Svithe: What (else) Elder Jensen said

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(Metaïntroductory note: Apparently --- and I didn't know this --- but apparently it is typical, when a General Authority [innermetanote: I'm going deep with the unexplained Mormon terms again] attends a stake conference, for the General Authority to hold a special meeting the morning of the general session for a select group of invited memmbers. The last visiting authority to our stake was Bishop McMullin and he met with recently baptized members [why I wasn't invited and thus remained ignorant]. This time, Elder Jensen met with member of our stake who may have been particularly wounded or troubled by Prop 8. I'm not sure how Lady Steed and I ended up on the invite list as we doubt we were "particularly" affected, but we did and we weren't going to miss it. So we packed up our kids and let them play baseball in a room elsewhere in the building while we sat near the back of the baptistery.)

(Introductory note: The format of the meeting began with the stake president discussing the history of the stake's efforts to heal after Prop 8 [cf]), then he invited those in attendance to speak frankly, taking turns at the front. People talked primarily about their pain and confusion related to the Church's handling of Prop 8 directly or about their pain and confusion related to being gay and Mormon, gay and formerly Mormon, or being closely related to such a person. This part of the meeting went, as you might imagine, long. I ended up not standing up because the personal stories hit all my points, but if I had taken the chance to speak, there are three things I don't understand which I would've loved to have addressed: 1. I don't understand the scriptural (canonical) basis for the Church's policy against homosexuality. Few doctrines with that amount of scriptural basis do we bother adhering to. 2. Even if homosexuality is a dire sin, I don't understand how preventing suchlike from entering legally sanctioned committed relationships will result in a net moral loss for society at large. 3. I wonder where the Church will go now, because the court case was an utter debacle --- it's hard to imagine how Prop 8 proponents could have lost worse or more thoroughly. Legally, it's over. So will the Church continue to engage in a lost battle or . . . what's our plan exactly? But anyway, people's pain and tears covered those points, just not as succinctly. After these stories, Elder Jensen rose to speak.)

Trust is my stock in trade as a General Authority and I don't want to lose it but I do want to use it for those I can help in my ministry.

The Lord expects better of us. (By which he meant that members who behaved uncharitably toward the gay community during 2008 etc are not to be commended.)

The Church has learned from its Prop-8 experience and will likely handle things differently in the future, ala Argentina.

(Concluding note: I did not take many notes during this meeting. Elder Jensen made some comments that made me feel that to record a large percentage of his words would be inappropriate. So in conclusion, near the beginning of his words, he apologized directly and personally and forthrightly and emotionally for the pain that was caused to so many during the campaign. His sincerity could not be doubted and I heard many sobs from those in attendance. Clearly, Elder Jensen is not in a position to change doctrine or even apologize for it [this was not the nature of his apology], but having witnessed the meeting, I think that the real purpose of the meeting was to give the downtrodden the chance to feel heard and understood and loved, and in that respect I think the meeting was a stirring success.)

(Postconcluding note: In the general session of stake conference, our stake president spoke on the meaning of the scripture Charity Seeketh Not Her Own. I've meant to svithe* on this before but haven't yet, but the gist is that, in context, the scripture is clearly teaching us that those with charity to not cleave only unto people like unto themselves, but unto those wholly different as well. And so, as his final example of charity seeking not her own, he told of a recent dinner he had with a couple, both lapsed Mormons, who desire to return to the faith. Their daughter ran around the house as they and the stake president and his wife spoke together. Then he asked us is our stake had room for a couple of lapsed Mormons. Answer: Yes. For charity seeketh not her own. And what if this couple is unmarried. Is their room in our stake for them then? Yes. For charity seeketh not her own. And if they are of the same gender? Have we room for them then? Yes. For charity seeketh not her own.)

*I've been a lazy svither
lately, ergo this multi-
part svithe. Call it the
beginnings of my eventual
redemption. Kaybye.



yesterday's svithe

Priesthood Leadership (mostly on women)
Early Sunday Morning (mostly on Mormon/gay relations)
Sunday Morning (mostly on trees)
Sunday Evening Fireside (mostly on Church History)

Svithe: What Elder Jensen said

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Elder Marlin K. Jensen is visiting our stake this weekend. Currently, Lady Steed is attending the adult session while I type and listen to kids not make noise. This afternoon, however, I was able to sit in another meeting with Elder Jensen and I thought a number of his comments were striking. Here are some:

(Preïntroductory note: In writing the introductory note, I realized that this post would be heavily heavily Mormon --- too Mormon to easily annotate. So, for those 5.99 billion who are not Mormon, please advance with that in mind. Sorry for the opacity.)

(Introductory note: Before Elder Jensen spoke, a member of our stake presidency spoke and his primary concern was how, in a naturally patriarchal church [no women in attendance at this meeting, for instance], it is important that women's voices are heard. Among other points, pointed out that quantitywise, practically all revelation Churchwide is personal revelation and therefore women receive half the revelation in the Church. Also, that a ward's Relief Society president is not the bishop's Relief Society president, but the Relief Society president and should be viewed as a source of counsel, not someone to give jobs too. He noted that another member of the stake presidency, when bishop, had the Relief Society in attendance at PEC. Etc. Elder Jensen began by following up on these ideas.)

(Postintroductory note: Nothing I type here should be construed as being a perfect quotation. Everything is close and everything matches the spirit of what he said, but few if any are word-for-word as he said. Be advised. Some are even obviously my retelling of his stories. Be sensible before repeating any of this.)

There are no kings without queens, no priests without priestesses.

And no presidents without presidentesses. Which was what Eliza R. Snow was called. Though somehow we have gotten away from that.

To be faithful is good. To be competent also is better.

Elder Marion D. Hanks: I've been to the statistics factory. I know how they're made.

Once at a Tuesday-after-General-Conference training with the Seventies, Elder Packer said that he had seen one of the Seventy that weekend being unkind to his wife. He then said that he had lost respect for that Seventy, but was confident it could be regained. Elder Jensen naturally thought of the disciples asking "Lord, is it I?" and during a break called his wife to ask he had been unkind to his wife that weekend? publicly? She said no and he was relieved.

His wife: You would be so odd if it weren't for me.

His wife: What happened to those nice short talks you used to give?
He: Well, I'm older now. I feel like I should share what I've learned.
She: Well don't.

Spouse as peer-reviewer.

Elder Packer has also said that the three most important developments he has seen in the Church are the 1978 revelation on the priesthood, the roughly-the-same-time release of the LDS versions of the scriptures, and the evolution of the Seventies. He says that he would now like to see elders quorums develop as the seventies already have --- not in the same way, but towards a more complete measure of their intended duties.

Elder Jensen's father: It takes a mighty good meeting to be better than no meeting at all.

previous svithe

Priesthood Leadership (mostly on women)
Early Sunday Morning (mostly on Mormon/gay relations)
Sunday Morning (mostly on trees)
Sunday Evening Fireside (mostly on Church History)

The Doodle Family: Pucker

Pucker Doodle is the shyest of the Doodle boys, but he knows what he likes. If you know what I mean.

Step six: Roll the Doodle doughballs in a mixture of 1T sugar to 1t amchoor powder. But before you start mixing, fiddle with that mixture to taste. For every 2 or 3ts of amchoor, add one more t. And every 3 or 3Ts of sugar, throw in a t of sour salt (crystallized citric acid).

The amchoor makes it sour and fruity but the citric acid adds punch. A number of people told me eating Puckers was like eating Sour Patch Kids (buy ten pounds! why not!) which, as an old fan, I found quite the compliment.

I've received more positive comments on Puckers than any other of the Doodle brothers and Pucker is my personal favorite of the new flavors as well. In my opinion, it's the most addictive. Which is good, right? I think?

Coming Soon!
Doodle Family DNA
Snicker Doodle
Skorcher Doodle
Porker Doodle
Pucker Doodle

The Doodle Family: Porker

Porker's the wild man at the party, hip with a chat and a laff and a slap on the back. Soon as you see him coming, pump up the volume.

Step six: Roll the Doodle doughballs in a mixture of 1T and 1t of sugar to 1t Bacon Salt.

Of all four Doodle brothers, Porker is unquestionably the favorite of the Big O (age six) and Large S (age three). Our home cookie stash ran out of Porkers before running out of anything else.

It's curious how smoky and savory it can be, yet still be a delicious cookie. While last year's -bacon chocolate-chip cookies were good (and also hugely popular with my kids), I think these are better. Improving my bacon-cookie brand, year by year, I am Theric.

Coming Soon!
Doodle Family DNA
Snicker Doodle
Skorcher Doodle
Porker Doodle
Pucker Doodle

The Doodle Family: Skorcher

Skorcher's a dangerous fellow. He's been known to make people grasp their throats, he's made little girls scream in pain and fright. But: he's totally charming.

Step six: Roll the Doodle doughballs in a mixture of 1T sugar to 1t cayenne. This is easily scaled of course, for every T add a t, upwards or downwards.


One thing worth adding though is that Lady Steed and I have the some incredibly hot cayenne. As you read above, cayenne's supposed to top out at 50,000 scovilles but that's were Tabasco tops out and these cookies were hotter than any Tabasco I've ever used. 


If I make Skorchers again (and I might because they did taste good) I plan to double the sugar. Right now, only masochists such as myself are capable of enjoying these cookies.

Coming Soon!
Doodle Family DNA
Snicker Doodle
Skorcher Doodle
Porker Doodle
Pucker Doodle

The Doodle Family: Snicker

Snicker's the happiest of the Doodle boys always there with a joke and smile and a teehee and a haha. A jolly young gentleman is Snicker; a jolly young gentleman he. With a smile on his lips and charm head to hips to his toes he is smiling and free.

Step six: Roll the Doodle doughballs in a mixture of 1T sugar to 1t cinnamon (or cassia, as the case may be). This is easily scaled of course, for every T add a t, upwards or downwards.

Coming Soon!
Doodle Family DNA
Snicker Doodle
Skorcher Doodle
Porker Doodle
Pucker Doodle

The Doodle Family: Basic DNA

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Every September in the Berkeley Ward, we hold a New Member Dinner / Men's Cookoff. The cookoff is a surprisingly intense competition and all the families who've moved in during the last twelvemonth make a poster about themselves to help us get to know them.

This year I entered the dessert competition with the Doodle Family.

Today I'll share with you basic Doodle genetics and through the rest of the week I'll introduce you to the four Doodle brothers, using the same basic materials I used in making a fake new-family poster to advertise the goods.

I used this recipe for Mrs. Sigg's from allrecipes.com because it had over 2500 ratings averaging nearly five and over 30,000 had saved the recipe. These looked like good signs. Also, interesting fact, this is the first time I've used shortening in my entire adult life.

The recipe [my alterations]:

1/2 cup butter, softened
1/2 cup shortening
1 1/2 cups white sugar
2 eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract [but splosh in more than this to the sound of about another t]
2 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons cream of tartar
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt

Step one: Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C).
[Actually, given our oven, I set it at 350.]

Step two: Cream together butter, shortening, cups sugar, the eggs and the vanilla.

Step three: Blend together the flour, cream of tartar, soda and salt; then add to the creamed stuff.

[Step four: Fridgerate it for a few days, tempting wife and children.]

Step five: Shape dough into [little] balls.

[Step six: (see the individual brothers)]

Step seven: Bake [6] minutes.

Come back tomorrow to meet the most famous of the Doodle brothers, Snicker!

Coming Soon!
Doodle Family DNA
Snicker Doodle
Skorcher Doodle
Porker Doodle
Pucker Doodle

Coming Soon to Thutopia: The Doodle Family!

Coming Soon!
Doodle Family DNA
Snicker Doodle
Skorcher Doodle
Porker Doodle
Pucker Doodle

Holy guacamole! Have you seen the fiction in the new issue of Irreantum?

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I think sometimes people don't believe me when I say that Irreantum is one of my two favorite literary rags; I can understand this --- after all, I'm a big booster of Mormon letters so it makes sense that I would want people to engage either way. But I'm not lying. Irreantum is, to the best of my knowledge, one of the two best literary journals going (I'm only talking about fiction here, by the way; other forms are necessarily secondary in my mind) (and the other of the two, incidentally, is One Story) (though it's been slipping lately and Irreantum, as we shall see, is getting better).

Three stories in this issue. Let's talk about them in pager order, which also happens to be the ascending order of excellence.

A Confession by Lisa Madsen Rubilar

Although my weariness for rural Utah fiction remains officially in place, two stories this issue made me forgiven them that sin, this being the first. A man, nearing death, commits to paper a defining series of events earlier in his life, in which a man he loved stole irrigation water from him and in which he saw an angel. I'll admit that part of the reason I originally conceived of an angel story myself was because of discussions (one example) that challenged me to do so. Because angel stories often suck. But this one did not. It was complex and uncertain and the main character never quite knew what the angel's appearance meant. Which makes angels like real life. Which means angels can be part of real life. Which is part of the Mormon challenge.

When We Remembered Zion by Thom Duncan

Like angel stories, Second Coming stories can, as a general rule, be assumed to suck. And while Duncan's story could be accused of sidestepping some of the most challenging tropes of the genre (Where, for instance, is Jesus?), he doesn't make any missteps when it comes to the story he is trying to tell. We're back in rural Utah, this time postapocalypse. A small band of Saints is alone and abandoned by the rest of the world (though that may be all for the better, given the violence of the past) when the hierarchy starts breaking down. A barely pubescent boy and girl fall in love while their mothers experience something called the Vision. The story dips into magic realism in subtle and appropriate ways and left me with a feeling of dizzy delight. One recommendation, when you get to the final page, be sure to cover the last line with your hand to keep from accidentally reading it before arriving there. Because as charmed as I was with the story, I was absolutely left weak by the utterly perfect last line. Don't miss it.

The Man and His Wife by Lon Young

This is Young's first published fiction and a couple moments of awkwardness in handling the diary entries and the movie memories are in play. But ultimately, those minor slips do not register because the story is absolutely astonishing --- one of my favorites in recent memory. Rarely have I seen such blatant symbolism handled with such subtlety and simplicity. Young clearly trusts his readers. Plus, it was nice to see nudity used as a positive symbol for a change. Hoo. I can feel my heart speeding up (not because of the nudity). I'm just so excited about the story told here. I've not heard this deliriously Mormon story told before but I suspect that everyone who does read it will have a hard time not writing their own imitation. It's just that bright and shiny and original. Beautiful stuff.

I have about forty more pages to read, but that's it for the fiction. I've read three of the essays (one engages is absolutely every technique that has made me sick of creative nonfiction, one is brilliant, and one is really good) and I've read the poetry (I didn't get Papworth's or Eggertsen's, but quite liked Babcock's and Chadwick's).

If I have anything else to say as I continue to read, I'll add it to the comments.

Oh. And nice cover, by the way. I didn't scan it, but here's an ittybitty rendition from their website. Click to subscribe. (That's an order.)

In defense of labor

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I understand that unions are part of the problem that many California cities are in danger of bankruptcy, and that fair wages and decent benefits are part of the reason schools are in trouble.

But.

Let's be fair.

The reason America's in the tanker now has nothing to do with unions. It's the fatcats sinking banks and taking huge bonuses. Imagine what schools could do with 10% of Wall Street's bonuses.

Micah 6:8 (svithe)

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The Lord hath shewed thee what is good.

And what doth the Lord require of thee,
but to do justly,
to love mercy,
and to walk humbly with thy God?

previous svithe

Next Five Books, yo (ugly and illegible Paint edition)

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040) The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins, finished September 1


Finally! I'm not too late the zeitgeist!

The book's about everything you've heard. Even I, who never rush through books anymore, rushed through this book. Even I, who never stays up late in an attempt to finish a book, stayed up late attempting to finish a book last night.

The book is imperfect however. After the natural conclusion, Collins attempted to introduce a secondary climax which fizzled, though I suppose it may matter in later books. I hope it does.

SPOILER PARAGRAPH: My other major complaint is that none of the heroic characters are made to murder another heroic character. That was the great moral complexity the book promised but utterly failed to deliver on. And while I suppose that was nice, it does make me wonder if the author's nervous of going to the truly dark places. And if she's afraid to go there, where else will she be afraid of going?

Anyway, I'm planning on reading the other two as well. (It's great getting books from the school library before it opens for students.)

three days



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039) Buy Ketchup in May and Fly at Noon: A Guide to the Best Time to Buy This, Do That and Go There by Mark Di Vincenzo, finished August 28


Lately, trips to the inlaws have resulted in interesting library books to peruse. I read all the When-is-it-best-to questions and a goodly percentage of the answers. And ever since (it's been a couple days now) I've been quoting salient and worthwhile facts. I want to get a copy of this book and share all the education-related ones with my students and just to have on hand next time I'm thinking about buying a refrigerator.

And, incidentally, buy ketchup in May because it's cheapest then, not freshest. Whatever you might mean by fresh Heinz.

(More tips from Vince, only online.)

an afternoon and evening



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038) Bluebeard by Kurt Vonnegut, finished August 25


Perhaps if this was your first Vonnegut book you might be suitably impressed, but otherwise you're apt to think, well, themes copied from this book and this books, narrative voice renewed from this book and this book.

So, in other words, not one of his best. But still enjoyable. Made me want to read Breakfast of Champions again since a) they share characters and b) I don't really remember it at all.

about a month



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037) In the Void by Michael R. Collings, finished August 21


When I first read Michael Collings --- in Irreantum --- it was one of those rare moments when a poem opens up and speaks to me as reader as if written in the moment for my eyes. I doubt this has happened ten times in my life, but it does happen and this was such an experience.

So when he sent me a copy earlier this year (full disclosure) I was happy to dig in. Particularly because I believe "genre" poetry has potential and I've never really seen it done well.

And this book's full title is, after all, In the Void: Poems of Science Fiction, Myth and Fantasy, & Horror.

Digression:

Another example of opening poetry occurred shortly after my high-school graduation in the pages of The New Yorker --- a poem about a snowman by Sparrow. I later had more indepth experiences with Sparrow while carrying a Sun subscription and found him half bore, half blowhard. But, then again, no way he could live up to the mythologized late-adolescent experience he had catalyzed.

I've had a similar experience with this book. I have enjoyed it. I've found numerous poems I plan to introduce to my students. I had some laughs and I had some dark smiles. I can recommend the book without reservation. I did not lose myself and rediscover myself in a new country.

But it's not fair to expect that from every book --- even one written by someone who has reached those heights before. SO let me leave you with a snippet:

....to dine, to surfeit on web-wrapped parts— the crimson spider at their heart.

about four months



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036) Three Men on the Bummel by Jerome K. Jerome, finished August 18


This I think, will be the final book I read on the Kindle before returning it. I downloaded it as a mobi from Gutenberg and it worked like a charm.

This book is the sequel to one of my all-time favorite books and while not as fully engaging as Three Men in a Boat, it was still mostly good. Some dry storyless patches in the middle where he just goes on and on about Germany (something he swore he would not do), but still worth a read.

What was heartbreaking though, was to read the Wikipedia article and learn that his companions in these two books, Harris and George, are not real. In fact, he had taken these vacations with his wife. I sputter impotently in disbelief. I wonder if Connie Willis knows.....

In the final chapters, his analysis of preWorld-Wars Germany is wonderful and delightful but also clearly primed for Nazis.

I wonder if this book is still as popular as it once was in German English-language classrooms and if so what the current generation thinks of the book.

Let's share a couple passages, shall we?

JKJ on being an early adopter:

I agree in trying new experiments up to thirty-five; after thirty-five I consider a man is entitled to think of himself.

JKJ correctly predicts the new lingua franca:

In the course of the century, I am inclined to think that Germany will solve her difficulty in this respect by speaking English. Every boy and girl in Germany, above the peasant class, speaks English. Were English pronunciation less arbitrary, there is not the slightest doubt but that in the course of a very few years, comparatively speaking, it would become the language of the world. All foreigners agree that, grammatically, it is the easiest language of any to learn. A German, comparing it with his own language, where every word in every sentence is governed by at least four distinct and separate rules, tells you that English has no grammar. A good many English people would seem to have come to the same conclusion; but they are wrong. As a matter of fact, there is an English grammar, and one of these days our schools will recognise the fact, and it will be taught to our children, penetrating maybe even into literary and journalistic circles. But at present we appear to agree with the foreigner that it is a quantity neglectable. English pronunciation is the stumbling-block to our progress. English spelling would seem to have been designed chiefly as a disguise to pronunciation. It is a clever idea, calculated to check presumption on the part of the foreigner; but for that he would learn it in a year.

JKJ on why Germans became the bane of the Twentieth Century:

Their everlasting teaching is duty. It is a fine ideal for any people; but before buckling to it, one would wish to have a clear understanding as to what this "duty" is. The German idea of it would appear to be: "blind obedience to everything in buttons." It is the antithesis of the Anglo-Saxon scheme; but as both the Anglo-Saxon and the Teuton are prospering, there must be good in both methods. Hitherto, the German has had the blessed fortune to be exceptionally well governed; if this continue, it will go well with him. When his troubles will begin will be when by any chance something goes wrong with the governing machine.

perhaps a month perhaps less



Previously in 2010 . . . . :

• First Five • Second Five • Third Five • Fourth Five • Fifth Five • Sixth Five • Seventh Five •

035) Utah: Sex and Travel Guide by Calvin Grondahl, finished August 10
034) E Pluribus Unicorn by Theodore Sturgeon, finished August 9
033) The Complete Peanuts, 1971 to 1972 by Charles M. Schulz, finished August 6
032) I Am Not a Serial Killer by Dan Wells, finished August 6
031) Rogue Clone by Steven L. Kent, finished July 26
030) Servant of a Dark God by John Brown, finished July 21
029) Drink Me, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Blog by James Goldberg, finished June 9
028) Out of the Mount (tentative title) edited by Davey Morrison, finished June 8
027) Madman Boogaloo! by Mike Allred, Mike Baron, Bernie Mireault, Steve Rude; finished June 2
026) The Education of Robert Nifkin by Daniel Pinkwater, finished May 22
025) True Grit by Charles Portis, finished May 21
024) Old Man's War by John Scalzi, finished May 15
023) Pandora's Nightmare: Horror Unleashed, finished May 13
022) Anthem by Ayn Rand, finished May 11
021) Look! It's Jesus!: Amazing Holy Visions in Everyday Life by Harry Choron and Sandra Choron, finished May 9
020) Travels in the Scriptorium: A Novel by Paul Auster, finished May 5
019) Suburban Folklore by Steven Walters, finished May 4
018) The Lonely Polygamist by Brady Udall, finished April 30
017) Gracie: A Love Story by George Burns by George Burns, finished April 20
016) The Autobiography of Malcolm X as told to Alex Haley, finished April 15
015) Dispensation: Latter-Day Fiction edited by Angela Hallstrom, finished March 24
014) The Best American Comics 2009 edited by Charles Burns, finished March 22
013) Icon: A Hero's Welcome by Dwayne McDuffie and MD Bright, finished March 17
012) There's Treasure Everywhere by Bill Watterson, finished March 15
011) Static Shock: Rebirth of the Cool. Finished right at midnight between March 13 and 14
010) Teen Titans: Year One by Amy Wolfram et al, finished March 7
009) The Complete Calvin and Hobbes, Book One by Bill Watterson, finished March 6
008) Apparition & Late Fictions: A Novella and Stories by Thomas Lynch, finished March 5
007) Stone Rabbit #1: BC Mambo by Erik Craddock, finished March 2
006) The Selected Works of T. S. Spivet by Reif Larsen, finished February 23
005) Missile Mouse 2 by Jake Parker (MS POLICY), finished February 5
004) Heroes of the Fallen by David J. West, finished February 4
003) Still Life in Milford by Thomas Lynch, finished January 19
002) Rapunzel's Revenge by Hales Shannon Dean and Nathan, finished January 16
001) Mormoniana by Mormon Artists Group, finished January 13

"17 Facts About Angels"

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Hooray for me.

I received an honorable mention from the Irreantum Fiction Contest, and two judges have contacted me saying I made judges cry. (Frankly, I think making Angela Hallstrom cry is a good life goal. So let's add that to my list and then check it off.)

Goldberg!

I like James Goldberg and I think he's an incredible writer. But the rules of engagement require that I now treat him as an enemy.

Karen!

My friend Karen Rosenbaum picked up some prize money as well. I first met her when she edited my story "The Widower" for Dialogue. I've since moved into her ward which, I suspect, makes our ward the best represented in the Irreantum contest. Berkeley Ward pride! Yay!

Notes

See the full list of winners here.

Letting someone else write a svithe on the "Ground Zero" mosque

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I've been wanting to write this, but Randy just took care of it.




last week's svithe

Classic Svithes: Eccelsiastical Svithery

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INTRODUCTION:

As you may have noticed, I have not been on top of my weekly svithing lately. In order to resolve this issue, I plan on dipping into the archives and bringing back svithes you a) probably haven't read and b) even if you did read it, you don't remember it. This week I'm bringing back the first classical svithe.

This svithe is apropos because today in Sunday School we discussed Ecclesiastes which, as you should know if you do not already, is awesome.

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Eccelsiastical Svithery

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Someday I will go through the book of Ecclesiastes and write a long, long essay--maybe even a short book--on why I love it so much. Someday is not today, but I feel like touching briefly on its themes so I'm going to go ahead and do just that. For I am a wild-eyed libertarian.

What drives me crazy is how people dismiss Ecclesiastes as a bunch of pessimistic drudgery. Not so! First of all, people who say that don't really mean pessimism at all--they mean fatalism. Like here:

. . . and if the tree fall toward the south, or toward the north, in the place where the tree falleth, there it shall be.

Trees fall.

Where they fall, there they are.

This is not pessimism. And it's not precisely fatalism either. If anything, it's kind of taoey. The message here is relax. Don't worry about things you can't control. The tree fell? So what? The tree fell and there it is. Move on. Only worry about what you can control.

Following immediately after Proverbs as it does, with all its maxims of be good be strong be able do your duty do your best do more et cetera, Ecclesiastes is a breath of fresh air. The Preacher is not relieving the Bible-reader of any responsibility, but he is giving permission not to despair when things don't turn out just right. Yeah, you should follow the good advice in Proverbs, but you know what? Even when you do,

. . . the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.

And that's frustrating. If I work the hardest, shouldn't I get the heftiest reward?

Sure you should. But it doesn't mean you will. And that's why the Preacher is always going on and on about vanity and death. Not because he's depressed or "pessimistic"--but to remind us that placing all our eggs in the basket of brilliant mortal success is nuts. Because we can't control that success.

What can we control, then? Is anything we do of worth? If I can work all my life and die a pauper, what's the point?

Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. For God shall bring every work into judgment . . . .

In other words, the point is to forget about these short term rewards--what Jesus terms "that which moth doth corrupt and which thieves can break through and steal"--and let's just do the best we can and stop worrying so much about consequences. After all,

He that observeth the wind shall not sow; and he that regardeth the clouds shall not reap.

So forget about the wind and the clouds and just do what you can.

That's not pessimism. That's a relaxed realism and I dig it.

Rejoice . . . and let thy heart cheer thee . . . walk in the ways of thine heart, and in the sight of thine eyes: but know thou, that for all these things God will bring thee into judgment. Therefore remove sorrow from thy heart, and put away evil from thy flesh . . . . Remember now thy Creator . . . .

And he will remember thee.




original "last week's svithe"

last week's svithe

Demonstration of The Letter L

.

Luh luh luh lollipop.
Luh luh luh lasagna.
Luh luh luh languid.
Luh luh luh leisurely.
Luh luh luh laughable.
Luh luh luh lethargic.
Luh luh luh lackadaisacal.
Luh luh luh Lenny.

El el el Paso.
El el el Elah Elahin.
El el el The El.
El el el Legos.
El el el Legolas
El el el Letter L.

Seventh Five Books Finished in 2010

.



035) Utah: Sex and Travel Guide by Calvin Grondahl, finished August 10


I'm disappointed by this little collection of panel cartoons. Most of the stuff could be transplanted to any other locale and much of the rest to most any other locale. Plus, so many divorce jokes! Why so many divorce jokes? And not particularly funny divorce jokes, but bitter angry divorce jokes.

Which is not to say that this book doens't have its laughs. And Lady Steed, who was just flipping through it, likes it much more than I do. So there's that.

not long



===========================================================



034) E Pluribus Unicorn by Theodore Sturgeon, finished August 9


I read the introduction to this book, set it aside for a few months then took it with me to Comic-Con where I read all but the final tale --- mostly while homeless.

The book is great. It offers one of the world's few good unicorn stories (they do exist!), some gay aliens (they do exist!) and a dizzying variety of voices and tones.

I finally have, after a year+'s hiatus, returned to read the last story and the timing is tremendous. It provided the sword to cut through the Gordian Knot for a project I'm currently working on.

Thank you, Mr Sturgeon!

If you're looking for genre short stories which prove genre's worth, this is a good place to start.

about sixteen months



===========================================================



033) The Complete Peanuts, 1971 to 1972 by Charles M. Schulz, finished August 6


Holy moly! What a cliffhanger!

Sorry, but this volume ended in the middle of the story, and the next volume's sitting there waiting for me on that shelf right over there, so I'm going to go grab it if you don't mind.

Thanks.

about five months



===========================================================



032) I Am Not a Serial Killer by Dan Wells, finished August 6


The second book finished in Experiment Kindle (and another pdf, this one very difficult to read) is also the most riveting book I've ever read.

(It's also a complete ripoff of me. Take one part "Happy St. Patrick's Day" and two parts my aborted reluctant teenage sociopath and you've got IANASK.)

I haven't had this much fun in a book for a while, and I can't remember the last time I turned pages so quickly. Everytime Lynsey took the Kindle to read Persuasion I wanted to, well, kill her. (I am not a serial killer.) (One will do me fine.) (He said hahahumurously.)

One of the most deeply flawed heros of all time, John Wayne Cleaver, is a kid that nature would have be a serial killer. He's trying to avoid that fate, but when a killer shows up in his hometown, the only way it can be stopped is if he kills him himself. And to do that, he must release his inner monster.

Great book. Don't miss it.

two or three weeks



===========================================================



031) Rogue Clone by Steven L. Kent, finished July 26


(You can tell I have not yet fully joined the future because I feel obliged to mention that I read this on a borrowed Kindle.)

The Kindle I'm borrowing has a bunch of these Clone books. I picked one at random to be my first Kindle experience. Rogue Clone is not the first in the series and I do not know how typical it is, but, honestly, it wasn't any good. It had good moments, but as a book it does not hold together. It was several stories smashed randomly together, ending more, it seems, for the convenience of the author rather than for the pleasure of the reader. Because let's be honest. While I could come up with convoluted artistic justification for this book's quirks, ultimately they are errors and failures because the book claims no purpose beyond entertaining a reader. So I didn't ask many things this book. But cohesion and good sense were two of those few.

monthish



Previously in 2010 . . . . :

• First Five • Second Five • Third Five • Fourth Five • Fifth Five • Sixth Five •

030) Servant of a Dark God by John Brown, finished July 21
029) Drink Me, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Blog by James Goldberg, finished June 9
028) Out of the Mount (tentative title) edited by Davey Morrison, finished June 8
027) Madman Boogaloo! by Mike Allred, Mike Baron, Bernie Mireault, Steve Rude; finished June 2
026) The Education of Robert Nifkin by Daniel Pinkwater, finished May 22
025) True Grit by Charles Portis, finished May 21
024) Old Man's War by John Scalzi, finished May 15
023) Pandora's Nightmare: Horror Unleashed, finished May 13
022) Anthem by Ayn Rand, finished May 11
021) Look! It's Jesus!: Amazing Holy Visions in Everyday Life by Harry Choron and Sandra Choron, finished May 9
020) Travels in the Scriptorium: A Novel by Paul Auster, finished May 5
019) Suburban Folklore by Steven Walters, finished May 4
018) The Lonely Polygamist by Brady Udall, finished April 30
017) Gracie: A Love Story by George Burns by George Burns, finished April 20
016) The Autobiography of Malcolm X as told to Alex Haley, finished April 15
015) Dispensation: Latter-Day Fiction edited by Angela Hallstrom, finished March 24
014) The Best American Comics 2009 edited by Charles Burns, finished March 22
013) Icon: A Hero's Welcome by Dwayne McDuffie and MD Bright, finished March 17
012) There's Treasure Everywhere by Bill Watterson, finished March 15
011) Static Shock: Rebirth of the Cool. Finished right at midnight between March 13 and 14
010) Teen Titans: Year One by Amy Wolfram et al, finished March 7
009) The Complete Calvin and Hobbes, Book One by Bill Watterson, finished March 6
008) Apparition & Late Fictions: A Novella and Stories by Thomas Lynch, finished March 5
007) Stone Rabbit #1: BC Mambo by Erik Craddock, finished March 2
006) The Selected Works of T. S. Spivet by Reif Larsen, finished February 23
005) Missile Mouse 2 by Jake Parker (MS POLICY), finished February 5
004) Heroes of the Fallen by David J. West, finished February 4
003) Still Life in Milford by Thomas Lynch, finished January 19
002) Rapunzel's Revenge by Hales Shannon Dean and Nathan, finished January 16
001) Mormoniana by Mormon Artists Group, finished January 13

I'm not sure if this reflects well on my parenting or not

.

The Big O said this tonight:

"Cigarettes aren't as bad as television."

Patriotism compels me

.

Yesterday was President Obama's birthday.

Sorry I missed it, man! Hope it was awesome!

Thbuzzkillsvithe

.

Yesterday Lady Steed and I were able to go to the temple, which is not something we get to do that often these days, what with small children who aren't allowed inside. Although that's actually one of the draws. But our ward provided babysitting and off we went.

That was good, though I think (at least for me) temple attendance increases in meaningfulness with frequency of worship. But it still made for a great start to the day. (After that we and the kids fed ducks so, you know, best day ever?)

Today was Fast Sunday. Only the Big O and I were at church as son-number-two had thrown up in the night. Perhaps that lack of baby-wrangling explains the glory of that meeting. I have not felt as moved spiritually by a sacrament meeting in a long time. Testimonies shared --- including a few related to the previous day's temple trip --- slipped right into my heard, and I felt like I was bleeding love. Actually, that sounds like a bad thing. It wasn't. It was a good thing.

In the second hour we talked about Ahab and Jezebel and Elijah --- the most epic portion of the Old Testament (sadly reduced to but one week). Miguel Sanchez taught and our discussion of the widow and her son moved me in ways it never had before. Perhaps because I was thinking of other young women I know who've lost their husband and then things get worse. Or perhaps because Miguel observed that she was probably a Phoenician --- the enemy.

Then, third hour, I taught. I talked mostly about Sam Brannon (I relied primarily on these two sources: Bagley, Campbell). For a few reasons.

1) San Francisco has a rich Mormon heritage. For a while, the town was mostly Mormons. It's good for us to know that.

2) Sam Brannon had a fascinating life.

3) He's dead, so we can feel free to try and learn lessons from him without offending him.

The discussion went all right, but ultimately, I feel like maybe ending the day on an apostate wasn't the best cherry for the sweet spiritual Sunday that had been August 1.

Ah well.

Next time I'll have an alternate lesson prepared on William Prows. Just in case.

for the previous svithe, also related to pioneer day