All or nothing


One good thing about being me is that I have no allergies. I've always felt bad for you poor schmucks who spend pollen season in a snotty haze. It is true that I have constant trouble breathing and often sneeze without provocation (the two are not related), but at least it's not allergies. That must suck.

Anyway, our sweet teacher insurance ends this month, so I thought I would go in and get my tonsils checked out (more on that later) and my nasal cavities looked at for polyps or misshapen bones or whatever might be causing my breathing problems.

Today I went in for a second appointment and had 102 holes stabbed in my arms (I was counting--and never mind if the doctor's records say 116) and learned I am allergic to all the weeds in the southwestern United States, all the grasses in the southwestern United States, most molds, three of the five tree families in the southwestern United States (including a severe allergy to oaks--POP QUIZ: Guess what tree my hometown is widely known for?) and, get this, cats--POP QUIZ: Guess how many cats my family has owned in my lifetime?


One reason I had always known I wasn't allergic to anything was this: my symptoms were constant--I didn't react to, say, driving past a field of alfalfa POP QUIZ: What crop colored the hills at my granpa's ranch?, so I obviously wasn't allergic. Simple. It's either that or I'm allergic to everything, haha! and I'm not allergic to everything, haha!

So now that I've learned that I am one of the miserable, allergic schmucks aforementioned, I have to decide how much I care. It's taken me this long to even bother to ask a doctor about my nose, and if I can survive twenty-nine years without antibody-building shots or daily Claritin, why should I start that hassle now?

I'm getting one prescription of drugs and we'll see if it makes enough of a difference to bother switching to an allergy-free lifestyle.

In the meantime, I still need to tell you about my tonsils. But first, please excuse me while I go shove this douche bag down my throat.


  1. I've been realizing over the past couple years and especially over the past couple weeks that I am quite allergic to things like pollen and mold and dust and oxygen. I haven't thus far been very impressed with Claritin (or at least not with the Target brand of it), but yesterday I dug out the steroid nasal spray my doctor gave me a couple years ago, and it seems to have effected a dramatic improvement. There's an interesting article in May's National Geographic about allergies, but, as informative as it is about theoretical causes of allergies, it's not exactly helpful to those of us who suffer (welcome to the club).

  2. Well, just try having allergies and then cutting down dead weeds all day long. Then you'd have something to complain about.

  3. I joined the club this past year and I'm so unhappy.

  4. Heh. Yikes. I'm sorry. My little brother's allergic to basically everything too (like corn).

  5. Oh Th-

    I too am allergic to all things Southwestern. The highest ranking allergies of mine are Olive trees and Russian Milk Thistle AKA: Tumble weed (pop quiz: guess what is literally everywhere in AZ?).

    My sister finds Tylenol Severe Allergy quite helpful. I have been the go-round of 4 years of allergy injections (You really need like 10 years but my insurance had run out) and even tried some homeopathic things too. I have just given up really and only head for meds when I am feeling emotionally irritated by it all.

    Good luck to you (sucker!)

  6. So, I'm betting that your tonsil story will trump mine. But, let's see...

    I had my tonsils removed in 1991, and they were the size of WALNUTS...and touched each other in the back on my throat. (DISGUSTING).

    Well, in the year of 1991, I got tonsilitis 4 times in a 12 month period, with a fever of 104.

    I went to see an ENT and he said it was time to get those puppies out. I did--and fast forward to TODAY...

    One of my freaking tonsils is trying to grow back, and I have a nice tonsil TAG in the back of my mouth. Gross. Just plain gross.

    So...what say ye, TH? :)

  7. I have been allergic to everything since...then. My allergies are pretty severe, so I will tell you what I settled on:

    First though, I must tell you my symptoms were constant too and because of a broken (three (3) times) nose, any outbreak of allergies at all sends me on a downward spiral to sinus infection. (I love to share.)

    Generic claritin works just fine for those new to allergy meds. You can buy three hundred (300) pills for just $16.00 at Sam's Club--which could be cheaper than your co-pay depending on your insurance. Then a squirt of Flonase in each nostril before bed and I have been symptom free for about three (3) years. (Also I use a squirt every morning when I have a nature experience planned.)

    Hope that helps...

  8. .

    The thing is, if I am miserable, I never knew it before today. This is my normal. Now I have to decide to stop being normal--thus becoming comfortable--or remain normal, but now knowing it to be miserable.

    Ah, sweet ignorance! How I miss thee!

  9. .

    Oh! and another thing!

    I always went with the theory that allergies are caused by a hyperclean zero-exposure childhood, but that doesn't bear out for me at all. Most of these things I have had heavy exposure too. I don't want to raise any unwanted questions, but do you have any idea how many cats I've slept with in my lifetime?

  10. .

    And another thing!

    How much of my life is being eaten up by filling out these stupid word verifications!

  11. I am awful when it comes to allergies, during this time of year hiking is out, due to the fact that I've gone into convulsions from certain types of grasses. But at least I don't ever have to put on lotion, all you suckers that get dry skin! Ha!

  12. Hey Th-

    I agree about the normal being miserable thing, that's why I just gave up at this point.

    It all started when I would get raging nose bleeds for no reason, that's how we found out the allergies were so severe and year round. I never had sneezing, watery eyes, or runny/itchy nose- just the bleeds.

    After all I've been through with meds and shots... NOW I have all that other crap!! I say leave well enough alone until it actually begins to bother you.

  13. Well, just the other day I heard that rats that live in the sewer have better immune systems than rats that live in clean labs.

    Think of this: What if super clean freak people have worse immune systems? Does that then mean you would have EVEN WORSE allergies had you not been brought up the way you were?

    And my answers to the pop quizzes are as follows:
    1. oaks
    2. 15
    3. alfalfa

  14. .

    One problem, Mandi, is that my eyes have been bright red for about three weeks now. I never thought it was related to my nose (of course), but maybe I am turning into that stereotypical allergic person as we speak.


    And Silly:

    1. yes
    2. not sure, but that's approximately correct
    3. yes


  15. .

    I have needle hole up and down my arms.

    My eyes are red red red.

    And Mandi says the heroin look doesn't work on me.