as bizarre as I'd been led to expect. It's a weird movie, sure, but I've seen weirder. And weird that worked better. The Tree of Life and The Meaning of Life jump to mind. And those works, like Megalopolis, are largely sprung from a single intelligence. But those works are coherent in a way Megalopolis is not.

But I should rush to point out that Megalopolis is barely a story. It's more a collection of symbols arranged in deliberate fashion. It is compiled of multiple sources. I heard multiple Shakespeare references beyond the entirety of Hamlet's fourth soliloquy and more than one person is quoted explicitly, including Marcus Aurelius three times in a row. I almost missed it, but there was a section in the credits for sourced writers that also included Plato and Shaw and Wilder (who's done weird things himself). I'd love to see the whole list, but I'm not sure it's online yet.

The main flaw of the film, however, is its uncertainty. It's subtitled A FABLE and early on tells us that this story will tell how society's collapse when powerful men only strive to retain power. But the end of the film is all about the right powerful man retaining power and the rest either surrendering to him or getting lynched by the mob they sought to control. He, of course, is the artist. So, yeah. This is a film by a powerful artist about how only powerful artists should get to decide how we live. We've been here before.

There are other issues like this, but they tend to share root in Coppola not being 100% comfortable letting his symbols stand on their own. He wants to be sure the Most Important ones are clear. But that turns the audience from individual interpreters into a congregation. Which now how this sort of film achieves greatness.

5.1 Open Questions, an intro to season 5

To start with the subtitle, it’s hard to say. Here’s an hourlong detour, if you desire such:

Anyway, we’ll come back to the doctrine question. First, I need to talk about paranoia. Perhaps, in an almost-connection, by quoting the title of an article by LDSish author Walter Kirn: “If You’re Not Paranoid, You’re Crazy.”

Joking aside, I recognize there are alternate (slash more-reasonable explanations) for some of what I’m going to say, but let’s pretend I’m a great counterculture revolutionary with a target on my back, even if this pretending is absurd.

Anyway, one thing that is true is that my ward has been told explicitly that Salt Lake has their eyes on us. Not because we’ve done anything “bad” but because, how to put this, we are ahead of the revelatory curve?

We were doing this thing that was carefully designed to be Handbook-compliant and then, as happens these days, the Handbook was changed without notice and, without intention, we were now doing wrong. And things turned . . . unpleasant.

Anyway, choosing to be paranoid, some of the recent changes to the Handbook as regards transgender folks may thus be my fault?

But this gets to the question of doctrine and just what is and what is not and what that even means. Which I’m not going to get into, but I will comfortably argue that some things are more doctrine than other things. For instance, the canon. Even though we only believe the Gospel of Matthew as far as it’s been translated correctly, it’s still canon and thus trumps, say, a Conference talk from 1968. No knock on President McKay, that’s just a core understanding Latter-day Saints have re doctrine.

Which is part of the reason we regularly hear rumors of The Procamation on the Family—which gets lots of attention—being canonized. Because, you know, it’s so important. And so maybe it should stay top-of-mind? In a way proclamations don’t always?

But this Proclamation is also kind of controversial (which I suspect is a mark against canonizing it), and not in totally consistent ways. For instance, in countries like the U.S., it’s considered conservative, perhaps even a bit reactionary. Yet, as I learned from the late Melissa Inouye, in other parts of the world, say an LDS congregation in sub-Saharan Africa, the Proclamation is liberal, even radical. You mean men and women are equal? I have to treat my wife as a partner? And this has led to what those U.S.-based naysayers should consider good outcomes.

But it can also be controversial in other ways. It didn’t take long for people to realize that Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose can very easily be interpreted in favor of the transgender community’s claims for themselves. The general assumption is that this was not the intention, but—words are as words do.

And this is where I get to be paranoid again. See, just over a year ago, the second of the first two published Mormon Socrates dialogues (note that this pdf has a couple typos that do not appear in the final published version) showed through the persuasive power of f*i*c*t*i*o*n just how a faithful Latter-day Saint could interpret the Proclamation as being supportive of how transgender folk understand themselves.

And what happened next?

The Handbook decided to say this:

Gender is an essential characteristic in Heavenly Father’s plan of happiness (see Genesis 1:27). The intended meaning of gender in “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” is biological sex at birth. (For those whose biological sex is not clear at birth, see 38.7.7.)

Of course, all scripture requires interpretation in order to be understood. But this seems . . . desperate? It’s not a particularly elegent exegesis.

I don’t want to come off cocky, but Mormon Socrates makes more sense (skip to 10:18).

I mean. That parenthetical seems like an honest admission that we can’t really know these things!

Being a Latter-day Saint well demands combining a belief in ongoing (and true) revelation with a constant grasping for humility (link to literally any Face in Hat episode here). It’s not easy. It’s not easy at the individual, ward, stake, area, or church levels. And we should give each other grace.

And we must also harvest what we sow.

2024-09-21

Ally Condie kills it (+2 more)

097) The Unwedding by Ally Condie, finished September 13

A popular YA novelist decides to write a mystery for grown-ups. I feel like we've heard this story before. And it sounds like a crass moneygrab, no matter how well done.

And, you know, maybe.

But don't say that about this novel.

I'll admit that for most of its runtime, it seemed like a pretty typical pop mystery. A middle-aged woman is slapped into mysterious circumstances as she finds one body then someone finds another. She and her two quirky friends start asking questions. Etc etc.

And the flashbacks of a previous happenstance seem, at best, par deepening.

But then the novel ends and we get a long explanation of how the figuring out happens.

But: that is not the end of the novel.

In fact, to this point, our author has been building up her stacks of items only to now turn them and we realize what else is in front of us.

About half way through the novel I read one of the backcover blurbs and rolled my eyes at the book being, besides a thriller, "an exquisite meditation on grief and loss." I mean. Some thematically relevant flashbacks aren't making that so.

But that was before the novel stood and turned itself, revealing the hummingbird that was there all along.

It's quite the moving achievement.

a week

098) Enola Holmes: The Case of the Missing Marquess by Nancy Springer, finished September 18

I found this in a Little Free Library and grabbed it because I keep hearing about how great the movies are. If I had Netflix, I wager I would have watched them by now. So I figured, why not try the book?

And it was great. It's now one of my favorites mysteries-for-kids. Which is terrible timing because I was planning on cutting myself off from the library I can focus on the books we own . . . but now I want the second Enola book!

One thing I like, as a Holmes fan, is how Enola is quite her own person yet she is very much of her family. She has things in common with Mycroft and Sherlock, but the age difference, the lack of contact, and society's sexual structures have resulted in her being very, very apart. It's great.

From the couple stills I had seen of the movies, I'd assumed Enola and Sherlock would be on grand adventures. And maybe that is true in the movies or the later books, but in book one? Ah ah ah! Not at all. I wouldn't go so far as to call them antagonists, but their goals certainly are. There is one moment that gives us hope they may later share adventures but that day is not today.

Anyway. Springer did a great job adding to the mythology. Loved it.

maybe a week or two

099) Helaman: A Brief Theological Introduction by Kimberly Matheson Berkey, finished September 21

"Our reading of the book of Helaman leaves us with an inescapable conclusion: you and I are wrong. Profoundly, devastatingly wrong about a great many things—many of them quite important."

This is perhaps the most straightforward summary of this book's theme. And it says it and demonstrates it over and over again as it explores Helaman.

And I'll tell you: I am convinced.

We are, almost certainly, profoundly and devastatingly wrong about a great many things.

Let's find some humility and try harder to be Christians.

a month

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2024 × 10 = Bette Davis being Bette Davis

A few of my favorite things

Let's start with the untimely deaths

Four comics could hardly be more different

Jacob says be nice and read comics

Eleven books closer to death

And a vibrator makes it five dozen.....

2024-09-14

Using fiction to explore the unpleasant
(and I'm not talking about eating the flesh
of George Clooney)

Though I could talk about eating the flesh of George Clooney. The story now titled “The Price of Meat” started life as a jokey little near-future noir to be called “Celebrity Meat” (still a great title and I should still write that story someday). But it spun out and away from the fun idea of illicit lab meat and became something much longer and much darker.

Anyway, it’s available to preorder now, if you’re already talked into it and don’t need to read more:

(I believe it will also be available on paper, but for some reason, preorder is currently Kindle only. This is a dark future indeed.)

Once it was written, it was hard to find a place to submit this story, let alone sell it. Here’s one response I got from an editorial team who asked to see the story post-query:

Thank you again for submitting '[previous title]' for consideration by [publication]. The editors have read this work and after some discussion we have decided not to take it for publication. As you suspected, it ended up just being a bit too explicit and the subject matter a bit too unpleasant for our tastes. This is a shame, because otherwise this might have been the sort of story we would have been looking for, and your writing is excellent. I do hope you'll consider sending us more of your work some time. We'd like to thank you again for thinking of us with this piece, and wish you the very best with your writing in the future.

Which is nice. But further proof I had a story likely to live in a drawer the rest of my life.

I don’t want to give away too much of the plot, but I should say that, while it never appears on screen (so to speak), “The Price of Meat” ends up being an investigation into not just Clooney steaks, but into the monetized sexual abuse of children.

(I recently read someone else grapping with this question.)

I hope readers will agree I take the topic seriously but, then again, once a book exists, you can’t control what happens next. Let me note to the world that I am a proud mandated reporter.

When I was in high school, my younger brother and I wrote and illustrated an ABC book of dinosaurs. And a friend and I plotted out a series of potential picture books to synergize our fledgling videogame company.

I went down to the library and checked out the latest available printing of The Children's Writer's & Illustrator's Market (which I believe no longer exists as of 2022). I wrote up a query letter, and sent it off to maybe half a dozen companies that seemed like they should be interested.

In return, I got some nice little packets of submission instructions, a couple ignorals and—

I also received something I never should have received.

I don’t remember all the details of what was in there.

Do you remember that 90s meme of a duck hitting a computer with a hammer that was faxed from office to office? That cartoon was there, only the duck was now wearing a wig and labeled “Hillary Duck.” Hillaryous.

There was another cartoon. Not particularly well drawn. Of a middle-aged man, bearded, surrounded by happy and naked prepubescent girls. The caption was something like “Protect our abusers!” and, as you might imagine, it stopped me cold.

The rest of the packet was photocopies of photocopies of prose. I don’t remember them in detail but it was a mix of weird-uncle stuff you still see on Facebook—complaints about the economy and politics . . . and how lame it is that people get mad when you abuse children.

I wasn’t sure what to do. I thought I should probably take it to my local post office? Isn’t this is the postmaster’s job?

I bounced the question off my friend. He felt we shouldn’t get ourselves involved. We needed an adult to take care of it. His dad worked with foster kids; surely he would know what to do? In the end, my friend gave the full packet to his dad and I’ve not heard about it since.

But that doesn’t mean the actual problem has gone away.

I’ve already upset you enough. I’ll talk a little more about my story after the break, but if you want to skip the worst of this post, please do.

We don’t really know how common pedophilia is. And we’re not quite certain how much choice pedophiles have over their feelings and behavior. I’m not going to speak to those questions. But I will observe that a) children are generally safe and we can worry less than we do, but b) life is long and the world is wide and danger does exist.

I once met a proud pedophile (though he had not yet been caught and thus was not yet admitting to anything). He lived here one summer for a summer job with his new wife. They were barely in town on weekends and his wife was much the chattier of the two. Honestly, I’m not sure I actually remember him at all, even though I know they were together when I spoke to her.

Anyway, three summers later the news broke: he’d been arrested.

(Actually, the news broke two years later, but it was another year before anyone here heard about it.)

A later version of the story includes this horrifying excerpt that has haunted me ever since:

[He] told police he had sexually abused numerous children and young female relatives younger than 6 years old.

"{He] liked this age because he thought if they were younger than 5 or 6, then they would not remember what was happening," according to the probable cause statement.

It is hard for me to imagine a more straightforward depiction of evil.

I wrote the rough draft of “The Price of Meat” between meeting this person and learning of his actions. I suppose it’s “fun” to imagine I sensed it on some level, but I doubt that very much.

The title “Celebrity Meat” didn’t survive long. Since my hero’s a cop, I used “To Serve and Protect”* for a while (“serve” serving as a vestigial restaurant pun). I also tried “F*****g H**l,” after some final-page wordplay most readers will just find confusing. “To Serve Me” got it’s shot.

I did figure out the perfect title, once, but didn’t write it down. This will haunt me forever.

I found that perfect title doing one more full pass. But, even if the title would rereveal itself, I’ve never wanted to do another. While I stand by my novella as a solid piece of entertainment and a serious-minded commentary on serious stuff, the subject matter is such that it’s unlikely to be anyone’s favorite reread.

I first submitted it in 2016 (a year after my other meat-in-the-title fiction appeared), but I’ve had a hard time finding places to even send it since. This was only it’s fifth time out of the house. So I’m grateful to Dragon Soul to giving it a home.

I don’t know what else is in Malice, but I think you should expect more darkness. Hopefully just as entertaining as mine. But maybe starring more tasteful crimes . . . like arson. Or murder.

Anyway. That’s “The Price of Meat.” On September, 30th, discover a hero who finds a problem that must be solved now.

In the meantime, let me advertize with an excerpt that makes it just sound fun:

2024-09-07

Six books closer to the end of all things.

First, kaboom.
Then, ew.
Then, tzzzzzt.
Then, huh.
Then, hmm.
Then, yawn

091) After the Blast by Zoe Kazan, finished August 30

My search for the perfect dystopia play continues, this time with a play that is not only excellent but makes sense for the classroom. (play the first)

Little things make a difference when translating a play into the classroom. For instance, this one has scenes. Excellent. I really like the text to have clear places to pause. That's helpful.

This one deals with a lot of issues today's kids care about (eg, the environment, tech invading our minds, etc) without much preaching. And I think it will spur positive disagreement in the classroom, which is always good.

I have to apply for the relevant grant this weekend, so if I don't make it through the other two plays by then (it'll be tight), we have a winner.

(Read the first few pages here.)

one day

092) The Nether by Jennifer Haley, finished August 31

This play took a while to really start working but boy does it work. But no way am I picking it. It deals with the intersection of pedophilia and onlineness and it's just not something teenagers are capable of dealing with. And even if they were, I wouldn't ask them to.

The play is literature so it's not making a case, but I think the likely takeaway of a simple read is that we should let pedophiles do anything they want virtually so real children stay safe. I've heard worse arguments, but I don't need that becoming dinner-table conversation. That will do none of us favors.

The play does cool things with chronology and dives into this icky stuff in ways I've never seen before. The production notes make a casting suggestion for a chilling reason.

Anyway, three down, one to go.

I can't find sample pages, but surprisingly the entire thing is on IA.

forty-five minutes into a second day

093) Mr Burns, a post-electric play by Anne Washburn, finished August 31

This one is more postapocalyptic than dystopian, but that's just one reason it's out. The crosstalk and naturalistic dialogue would be hard to pull off in class.

The story takes place shortly after the apocalypse as characters sit around a campfire trying to remember an episode of The Simpsons and ends a couple generations later as that episode is reperformed, having evolved into something like a passion play.

Conceptually, very cool. And I can see this working well on stage. But on the page? With people lacking experience in reading plays? Nah. Bad choice.

Again, no sample pages but yes the whole darn thing.

one day

094) The Voynich Manuscript ed. by Raymond Clemens, finished September 4

After reading a recent article in The Atlantic about the famous manuscript, I followed its advice and found a copy of this book. It's weird to say I "read" this book when most of the pages are a reproduction of a book NO ONE can read, but I turned all the pages and then I read all the scholarly essays that made up its final signatures.

The manuscript itself? Very cool

The essays? Interesting.

The mystery? Barely touched upon.

I'm not sure I ever want it solved. It's good for uncertainty to remain in this world. We moderns are a little to confident in our own knowing, don't you think?

almost three weeks

095) Brass Sun by Ian Edgington and I. N. J. Culbard, finished September 5

I read the first lil comic book in this series and liked it so much I had to find this collection. Unfortunately, the strength of the work peter out as time goes on. Up top, we're introduced to a fascinating world with a fascinating (and fittingly metaphorical) problem: this solar system is actual literal clockwork—and it's winding down. And unless our hero can figure out how to wind it back up, it will come to a stop. Life is already freezing to death, planet by planet, and their sun cools down.

The set up for adventure puts a young woman in charge of saving everything for reasons that are far from logical but exciting enough it's easy not to notice until much much later when the book starts collapsing under the weight of it's own worldbuilding, when long sections are just people giving exposition forcing us to admit how dang cool the worldbuilding is and how much effort the writer put into doing it. Story falls by the wayside.

A similar thing happens with the art. The backgrounds and robots and monsters are cool. But the main characters can be difficult to tell apart in some angles.

Anyway, it's very cool, but I doubt we'll be talking about it in twenty years.

a couple weeks

096) Termush by Sven Holm, finished September 7

This is a postapocalyptic Danish novel that juuuust breaks a hundred pages and barely has enough to fill them. It's more of a long short story than even a novella, really. I was considering it for the dystopian-novel list I use in AP Lit but there aren't sufficient dystopian elements and what's there? Hard to tell what's going on. It's a very slight book. Students would be flummoxed by it, I suspect.

about a week

===========================================================

2024 × 10 = Bette Davis being Bette Davis

A few of my favorite things

Let's start with the untimely deaths

Four comics could hardly be more different

Jacob says be nice and read comics

Eleven books closer to death

And a vibrator makes it five dozen.....

Numbers 70 through 75
070) Better Living Through Criticism: How to Think about Art, Pleasure, Beauty, and Truth by A. O. Scott, finished June 17
071) Alice, Let's Eat by Calvin Trillin, finished June 20
072) My Lovely Vigil Keeping by Carla Kelly, finished June 21
073) Dreamsnake by Vonda N. McIntyre, finished July 9
074) The Red House Mystery by A. A. Milne, finished July 11
075) Best. Movie. Year. Ever. How 1999 Blew Up the Big Screen by Brian Raftery, finished July 16

Comics soup and rice
076) I Survived the Attacks of September 11, 2001 by Lauren Tarshis and Corey Egbert (et al), finished July 16
077) Skull Cat and the Curious Castle by Norman Shurtliff, finished July 18
078) Epileptic by David B., finished July 19
079) Amethyst: Princess of Gemworld by Shannon and Dean Hale, and Asiah Fulmore; finished July 30
080) Fadeaway by E. B. Vickers, finished August 2
081) You're Dad by Liz Climo, finished August 4
082) Meanwhile...A Comic Shop Anthology, finished August 5

Lobsters are vermin you eat
084) Lobster Is the Best Medicine by Liz Climo, finished August 7
085) Lunar New Year Love Story by Gene Luen Yang and Leuyen Pham, finished August 12
086) Alma 30–63: A Brief Theological Introduction by Mark A. Wrathall, finished August 18
087) The Pearl by John Steinbeck, August 20
088) The Woman in the Woods and Other North American Stories, finished August 20
089) Our Lady of Darkness by Fritz Leiber, finished August 23
090) Radiant Vermin by Philip Ridley

2024-10-16

2024-10-15

2024-10-05

2024-09-30

2024-09-27

2024-09-21

2024-09-14

2024-09-07