Thoughts on the Thin Man remake

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I've been expecting a Thin Man remake for about ten years now. I've been expecting it with both joy and dread. Dread because most remakes insult lovers of the original. And joy because the Ocean's 11 remake remains one of the coolest movies I've ever seen.

Like any good fan faced with this inevitability, I've cast the leads in my mind. Once I hit upon my Nick, I knew I had nailed it. Nick must be Hugh Laurie.

His work on House has proved he can do American as well as any American. The man can wear a suit and still be believable as a friend of the lowlifes. Plus, he's effortlessly hilarious. Plus, he can play piano. Love Johnny Depp as I do (currently cast as Nick), he just can't do Nick as well as Hugh Laurie can do Nick. Of this I am certain.

Recasting Myrna Loy is more difficult. In part because I'm kinda in love with her, and partly because---

No, it's just because Myrna Loy is probably the best actress like ever and I totally am in love with her. She's unreplacable!

Who I keep arriving at is Cate Blanchett.

She could do it. The best evidence might be her turn in The Aviator, but I'm almost leery to link to it if you don't know her already as you could get the wrong impression.

But I've never been 100% sold on Cate which is why this blog post that's been percolating since c. 2005 has never been written until now.

This list, which is what introduced me to the Thin Man remake, has some actresses I like, but most of them are too young, imho. Especially if you're matching them with Hugh Laurie (or Johnny Depp, for that matter). The exception, and it's a striking one, is Kristin Wiig. She's a newly minted movie star, and her work in Bridesmaids makes me think she could do this. But if she goes into one of her two or three funny voices, I'm not sure I would like that.

I don't mean to come off as a stick in the mud, but I don't want this played to broad. In my opinion, the beauty of Nick and Nora is their understatement. Something Hugh Laurie is great at. And something Kristin Wiig can be great at. But it's not what Kristin Wiig fans would be coming to see.

So I'm still not sure about Myrna's replacement.

In the end, I don't mind the movies being remade. They're old, and the best way to get people to watch them in 2012 is with a successful remake. And solid married couples are too rare in the American cinema. Never do you doubt that Nick and Nora will be together forever and that allows them to rely on each other and create that certain magic that only confidently married people can pull off. So let's go on with the remake.

But if Johnny Depp drops out, oh passingby casting director, get on your phone and start selling the studio a helping of Hugh.

Thanks.

Thteed Family Celebrity Crushes

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Can you match the Thteeds to their celebrity crushes?

Answers to follow.






1. Thmazing to Myrna Loy.

Given that my standard of beauty is what lurks on Lady Steed's face, it may surprise you that Myrna Loy wins the race as my celebrity crush. The truth is, it's not her looks so much as it is her way of delivering a line that wows me. The only "real" celebrity crush I've ever had was during the summer of 1999 on the singer of Sixpence None the Richer. Did you see that video? Anyway, Myrna: She's funny and mean and nice and caustic and she never takes a prisoner. Go rent a Thin Man movie or either of the ones where she split billing with Cary Grant. You can't go wrong.

2. Lady Steed to Alton Brown.

I learned about this "sorta crush" on Saturday at my sister's apartment as we watched Food Network. I knew immediately why. It wasn't the food skills. It wasn't the braininess. It wasn't the cool specs. Or, rather, it was all these things, but primarily it was the spiky hair. And I realized that if I want all the wifely affections available, I need to reconsider my goop-free hair policy. If it can work for a balding guy, it ought to work for me. (For more on that policy, copy either of the following links into your browser: http://thmazing.blogspot.com/2005/08/half-moon-bay-ward.html - http://thmazing.blogspot.com/2005/12/on-husbandry-rants-and-apologium.html.)

3. The Big O to Mei of My Neighbor Totoro fame.

Mei is something of an older woman for the Big O, but not so much older that he can't view her as a peer. And what a peer! She brave and assertive and gets to ride around on enormous furry creatures! What a woman! If you were two, you'ld be crushing on her too. Admit it.

The Next Big Thing: Interview with Theric Jepson

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"The Next Big Thing" is a network of self-interviews.

I was tagged last week by Professor Percival P. Pennywhistle.

When tagged, an artist posts the following questions (adjusted as necessary)---and their answers---then tags other artists, who post a week later. Thus, an evergrowing series of folk all writing about projects currently engaged in. Because the people want to know! Because they care about the future! So so much!

I've been in touch with a few potentials and the following have accepted my taggery: Sarah Dunster and Kohl Glass and Denise Gasser. I'll include more precise links in the comments below when I have more precise links. Anyway, they should all be posting next week somewhere.


TNBT: What is the working title of your project?

I've codenamed it JTh, in part because the title's in flux. It began life about eight years ago as a sort-of sequel to my just-now-finally-released novel Byuck and, until recently, was titled Byuck: A Sophomore Effort. But I'm abandoning that title. I might stick with "A Sophomore Effort" or I might not---such a title might be too clever for its own good.

TNBT: Where did the idea come from for the book?

I don't remember the precise genesis, but at one point I was thinking of a trio of books about the Them siblings, using their respective times at BYU as the focal point. For Dave (oldest) and Julie (youngest), that's their bachelors degrees. For Tom (middle) it's his MBA. No wonder Tom's is the one I've never really worked on.

TNBT: What genre does your book fall under?

It's an antiromance, methinks. Or maybe you mean the other sense of genre. Throw me that question again.

TNBT: What genre does your book fall under?

It's a novella. It's a short-story collection. It's complicated.

One reason I spent so long getting JTh started was because, when I first started on it in 2004 (the year before it takes place), it was grossly humorless sluggery. But the release of Byuck has energized me in unexpected ways. Running across old notes for other imagined projects while thinking about Julie's story changed the form of JTh immensely. So what we have now is a novella-length work made of ten short stories and an introduction. Each of which features Julie but, except for the introduction and final story, she is never the p-o-v character---sometimes she's pretty tertiary, in fact. So the reader's forced to triangulate her story from other character's stories. The bad news is, lots of information about the Them family and important elements from Julie's world (her visits to her cousins! Curses in town for the Byuck revival!) never make appearances in the novella because the people telling their stories don't care about those details of Julie's life. It's irrelevant to them.

That said, some of the individual stories are pretty great. I just hope the whole holds together.

TNBT: What actors would you choose to play the part of your characters in a movie rendition?

Is Myrna Loy available? Because if not, I ain't playing this game.

TNBT: What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?

Girl, on inevitable quest for love, does the evitable.

TNBT: How long did it take you to write the first draft of the manuscript?

A little over a month. But that doesn't include the eight-plus years of off-and-on thinking about it.

TNTB: Who or what inspired you to write this book?

Um. Feminism? That's a good answer.

TNTB: What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?

The most beautiful woman in the world might go out with you in this fictional universe. And that goes for everyone! Not just sad boys!

TNTB: Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?

One reason I wrote JTh as a novella was to experiment with self-publishing. I'm planning on releasing it in October 2013, but in the meantime, I want to try and sell some of the individual stories to reputable lit rags. If that works out, I may push back my publication date.

TNTB: Tell us about your imaginings for the cover?

Oh, I already have that all figured out. Let's just say Matt Page will be involved.

TNTB: Before you go, why a codename? Why not just a working title?

Because my other big project right now has a codename too? It's a novel and I'm calling it YW because if I call it by its real title, I'll feel too committed to it. Or look creepy. But not as creepy as the original codenamed work in my ouevre. When people learn PENny's real title, I may lose friends. I just hope the future's on my side.

Professor Percival P. Pennywhistle

Sarah Dunster • Kohl Glass • Denise Gasser

I read a bookand a book read meI read that bookby a coconut tree

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016) Snotgirl: Green Hair, Don't Care by Bryan Lee O'Malley and Leslie Hung, finished February 16

I'm a big fan of O'Malley's other books, Scott Pilgrim and Seconds, and so, perhaps, I will get the second Snotgirl collection, but I'm not loving it. Plotwise, I'm curious to see if the p-o-v character is correctly interpreting events or if her allergy medicine is making her kill people, but I don't like any (any) of these characters. His other books have shallow characters with depths. These characters just seem shallow under their shallow exteriors.

At least it didn't take long to read....

evening


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017) Ghost of the Grotto by Carl Barks, finished February 20

Hilarious! Barks does't need Uncle Scrooge to have a galloping time---just throw him some ducks and watch the fun commence!

one sitting


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018) When the Wind Blows by Raymond Briggs, finished February 22

I was reading about the movie somewhere which inspired me to get the book (the creator of which, me being American, I only know from The Snowman.). If memory serves, because I could not find the movie. But the book is astonishing. It's so quiet and contained and about so very, very much. The characters with no irony in them whatsoever but, because of the world they live in, all their words become ironic nevertheless.

If only one book about The Bomb survives The Bomb, I sure hope it's this one.

one sitting


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019) Temple and Cosmos by Michael R. Collings, finished February 23

Collings is at a point in his career where he seems less interested in impressing people and more interested in scratching every itch he has left. Then he packages them in a themed package and hangs out his shingle.

Temple and Cosmos is such a packaging---mostly new poems, but some that have appeared before, including in Into the Void. The volume is split into two halves---temple and cosmos---and the justaposition means that awe of temple and awe of cosmos are balanced, or at least intended to be.

Among the itches the poet is scratching are those of influence. Emily is all through this book, for instance, and I think I sense some George Herbert as well. Some moderns---Eliot, maybe?

My favorite poem, perhaps, comes from the cosmos half and is a missionary's homecoming talk after two years in distant space. He has come home to speak to his sibling's grandchildren. It also had a nice, additional frisson thanks to the recent announcement, making missionaries less disconnected from home.

I love that Michael is still formally experimenting. And although not everything works for me, it makes me happy to see a retired gentleman with ambition. Never stop scribbling.

a bit over six months


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020) The Thin Man by Dashiell Hammett, finished February 23

Like The Maltese Falcon, what a book. Hammett has the sentences of Hemingway, but he plots like the genre master he is. Nick and Nora aren't quite what they are in the movies, but that's not to say is one is better than the other. The full warmth of their relationship is helped along by William Powel and Myrna Loy, sure, but the drinking seems more fun-and-games as well. He's clearly an alcoholic in the book, though certainly a high-functioning one.

And the falling-together-of-pieces at the end is a thing of wonder. There is craft in this art.

Does really make me want to binge all the movies. But maybe I'll read Hammett's own sequel first.

coupla weeks


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021) Fungus the Bogeyman by Raymond Briggs, finished February 24

Not long after I put When the Wind Blows, Adam Koford tweeted about this book, and so, why not, I threw it on hold two. It came from L.A. (the other only from S.F.) and it's in even worse shape. These thirty-plus-year old paperbacks are falling apart. Time to replace them, libraries!

This one's story is much less compelling---largely it's a punfilled fieldguide to bogeymen. And it's a good read (even has a nice Cold Comfort reference), but it's not one I'll push on you. Read When the Wind Blows first.

(Although, this is the one that inspired a Sir Paul song. Which is crazy since Bogey's hate music.)

two or three days


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Crushes

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I remember the first time I ever found myself developing a celebrity crush. It was 1999 and I was single at BYU and watching VH1's top ten countdown everyday so I could watch the pretty girl ask me to kiss her.

It was a weird feeling--falling in love with silver screen or celluloid really wasn't something I tended towards, but I was totally in love with this Sixpence girl. Of course, her voice had a lot to do with that, but also. Well. You saw her.

I've blogged about Myrna Loy before, so I'll just say this clip is from a movie that, as it has Cary Grant in it, makes Lady Steed and me even.

And I love this clip. I think it's hilarious.

Next up: Miranda Otto as Eowyn. Holy smokes.

And having said "Miranda Otto as Eowyn. Holy smokes," it might be a good time for me to point out that many of the reasons she appeals to me are similarities she shares with Lady Steed. In fact, it's quite clear to me that all my standards of beauty are based on the LSI and I can't help but to wonder if it has ever been so. And if so, why I wasn't a stalker from the moment I first met her....

Anyway, this clip is her great feminist moment (worth noting: even Weta's effects look crappy on YouTube) and does not feature Viggo. But his performance in these movies makes them a fair trade also.

Last, our beloved Tina Fey, who's specs alone are enough to get her a good LSI score and whose 30 Rock you should go watch right now if you haven't already. She's fabulous.

But did you catch her on Sesame Street?

Now you can:

May We Movie? (yes we may)

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Not very many movies this month, alas. But quality should count for something. Or at least average age?

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The Incredible Hulk (2008)

So I have now seen all extant Marvel movies at least once. I can see why this one was deliberately cut out of the family tree, but it's really not that terrible. It's kind of a mess with a handful of excellent pieces and some clunky pieces melded together with too-much music and some weird editing choices. But the cinematography and some of the directorial and editing choices were as lovely as anything in the MCU and, frankly, making more of an effort to be lovely.

It's kind of awful to watch this movie at this point, though, because it leaves so many interesting threads unresolved. Threads that, frankly, it's pretty bold for the MCU to ignore. Or would be if the MCU wasn't totally ignoring this movie.

Anyway, I liked the first Iron Man movie back in 2008 but when Hulk came out a month later I wasn't really interested. I never liked Hulk as a character. I made an exception to watch the Ang Lee movie and it was visually cool (until the illegible final fight), but Hulk and Thor (the next two characters to carry movies) were nonstarters for me. I darn near escaped getting brought back into the movies. But the The Avengers became the first movie that really became a big thing upon its release at the high school so, for cultural literacy, I made time for it. And now here we are. I've seen them all. And now I have to live with them just dropping a Tim Blake Nelson supervillain. Not cool, MCU. Not cool.

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Parasite (2019)

It couldn't leave me as speechless as last time, but last week I watched several analyses of the film and seeing the film constructed, scene by scene, rather than being amazed by it moment by moment was quite the different experience.

And it really just makes me want to watch more 봉준호 movies---whether ones I've seen before or the ones I've yet to see. Thank goodness for an era where fulfilling such a hope is possible. Ah, the future. So nice to live here.

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My Favorite Wife (1940)

So we picked this off the shelf as a movie we had long owned but never watched. Lady Steed stands by that but I'm convinced we watched it before. But it hardly mattered. Seen it before or not, we watched and we enjoyed.

The set-up: A woman has been drowned, lost at sea, for seven years. Her husband has her declared dead the same day he marries anew. The same day she arrives back on dry land. Hijinks ensue.

It's a flawed movie. The second wife needs to be awful for it to work as set up, but mostly we feel sorry for her. And Cary Grant goes from charming and sympathetic to awful (this is intentional) to Santa having sex (really!). It's the sort of movie that will fall apart with too much scrutiny, but is much fun to watch if you just watch it.

That said, and no offense, Irene Dunne, but Myrna Loy would have been ever better.

And special shoutout to Granville Bates as the judge. He was great.

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So I Married an Axe Murderer (1993)

The internet's been bringing up this movie nonstop for months and tonight Lady Steed and I finally sat down to watch it, see if maybe it's kid-friendly.

(Probably not. Partially because sex, partially because not that funny.)

Weird thing about this movie: what makes it so great is the FINAL act. I know waaay many movies that fall apart in the final act---this one finally really comes to life then.

Now, it's possible the first two thirds (four fifths?) worked better in the Nineties because this movie is all kinds of Nineties. Mike Meyers schtick that no leading man should do (his bit role makes more sense) and bizarro-world young San Francisco ala Friends in New York.

Somehow, even though it's not that big of a surprise, I completely forgot about the twist. But whether I remembered or not, the end of the movie was so fun, why would it have mattered?

But maybe the film is best for the great performances in small roles. I really need to watch every Alan Arkin comedy, for instance. And in even smaller roles I enjoyed Stephen Wright and Charles Grodin. I had no idea any of these men were in the movie. And it was weirdly right to be surprised by Charles Grodin on the day he died. R.I.P.

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The Maltese Falcon (1941)

This is another movie I thought I hadn't seen before but almost definitely have. But, unlike My Favorite Wife, which is a lightweight, this is one of the Great Films, a True American Classic. And I suppose it's possible I just know the clips well enough that the whole film feels familiar. And that may be right. There were some significant characters that weren't familiar at all. But I don't know. I just don't know.

Anyway, Sam Spade is a great character. It's fun to watch Bogie and Lorre and Greenstreet shuffled and redealt from Casablanca, and the conlusion really is very satisfactory. And not just because one Humphrey Bogart namedrops my hometown.

The Big O felt obliged to study for Calculus and Lady Steed fell asleep and so I may get to watch this again real soon. I won't mind. In fact, I look forward to the pleasure of piecing the whole thing together.

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High Noon (1952)

I picked out five or six movies on Prime for number-one son to choose from and he picked the oldest. And he did not regret it.

It's been so long since I'd seen it I didn't know how it ended. Oh, I remembered the basic shape of the path to the end, but I wasn't sure how it got there. And I know I really liked it last time I saw it, but I'm heartbroken for Grace Kelly. I think maybe I feel her sacrifice more this time.

That John Wayne both hated this movie and wished he was in it is about all you need to understand American masculinity, I think.

Perhaps because I was worried about whether or not the Big O would like it, I did find the beginning a bit slow and the music a bit too much, but neither opinion survived the movie. In fact, I'm mighty curious in hearing this.

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Idiocracy (2006)

It's been a long time since I've seen this. I'm guessing long enough that this'll be the first time it makes one of these lists, though I'm too lazy to check. Which may not bode well....

Anyway, the movie is still funny. Lady Steed and I debated whether it is funnier now or more painful now than it was in the beforetimes. Hard to say. She got caught up in some that-wouldn't-happens but this movie makes it easy for me to not think about such things.

In our aftertimes, some of the opening jokes that felt mean at last viewing feel more reasonable now. Aftertimes will do that to you, I suppose.

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O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000)

The Big O picked this out of a pile of suggestions (after we rejected his #1 and #2, Interstellar and Das Boot for potentially taking us past midnight) and, I'm very pleased to say, he loved it. Which is the only appropriate response to O Brother.

I will always love this movie but, I will admit, one of my biggest takeaways was how much I want to watch Sullivan's Travels again. That has to be one of my all-time favorite inter-film conversations.

The shape of the screenplay is a marvel. Whenever I see it, I think this—this—is the movie I want to write. The way characters are introduced and returned to never fails to impress.

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All Midsummers are not composed of equal parts lamb and lion

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March comes in like a lamb and out like a lion.

I suppose that's a not-insane comparison between The Thin Man and T2.

But would not describe it as a straight line from L to L.

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The Thin Man (1934)

She rarely if ever bothers to smolder but no one in the history of film is more attractive than Myrna Loy. I would watch her sit and be bored for thirty minutes at a stretch. How does she do it?

I wonder if the dinner scenes in Black Bag were inspired at least in part by the Charleses' dinner scenes?

It is astonishing to me how slobberingly drunk people were during Prohibition.

While I don't think any of the movies is perfect, this remains one of my all-time top franchises.

ELSEWHERE × 3
Prime Video

A Midsummer Night's Dream (1999)

I've seen this movie, on average, once every nine years since it came out and all of them yesterday and today.

I kinda loved it, actually. I was a little worried from reviews at the time that it would be too sexy and/or not well acted, but come on. It's exactly the right amount of sexy and the acting's pretty solid throughout. A few lines really hammered the blank verse (but I actually liked those line readings, Ms Pfeiffer, don't worry), but I wonder if what was disliked at the time (by those who did) was the pure theatricality of it all? The woods are all sets. But it remains cinematic. The characters, in their greatest madness, move in and out of sightlines much as they might on a stage. But it never stops being a movie.

Also really like some of the dramaturgical choices. Allowing Bottom to be more than a joke, the tension (and eventual resolution) between Theseus and Hippolyta, the way the women watch the play differently than the men.

And I like the darned bicycles.

ELSEWHERE
Kanopy

The Worst Person in the World (2021)

In twelve chapters and a prologue and an epilogue, so a great film to split over four days (as I did), but a little hard to wrap my arms around. The acting from the leads is excellent. The various angles on human experience are intriguing. The closeness of death to life, of truth to living—and yet, do they meet?

It seems like it has a 50% chance to be a movie I'm still thinking about years from now.

I liked the use of static cameras and the recurrent motif of our hero walking through the streets with the camera on her front. And I was more satisfied that usual with how it displayed psychodelics.

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Moonrise Kingdom (2012)

It's amazing to me how much I like this movie. Sure, I love Wes Anderson's work, but movies about preteen love and such obvious French New Wave debts usually rub me the wrong way and this is both! So why is it so great? I hate 12yrolds kissing!

I guess what it comes down to is that, in the end, I just believe Wes in a way I don't believe Truffaut (for instance). I think he means it. I find him sincere. The artificiality of his imagery is a tunnel to truth, and that gets me to overcome even these burdens. The colors and the delivery and the cuts and the pans and the angles and the music and the sound mix and the miniatures and the costumes—it all adds up to something straight from the soul, and that I cannot not appreciate.

And so I do.

ELSEWHERE
Prime Video

A Midsummer Night's Dream (2017)

Of the six options I brought to students, this is the one I gave my lowest expectations. (Or maybe this one, but it was close.) But, in fact, I kinda loved it.

It's a modern-day Shakespeare which can really be good or bad, but it dived right in with terrific wit. The script employs lots of lines from other plays (a tradition that goes back at least to Baz Luhrman's Romeo + Juliet) but it does it particularly well and with particular wit. The most blatant one (and perhaps least clever and perhaps also most delightful) was a 2B-or-not-2B bit. And it delights in the anachronism of modern-day Shakespeare—one I particularly liked (though the subtitlers missed the joke) was calling the phone AI Sirrah rather than Siri. Clever. And sensible. A fine and tiny gag.

For me, the movie stalled out in the forest, but the conclusion was also pure entertainment.

Part of the problem is that I found Puck utterly without interest and part of the problem is that the monochrome forest scenes while a cool idea, just rendered the screen...plain—uninteresting to look at once you're accustomed to everything being red.

It's always interesting to see what new ideas for line delivery a new production might employ. For instance, I liked Demetrius giving his lines about falling back in love with Helena in private to Helena. That was a nice.

Lastly, I loved how deliriously SoCal the whole thing is. Lots of examples, but the overtanned and oversurgeried Hippolyta was perhaps the most subtle example.

Happy to have laughed this much.

ps: young gen z dismisses the humor as "millennial"

ELSEWHERE
Prime Video

A Midsummer Night's Dream (2016)

Gen Z has had it with stuff from the Teens. This too is very "of its time" (meaning ten years ago) and they found it hard to like. THAT SAID, they absolutely enjoyed every bonkers moment of this adaptation and they had a LOT to say when it was over.

In this one, Theseus is a heavily Nazi-coded fascist and Hippolyta is imprisoned like a magical Hannibal Lector. And that's just for starters.

I admire how British television just embraces bonkers effects without too much concern how they mesh. That said, this is cleaner than, say, the Terry Pratchett things I've watched.

As for me, I loved it. It's absolutly bananas but it's wholeheartedly engaged with its bananiness and so I am as well. Every other scene brought a startling and unexpected surprise even though I know perfectly well what comes next, according to the text.

One of Gen Z's complaints is its awkward attempts at being diverse, but, man, this play was hella queer to start with. That that freak flag fly, Midsummer. Let it fly.

ELSEWHERE
Kanopy

Julie Taymor's A Midsummer Night's Dream (2014)

This is my favorite.

Generally, if I'm watching a movie, I prefer a movie to a filmed play, but they did an excellent job with the cameras and editing here. And Taymor's mindaltering imagery and blocking is just terrific all the way through. Kathryn Hunter is, of course, a deliciously weird Puck. The king and queen of the fairies are regal to the point of godly and the rude mechanicals are freshly modern in their funny. My only real complaint is that Theseus sounded so much like Matt Berry I couldn't figure out if he was trying to be funny or not.

I've liked all the Midsummers I've watched the last couple weeks but, again, this is my favorite.

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Because of Winn-Dixie (2005)

The 9yrold's teacher just finished reading this in class and, by a bizarre coincidence, the same day we discovered the dvd in our collection. The universe is looking out for her.

She was (naturally) hyperconcerned with slight changes but overall she liked the movie.

It's...not that great. It's not bad! don't get me wrong! but it's just a typical family film with some of the eyerollers we associate with the genre.

But I definitely liked it, if for no other reason because we get to see elderly Eva Marie Saint and Cicely Tyson plying their trade. The former didn't get much to do, but Cicely Tyson worked her scenes like nobody's business. On the other side of the spectrum you get a 6yrold Elle Fanning. It's the darn circle of life.

I was surprised by the tiny amount of magical realism (the candy made with sugar and sorrow) and kinda wished this smiling dog had pulled a Mary Poppins and just vamoosed at the end of the movie.

But you can't get everything you want.

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Peacock

Please Don't Destroy: The Treasure of Foggy Mountain (2023)

"Therefore we must judge a [comedy] not by the author’s intent, or by the mere mechanics of the plot; but by the [hilarity] level which it attains at its least mundane point." --- H. P. Lovecraft

Look: it's not a good movie. But, by Lovecraft's standard, its a terrific comedy. Because there were some moments I laughed a lot. And those are redemptive.

Largely, the movie's an awkward transition from sketch to feature, but let'm try again, says me and Lovecraft.

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The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie (2004)

Remarkable little film. Genuinely scary, utterly stupid, truly funny, and somehow feelgood. I mean—isn't that as much as one may reasonably ask of a cartoon movie?

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Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang (2010)

It's amazing the dvds that turn up in our collection. Where did it come from? Anyway, eight months after the then8yrold and I watched movie one, here we go again.

(Incidentally, yes, our dvd has the American title. I don't know that the British title is better, but it's less boring than Nanny McPhee Returns.)

These are curious movies. Obviously, she's in the Mary Poppins vein, but Nanny McPhee has quite different ideas about ethics—compromising other characters' agency, for instance. The nature of time and place is also peculiar. And the tie-in with the first movie is also surprising. And the nature and democracy of the world's magic requires attention and uncovering. It's asking similar questions as Mary Poppins about appearance and character but coming at it from an opposite direction. And it has surprising (and uncredited) stars in R**** F****** and E*** M*******! But some of the minor characters are the most exciting. The two scary women for instance: amazing.

In the end, they're charming movies and I'm glad to watch them but they're no one-two like, say, Babe or the first two Paddington movies. But what is?

HOME
Peacock

Bugonia (2025)

The closing credits are the best part of the movie. Normally this would be an insult but these closing credits are, visually and aurally, wonderful.

That said, I didn't like the movie. It was very compelling up top, but the last act was filled with twists like someone was making fun of the worst excesses of M. Night Shyamalan having only heard Twitter haters talk about M. Night Shyamalan.

Without his track record with excellent weird movies, I don't know that such good actors would have signed up for this nonsense.

Beautiful cinematography and knitwear though!

THEATER
Alamo Drafthouse Cinema New Mission

The Bride! (2026)

I get people's complaints but if "The Monster Mash" did not reveal to you that Maggie Gyllenhaal knew exactly what she was doing, I mean, come on. Yes she did.

I'll grant it's a mad film. Honestly, could've used a couple more honest eyes on the script before going into production. But it was great! I wasn't always sure what was happening or why, but I was very happy to be along for the ride.

And what a great film to watch the day after Jessie Buckley won for Hamnet. Even though I could not recognize her as the same woman to save my life even knowing it was her.

Plus, I appreciate that this too rewards familiarity with the Whale movies, with the novel, with a huge grabbag of relevant popculture history. That was fun. Thank you.

ELSEWHERE × 3
Prime Video

Die Hard (1988)

After learning that Die Hard is "based" on Midsummer Night's Dream, I knew I had to teach Midsummer and then sic the kids on Die Hard. Allegedly, after rereading Midsummer, the screenwriter reduced the action from three nights to one and had a couple new ways to think about the film:

Anyway, the students naturally found a lot more than just this Aristotelian time limit. They have the option to write about it tomorrow and I'm excited to see what they come up with.

It's always enlightening to watch a movie three times back to back (half one, half one, half one, half two, half two, half two). You can notice slight errors (Karl's hand keeping him alive ain't the next time we see him; Holly blouse rips open during a single cut), intentional motifs (John checking out hostess/airportgirl/sexycoworker/nextdoorneighbor/pinupposters, broken glass). Doesn't mean I know what to do with all that stuff, but this is a movie that holds up to close inspection. Lots of smart decisions that are easy to miss when watching it only every third Christmas.

But I think this may be why Die Hard holds up so well: it embraces being part of the One Story. It embraces being a Shakespearean comedy, it embraces being a Christ story—but, less highbrow, it embraces being a mashup or genre pieces as well: cop, action, buddy, etc.

Good movie.

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Peacock

Ticket to Paradise (2022)

• I'm guessing the screenwriters laid out all their favorite beats and moved them around in circles until they found an order that felt good.

• I was just listening to an episode of Pop Culture Happy Hour about the magical challenge of casting and I think that might be part of the problem, even with Julia Roberts and George Clooney and Kaitlyn Dever.

• It feels like an advertisement for Bali even though all the big geographical taxbreak logos at the end are for Australia. And it really did make me want to go to Bali. Sorry, Australia. I think you got ripped off.

• Almost nothing in this movie works (but not nothing! a couple moments play!), which feels like such a waste. Somehow, this bad movie makes me sadder.

• Was the primary motivation just wish-fulfillment for kids of divorce?

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our dvd

Nanny McPhee (2005)

I have complaints about removing agency in order to teach but the character work and certain lines are simply incredible.

Even only half paying attention and missing twenty-some minutes in the middle I teared up with some frequency.

The 9yrold prefers the sequel as the dancing pigs are funner.

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our dvd

Robin Hood (1973)

The first half is not that well paced, it's true. But the second half is perfect. The music throughout is excellent. The voice work is terrific (and probably more period-accurate than Errol Flynn, truth be told).

Those looking to hate will find reason to, but the pacing is tight and once it finds its rhythm it's excellent and haters ought let themselves be won over.

Part of the trick is that it manages to create high stakes even though no one dies.

Since last seeing this, I've watched too many YouTube videos about how either this movie is great or how portions of it are great and I just cannot disagree.

HOME
library dvd

The Terminator (1984)

I wonder if the production company being named 1984 Cinema '84 meant anything.

The sex scene isn't really sexy but if I ever remembered the shots of Linda Hamilton's breasts I'd probably hesitate on showing this to teenage boys. Too late. (Again.)

It does feel old now but it's still good. And once you embrace the idea of paradoxes all the way down, no worries!

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library dvd

The Fantastic Four: First Steps (2025)

We wanted to see this because of the cool midcentury visuals. Not sad we missed paying twenty bucks to see it because that's about all it had going for it. The script is an absolute mess. The edit is a disaster. Only Vanessa Kirby does anything interesting and that might only be in comparison.

It's a bad movie.

They didn't learn from all the bad things that have been done in previous Marvel movies and they didn't learn from all the good things that have been done in previous Marvel movies and they certainly didn't learn anything from The Incredibles (other than who to hire to write the score).

It's not good.

None of the characters make sense, from the heros to the bystanders. It's a disaster. More's the pity.

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Peacock

Song Sung Blue (2025)

It's Certified Fresh but it doesn't surprise me that the audience score is 20% higher, almost perfect. It's a crowd-pleaser if any movie ever was.

The film is well made though I don't think it's perfect enough to become a classic. (I like what Josh Larson said: "Writer-director Craig Brewer...does more veering that [sic] navigating.") But Kate Hudson and Hugh Jackman are both incredible. Perfection from them both. And, in the last half of the movie, the same can be said of Ella Anderson and King Princess.

I thought this was just going to be a fun, feelgood, ragstoriches story—plucky nobodies make good! And they do make good. More than I had even guessed. But oh, it's not so easy. There is pain. There is suffering. There are the absurd slings and arrows of fortune. But it's lovely and beautifully and, ultimately, life- and art-affirming.

(Foreigners will definitely read this movie as a damning commentary on the American healthcare system. And they will be right.)

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our dvd

Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)

The T-1000 looks just as good as the Silver Surfer in last years Fantastic Four. I'll leave it up to you whether that is a compliment for T2 or a knock on FF.

The movie's great and, had the studios known enough to leave well enough alone, this would have been one of the great one-two punches in movie-franchise history.

One question: Had Linda Hamilton spent the last seven years working on her arms and shoulders?

You know, if Robert Patrick had been ten years younger ten years later, he would have made a great elf (and not had to be the one falling into the lava). And being an elf probably would have been better for his future as a leading man.

Previous films watched. . . .