The literary-snob meme

.

There are a couple versions of this going around. I think they're the same, just in a different order. I've been meaning to do it too. (I made up my own marks, though.)

Instructions:

01) Look at the list and put an 'x' after those you have read.
02) Put an 'o' next to the ones you've read in part
03) Put a 'q' next to it if you've read a gazillion books by that author, just not that one
04) Put an 'f' next to it if you've never even heard of it before
05) Put an 'n' if you can't imagine reading that stupid thing
06) Put a 'g' next to the ones you feel guilty for missing
06) Put a 'g' next to the ones you feel guilty for missing
07) Put an 's' next to the ones you're shocked to realize you've never read.
08) Put a 'y' next to the ones you imagine you'll read relatively soon
09) Put an 'm' if you're really unsure whether you've read it or not
10) Put an 'r' next to the ones you're reading now

1. The Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkien x
2. Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen x
3. His Dark Materials, Philip Pullman o
4. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams x
5. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, JK Rowling x
6. To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee x
7. Winnie the Pooh, AA Milne x
8. Nineteen Eighty-Four, George Orwell x
9. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, CS Lewis x
10. Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë x
11. Catch-22, Joseph Heller x
12. Wuthering Heights, Emily Brontë x
13. Birdsong, Sebastian Faulks f
14. Rebecca, Daphne du Maurier x
15. The Catcher in the Rye, JD Salinger x
16. The Wind in the Willows, Kenneth Grahame
17. Great Expectations, Charles Dickens o
18. Little Women, Louisa May Alcott y
19. Captain Corelli's Mandolin, Louis de Bernieres n
20. War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy y
21. Gone with the Wind, Margaret Mitchell n
22. Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone, JK Rowling x
23. Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets, JK Rowling x
24. Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban, JK Rowling x
25. The Hobbit, JRR Tolkien x
26. Tess Of The D'Urbervilles, Thomas Hardy g
27. Middlemarch, George Eliot
28. A Prayer For Owen Meany, John Irving f
29. The Grapes Of Wrath, John Steinbeck g
30. Alice's Adventures In Wonderland, Lewis Carroll x
31. The Story Of Tracy Beaker, Jacqueline Wilson f
32. One Hundred Years Of Solitude, Gabriel García Márquez g
33. The Pillars Of The Earth, Ken Follett
34. David Copperfield, Charles Dickens o
35. Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl x
36. Treasure Island, Robert Louis Stevenson o
37. A Town Like Alice, Nevil Shute
38. Persuasion, Jane Austen x
39. Dune, Frank Herbert x
40. Emma, Jane Austen y
41. Anne Of Green Gables, LM Montgomery g
42. Watership Down, Richard Adams x
43. The Great Gatsby, F Scott Fitzgerald x
44. The Count Of Monte Cristo, Alexandre Dumas o
45. Brideshead Revisited, Evelyn Waugh n
46. Animal Farm, George Orwell x
47. A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens x
48. Far From The Madding Crowd, Thomas Hardy
49. Goodnight Mister Tom, Michelle Magorian f
50. The Shell Seekers, Rosamunde Pilcher f
51. The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett m
52. Of Mice And Men, John Steinbeck x
53. The Stand, Stephen King g
54. Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy g
55. A Suitable Boy, Vikram Seth f
56. The BFG, Roald Dahl q
57. Swallows And Amazons, Arthur Ransome f
58. Black Beauty, Anna Sewell on
59. Artemis Fowl, Eoin Colfer n
60. Crime And Punishment, Fyodor Dostoyevsky og
61. Noughts And Crosses, Malorie Blackman f
62. Memoirs Of A Geisha, Arthur Golden sn
63. A Tale Of Two Cities, Charles Dickens og
64. The Thorn Birds, Colleen McCollough
65. Mort, Terry Pratchett sq
66. The Magic Faraway Tree, Enid Blyton f
67. The Magus, John Fowles f
68. Good Omens, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman x
69. Guards! Guards!, Terry Pratchett sq
70. Lord Of The Flies, William Golding x
71. Perfume, Patrick Süskind y
72. The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists, Robert Tressell f
73. Night Watch, Terry Pratchett x
74. Matilda, Roald Dahl sq
75. Bridget Jones's Diary, Helen Fielding on
76. The Secret History, Donna Tartt y
77. The Woman In White, Wilkie Collins s
78. Ulysses, James Joyce n
79. Bleak House, Charles Dickens
80. Double Act, Jacqueline Wilson f
81. The Twits, Roald Dahl sgq
82. I Capture The Castle, Dodie Smith m
83. Holes, Louis Sachar x
84. Gormenghast, Mervyn Peake f
85. The God Of Small Things, Arundhati Roy g
86. Vicky Angel, Jacqueline Wilson f
87. Brave New World, Aldous Huxley x
88. Cold Comfort Farm, Stella Gibbons s
89. Magician, Raymond E Feist f
90. On The Road, Jack Kerouac n
91. The Godfather, Mario Puzo r
92. The Clan Of The Cave Bear, Jean M Auel n
93. The Colour Of Magic, Terry Pratchett x
94. The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho n
95. Katherine, Anya Seton f
96. Kane And Abel, Jeffrey Archer f
97. Love In The Time Of Cholera, Gabriel García Márquez g
98. Girls In Love, Jacqueline Wilson f
99. The Princess Diaries, Meg Cabot on
100. Midnight's Children, Salman Rushdie f

My Total Xs: 32

But I'm not that impressed by the list. So I plead not guilty due to better taste. (And even the good taste---why so many Pratchett and Rowling books?) I emean, The Princess Diaries? I hated the first fifty pages of that book! It's one of the few books I could not finish and that is a rare event indeed for me. (Interstingly, the other I can think of are also whiney diaries --- Bridget Jones and Full-Frontal Snogging.)

We need to teach more geography

.

(link)

Saturday's Werewolf (mark your calendars now)

.

I will be reading my paper "Saturday's Werewolf: Vestiges of Premortal Romance in Stephanie Meyer's Twilight Novels" in Cupertino at the 2009 Sunstone West symposium on either the 27 or 28 of March --- although almost certainly the 28.

Everything 28 will be at the Hilton Garden Inn:

View Larger Map

You are all, of course, welcomed to come and listen to me read. I will strive to be less than deadly boring.

Important notice: I have three big thankyous here. 1) To Tyler for getting me on this project, to Ben for coining the phrase "Saturday's Werewolf" and to Lady Steed for letting me have the hours and hours and hours it took last week to write this thing. Slightly smaller thankyous to all those of you who have read it for me, viz. Mel, eg, TB, Schmett, RC, Laura.

3rd 5 Books of 72●41

.

015) Batman: The Black Glove by Grant Morrison and Tony Daniel and J.H. Williams III, finished February 23

I didn't really care for the first book in this series so I've been letting this one sit on my nightstand for months. A shame, really, because this one I liked quite a bit. Interestingly, one storyline reflects stories from this 1989 volume of "the greatest" Batman stories that the Big O and I are now reading together. So having read the decades-old antecedents heightened my enjoyment of this book. And the storyline under discussion also redeemed, in some measure, Batman and Son. The first storyline was disappointing however. It started off great, throwing Batman in to an Agatha Christie superhero novel. A bunch of heroes trapped on an island, getting murdered one by one. Great setup. Lots of potential. Set up brilliantly. Resolved before any real suspense or intrigue could get going. A waste of a great idea. All that said, I hope Mr Fob buys the third volume in Grant's Batman run soon so I can borrow and read it as well. I've been drawn back in. three daysish

014) The Hot Zone: A Terrifying True Story by Richard Preston, finished February 22

All the hype is true! Or would have been had I read this fresh, fifteen years ago! But Marburg and Ebola are still really scary! Boo! Seriously though, good book. It's been my stays-in-the-car book since we bought the 5 and the Big O would ask me to read The Scary Book to him at times we were waiting for Mommy. I don't think he followed the story too well, but when his mother came back I would sum up the horrors for her and no doubt that made for great spectator conversation. Horrible, horrible, true, horrible stuff. six months

013) Lex Luthor: Man of Steel by Brian Azzarello and Lee Bermejo, finished February 19

As an archetype, Superman may provide more insight into the modern psyche than any other invention of the past century. As a modern, as an American in 2009, I appreciate Superman's power in this regard. But I'm not that interested in reading about Superman or watching Superman --- I still haven't seen the recent movie for instance. And peripheral characters like Lex Luthor interest me even less. All I really know about him is Gene Hackman and that he became president. "Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story." ---John Barth This book gives us Luthor's perspective. And at first, his perspective is compelling. He is anxious to protect humanity from an alien power who could, at any moment, on a whim, kill us all. And Luthor does seem to be a hero. The first to die under his instructions are nothing more than Chechen terrorists. They're badguys, right? But then his what-used-to-be-called monomania becomes more and more apparent and his thinking more and more obviously warped. This is the same writer-artist team that gave me The Joker a few days ago, but both are working at a higher level here. Let's talk art. It's less experimental yet more successful than Joker's art. Most notably is the fearsome representation of Superman. His alienness is gross and plain, his glowing red eyes and unnatural movement disturbing. And, in the end, we are left without pat answers. No one seems to be a true hero in this Metropolis. All have sinned and come short of the glory of God. a day or two

012) Blue Beetle: Shellshocked by Keith Giffen and Cully Hammer, finished February 18

What's not to like? Chipper youth. New setting (El Paso). Fun supporting cast. He's the new Spider-Man! twelve hoursish

011) The Joker by Brian Azzarello and Lee Bermejo, finished February 17

Not as fanTAStic as the MSM buzz had led me to believe. Really, the most interesting thing about this book was the art from Bermejo --- the fractured lines followed by paintings followed by computerized blurs topped with primary-color blood. Very ugly, but ugly to a purpose and really quite excellent. I'm looking forward to seeing more from him. As I will as I've already borrowed another from this team from Ben. We'll see what I think, shall we? hour or so

(previously)
010) Watchmen by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons, finished February 18
009) Superman: Red Son by MJR&M, finished February 11
008) The Best American Comics 2008 edited by Lynda Barry, finished February 9
007) The Blot by Tom Neely, finished February 6
006) JSA: Darkness Falls by Goyer, Johns, et al, finished January 28
005) The Road by Cormac McCarthy, finished January 24
004) Poor Sailor by Sammy Harkham, finished January 19
003) The Waitress was New by Dominique Fabre and translated by Jordan Stump, finished January 19
002) Stagger Lee by Derek McCulloch and Shepherd Hendrix, finished January 12?
001) The Arrival by Shaun Tan, finished January 8

Priestcraft in Svithery

.

Stake conference this week and we heard from the Sunday School general president.

He reminded teachers (and aren't we all teachers?) that we should be focused on learning, not teaching. In other words, it's not about how cleverly we teach, but about hos well learning occurs.

Teaching in a way that glorifies the teacher rather than serves the learner is a form of priestcraft.

I'm taking this as personal instruction, for church, for here, for m'job, for life.

last week's svithe

Best reason for drinking coffee I've ever seen

.

Tell me this isn't awesome.

2009's 6-10

.

010) Watchmen by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons, finished February 18

The great classic, right?

I liked it more this time around. I was more able to understand why people talk up Gibbons's art. It has less to do with the look (which is typical of the time period), but the composition and choice of detail is what's impressive here.

As literature, it has the sort of density and complexity that gets it on, say, Time's Top 100 list.

It's a good book and I like and appreciate it. And I fail to see how any movie can do it justice.

week or so

009) Superman: Red Son by MJR&M, finished February 11

An Elsewords I've long been interested in. Superman lands in Ukraine rather than Kansas and is raised communist. Pretty well done. I liked it. Worth a read.

lunchtime

008) The Best American Comics 2008 edited by Lynda Barry, finished February 9

By far the best of the series. Read an indepth look at Fobcomics.

about a month i guess

007) The Blot by Tom Neely, finished February 6

I reread it to write my book-of-the-year post at Fobcomics. Truly an amazing book.

about an hour

006) JSA: Darkness Falls by Goyer, Johns, et al, finished January 28

There. I finished it. And I have to say having the entirety of space and time in constant peril is rather tiring.

monthish

(previously)

Not an original bone in his head

.

Master Fob said: Why do we need any method other than the mechanized wheelchair?

To mash potatoes, you mean? Mostly because it voids the warranty. Sorry the answer has to be so pedestrian.

So to speak.

Lindsay said: Isn't it "Me and the major don't see eye to eye on it"?

I know this one! Belle and Sebastian!

Silly Marie: You're really that much older than us?

And getting older every day.

JB: Are you and Lady Steed close enough to meet up for ice cream some time?

We meet up for other reasons as well. Nudge nudge.

Silly Marie: Are you eating enough?

Ice cream, or in general. (No to both, probably.)

daltongirl: Btw, Coast Guard Day doesn't even show up on my calendar. What's up with that?

Antitheric propaganda swept. the nation. It was in the news.

Thirdmango: I'm not sure where in Cali you live, but if you live anywhere near Monrovia or Arcadia, do you wanna go to lunch?

I have no idea where either of those are. Or are those restaurants?

noelle feather: Albany, as in Oregon?

New York? California? Scotland?

Samantha Stevens said: I just have to question one of your gift choices: "The Library of America," featuring...CHOPIN???? A Polish composer who lived in France????

Wrong Chopin, sweetheart.

Thirdmango said: You do own the actual series of Cowboy Bebop don't you?

Yes. Yes I do.

MasterFob: Do I get bonus points if I guess which songs came from me?

Like that's even possible, Master Fob. Who do you think you are, anyway: Barry Manilow?

Stupidramblings said: Haberdahserheaven? that might be your best new word. EVER.

Thank you. But I'm not sure it's really a question.

Stupidramblings said: Um, what does the Buddha have to do with moving? Is he carrying your boxes?

No, no, no. He's the yin to my yang. Totally stationary, etc.

noelle feather said: El Cerrito is quite the distance from Tehachapi, no?

Quite, yes.

CHARLAX: Ask me Why? You ask why? The answer is because.

Hey, buddy. *I* give the answers around here.

Tyler: Porn stars? At an Idaho university? Are they taking applications?

Not currently.

Melyngoch: Kom igen. The printing of the first English book didn't even make the list?

That's not the first English book, silly. Kim igen, indeed.

Schmetterling: That is pretty much spectacular, I must say. How do you find this stuff?

People mostly just leave them in the comments of my posts.

Celia: Why a rooster, by the way?

Because they tend to type comments while standing in the rain.

alishka babushka: So maybe that had an affect on his conducting?

Eggzaktly.

Schmetterling: 'Course, immortal butterflies are probably pretty hard to eat, no?

For electrocuted roosters? Yes.

Mr. Fob: Did you know they're releasing Toy Story in 3D in 2009, in preparation for Toy Story 3 in 2010?

You don't say. I only wish they would release 12 Angry Men in 3D. That would be the best ever.

Schmetterling: Woah! WOAH! Hold on there, Th! You can't go changing the universe on me NOW! I thought Vertigo was the indisputably best ever; what's with this 12 Angry Men stuff?

Vertigo? In 3D? Surely you jest.

Schmetterling: Will there be werewolves in heaven, then?

Funny you should ask. I hope to have my paper on that topic finished up some time this week.

8/14/06 4:03 PM

Svithe #145: In defense of misery, and in which remember that men may not always have joy

.

Happy birthday, Lincoln. Although would you have been happy? Our greatest president was also one of our gloomiest as we may notice when we read some of his verse. The point I want to make regards the worth of depressed people.

Redoubt's excellent post, her svithe manifesto on depression, deserves your attention. I want to steal from her a bit today and talk about the verses she quotes.

"Adam fell that men might be, and men are that they might have joy." 2 Nephi 2:25

We Mormons love this verse. We quote it all the time. But we often overapply it. As Redoubt points out, this verse precedes it:

"For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things." 2 Nephi 2:11

Redoubt: "You can't just say that we're here to have joy. That's only half the equation. I hate when people refuse to acknowledge the other half. Unhappiness is real, it breathes in our cities, it permeates our lives, and ignoring it doesn't make it go away, you can't pretend it's not there just because you don't want it."

She's right. men are not that they might always have joy --- in fact, such a thing is impossible. Without the misery, we could not recognize the joy. This is sound Mormon doctrine.

Redoubt: "Having joy may perhaps be the end goal of it all, but that's not going to happen, it's simply not going to, in this life."

"Because that Adam fell, we are; and by his fall came death; and we are made partakers of misery and woe." Moses 6:48

Welcome to mortality, folks. And keep praying. And stay away from the knives.

You are loved.

last week's svithe

Amor tussisque non celantur. ~Ovid

.

Love, and a cough, are not concealed.

And---ahem!---I love me my Lady Steed.

Of all the times to clean house.....

.

Man.

Setting up the RRRs to play through the end of the week meant no Abe's-200th post, no freaky-deaky Friday-the-13th post, no Val's-Day post. What bad planning. What a lousy set of days to ignore......

Fortunately, Lincoln gets some facetime Sunday, Friday has its own movie coming out today, and 'vd' also stands for 'venereal disease' so maybe we're just better off letting that one slide anyway.

RRR: Excuses, Excuses

.

I haven't played the game yet because...:

11/15/06 9:07 PM

RRR: Democracy's only fun if you're on the winning side and I never am!

.

11/6/06 3:01 PM

RRR: What

.

2/27/07 4:25 PM

RRR: When Thursday was Tieday

.

In high school, when we were seniors, my friend Myke and I instituted Tie Day every Thursday. The idea was to get everyone on campus to wear a tie every Thursday.

We had more success than you might imagine.

The first week was a little sparse, but when people realized we were serious, numbers went up. The next Thursday was very well observed. The one after that even more so. The next week it began to taper down. By the end of the year, I alone was tie-wearing.

3/22/07 9:20 AM

RRR: Two blasts

.

Last Wednesday I went in to interview for an academic program I'm planning to start this summer and it went well enough, I think. But the bloggable part is the program's coordinator, whom I've met once before and who struck me then, as she did now, as being the sixty-year-old version of Sarah Jane, the girl I wanted to marry in 1998.

I didn't, of course, and Lady Steed is undoubtedly a better match for me, but Sarah Jane appeared at a point in my life in such a way that I don't think I will ever forget her. Or, for that matter, her birthday or anniversary, more's the pity.

Not including this earily similar coordinator, I've only seen Sarah Jane twice since getting married--once at Mt. Timp on my birthday when I saw her wedding party (weird) and once at the library.

She's one of those very short girls who married someone very very tall.

balblabla

Caren cassill (sp?)

Either working for a university in Idaho (reasonably possible)) or a porn star (extremely unlikely)

4/5/07 8:09 AM

RRR: Blink!

.

mea culpa, yua dumbo

5/26/07 11:32 PM

RRR: Self-analysis: Couples Crush

.

Occasionally I get crushes on couples we know. I call it a crush because it feels a lot like the crushes I would get on girls back in the single days.

girls like girls I would have been attracted to back in the day and probably still am if I'm honest with myself

boys like the boys I would have liked hanging out with

1/18/09 1:31 PM

RRR: Plagiarized

.

I try to stay well within the bounds of fairuse, but this spam needed to be quoted in its entirety/fullness. And I'm sorry, but I did not bother to ask permission.

Your penis looks like a sausage from a kid▓s menu. Try Penis Enlarge Patch and it will move to biggiesize menu.

7/1/07 4:30 PM

RRR: What we like about women is how they are like men What we like about men is how they are like women

.

I have heard this said; allegedly it is true of both physical attraction and below-the-skin characteristics. Presumably it is only true of heterosexuals, though I'm making a leap here--perhaps that assumption is faulty all over the place.

10/29/07 10:58 PM