Misnomered wood grain

.



Zebra wood? Since when do trees run away from lions?



Butternut indeed! More like Seventiesnut!



Cashew? Baby, I've eaten cashews and this is no cashew!



Banana, ha! More like green onion!



Coconut????? Do you think I've never seen muscle under a microscope before?!?!



Nectarine, eh? Very pretty. Very pretty PLASTIC!



Rubber? Now you're just getting silly.



Zebrano. On beyond zebra.... Numbskulls....