My limited opacity


While at the Cerritos Sheraton, I had occasion to visit the bathroom and to be reminded that my own existence is not as corporeal as it sometimes seems.

The bathroom was controlled by electric eyes, their beady red lights watching the patrons and flushing for them.

Or, in my case, just flushing all the time.

I can only assume that the e-eyes have a hard time seeing me--why else would they flush seven times while I am sitting on the toilet, stationary?

Obviously, my opacity is at fault.

Is there some sort of vitamin I could take?


  1. You could try a tanning salon. Not that I'm one to speak.

  2. I think this is just the natural result of your resistance to eating.

  3. The key to the problem is in the word 'stationary'. Those red eyes are motion sensors.

  4. I don't know about the vitamin, but every time I read the word Sheraton, I pronounce it 'Chez Raton' (Fr: Mouse House) for my own amusement...

  5. Th. you are now on my blog as a real link.

    Just thought you should know. Sorry I didn't do it sooner...

  6. .

    Stupid--I am honored. And I like mice too.

    Mandi--Vitamin C, eh?

    Melyns--"Resistance" might be overstatement....

    M-Fob--Yeah. Hey.

    Anon--Actually, "stationary" was an overstatement as well. I noticed it flushed when, ah, I reached for paper.

  7. .

    Stupid--I just checked and the honor is as exclusive as I remembered.

    Now I just need to get linked to by Wonkette and my fame will be complete.

  8. I hear those things flush automatically every half hour. How long were you on there??

  9. I've experienced the same problem with the toilets. Let's say I was in Target. After that, I'd go stand at a counter and wait for a clerk to help me and they'd only see all the customers in line behind me and keep serving them instead of me, who was there first. It's been a few years since it's happened. I think the only thing I've done differently is start taking Nuskin vitamins (which are a full vitamin and mineral supplement, including Vitamin O, which is apparently really hard to find). I was tricked into it, but now that I think about it, they may be the reason for my return to full opacity. I cancelled my membership. We'll see what happens when I run out of the vitamins.

  10. .

    O for opacity.... That makes sense.

    Keep us posted.

  11. .

    Oh, and Cicada?

    I didn't invite you back so you could make fun of my incontinence....