2009-02-11

RRR: November 18: Jonestown

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On the bright side, on November 18, The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County was first published, the five North American time zones were created, Steamboat Willie was released, and Calvin and Hobbes first appeared in newspapers.

On the not so bright side, this is the date in 1978 that local character Jim Jones and his friends offed themselves with poison punch. And just like that, a group of weirdos best known for helping out the poor completed their transition to a bunch of weirdos best known for synchronized dying.

Now, murdering a congressman and dying en masse has always been (and will probably always be) a pretty surefire path to notoriety, and doing it all in one day was a nice touch.

11/18/07 6:10 PM

RRR: Poverty (no vow required)

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I revel in being poor. There are some disadvantages, sure: I'll never have a top-of-the-line pool table as long as I remain poor, but that pales compared to the great advantages of decrepitude.

12/5/07 9:13 PM

RRR: Calling All Ghosts: 81 North

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I was just listening to one of my on-computer music mixes as I hung wet dress shirts on hangers and a song by 81 North came on and I thought of Nick and Shellie.

Let me note immediately that I just spelled Shelle's name wrong. In fact, I cannot remember how to spell it--only that the spelling is atypical. And so I will try a different spelling every time it comes up.

Anyway: Nick and Shylly. 81 North.

Nick and Shelli were our good friends in Provo. When it came time for us to move away to sunny California (not that Provo in August is any slouch), I swapped Nick a copy of my novel (look for it Summer '08!) for a copy of their in-progress album as 81 North. Which is awful nice stuff. The would put it on to sing their son Colson to sleep.

12/15/07 9:53 PM

RRR: Say what you mean, mean what you say

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In case you haven't heard, this whole writing-for-money thing hasn't exactly turned a profit for me yet. But I've been involved in the process long enough now to get a sense of what sort of people are worth working with and what sort aren't.

Most of my efforts in resume-building have been spent with smaller magazines. And although I do get many personalized rejections, I don't have anything against form letters. Sending a form letter is not indicative of whether or not you're worth working with.

The main thing that fledgling writers should know is whether or not a magazine or book publisher respects your time.

The obvious assumption is that a quick turnaround on your manuscript is the best indication that they respect your time and to a point that is true. But the real issue is whether they take as long as they say they'll take. If they say expect a reply in six days, did it take six days or less? If they say it'll take nine months, it had better not take 11.

Sources like Duotrope help determine this so you don't have to find out who sucks the hard way.

Given the supply of manuscripts available, it's not terribly surprising that editors and publishers often treat writers like chattel. There are even plenty of good manuscripts--at least going to the more reputable places. So treating writers decent is only necessary to satisfy the demands of humanity--not capitalism. Ergo, being a publisher is a lot like having a king--not only do the people suffer, but it destroys the soul of the king as well.

Getting back to my own experience, let me just say that the first step to being a professional is developing a thick skin. The first form letter, so impersonal, feels like cruelly wielded weapon. But this too shall pass.

What has not ceased to be upsetting is what I view as a lack of professionalism--

--not returning submissions in the timeframe promised.

--not returning submissions at all.

--accepting work and holding it for over a year before finally reading it and rejecting it and then add accusations of im

I don't see how I can write this nicely yet. Anyway. Down with Zarahemla! All you Mormon writers stay away! Unless you are Bigelow's friend or already wellknown in the Mormon arts community, you will be either ignored or screwed. Just so you know.

And the publisher a writer! Disgusting.

2/13/08 11:17 AM

RRR: Putting grades in, then I'm going home

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1/18/08 4:25 PM

2009-02-10

RRR: Me want food, or, I will probably die someday (probably)

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Why am I hungry? Because I ate a small breakfast and packed no lunch. In other words, it's my own fault. This is common this is regular this is fitting

5/15/08 12:02 PM

RRR: Water EMERGENCY!!!!!

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So we are now to get our usage down 20% or our daily usage down to 100 gallons or something. I'm not entirely clear on what we're supposed to be doing. And I'm not entirely clear how either such measure will help the <>peak water crisis outside of the shortterm.

Now, I am pro water conservation

http://lsteed.blogspot.com/2008/06/water-ration.html

5/15/08 12:10 PM

RRR: C D L-E-N?

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special thanks to william steig for the title idea

7/21/08 7:36 PM

RRR: I O-2 P

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7/21/08 7:53 PM

RRR: So how was my guessing re: the Whitneys?

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Not bad, so far. Angela's book nabbed the most noms and although Abinidi

2/9/09 8:47 AM

Doubling up on the RRRs

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So I'm getting closer and closer to a thousand posts and I still haven't cleared out my old drafts. What this means is I'm ramping up my RRRing --- say about one new post every two hours through the rest of the week. I apologize to the feeds this will screw up, but I got to get this done and over with. I also regret that my sidebar comments feed is so slow as that may limit conversation. But so it goes And here they come.....

2009-02-09

That letter song, &c.

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Oh! Who knew that the Grammys were last night? I was thinking much more about the Whitneys, and those were only nominations.

Anyway, I'm glad Alison and Robert did so well. It's a great album. Click below to buy you're own freaking copy.

Fourteen two to ten

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Eleven six nine nineteen forty-two eleven four nine nine four nine nine four.

And there's more where that came from.

2009-02-08

Winston Churchill and the Book of Mormon (a svithe)

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(by way of our sunday school teacher)

WC: " . . . democracy is the worst form of government except all [the others]."

SV: " . . . the explanation we have been given for the coming forth of the Book of Mormon is the worst possible explanation. Except for all the others."

It's kind of true, isn't it?

last week's svithe

2009-02-05

2009-02-03

Just now

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Th: Hurry!

O: I was hugging and kissing mommy.

Th: That's my job.

O: No, it's a turtle.

I don't have stats for 2006, but I win in 2007 and 2008

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Last month, Karl Rove revealed that he and Bush spent the past three years in a furious competition to see who could read the most books. It started, fittingly, with Team of Rivals. In 2006, the year Republicans lost the Congress, Rove out-read Bush 110-95. Rove went on to win the next two years, 76-51 and 64-40. That's an astonishing 436 books, which means Gingrich owes Bush $372 and Rove $500.

my 2007
my 2008

2009-02-02

RRR: Penile terminolody extracted from my spam:

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So I was scanning my spam before deleting it the other day and realized that, say what you will about them, they're a creative bunch of penis namers.

Myself, I've never understood the phallic fascination, but all the same, now that I've thought about it, I suppose there is something of artistry in naming the ugliest part of the external human something endearing. So I'm making a list from spam starting now.


love wand
jackhammer




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Become the unicorn of your neighborhood

Girls will call you Largissimo.




Eh:
huge cannon
love tool

5/13/08 2:42 PM

2009-02-01

RRR: (the rrr svithes)

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Many's the time I start a svithe and do not finish it. Reasons for not finishing are legion. Among them: forgetting what I was going to say, having the passion dissipate before I sit down, being desperate for an idea and abandoning a weak first attempt, (and so on and so on).

So here's a collection of the unfinished. On the off chance that there is still something of worth to be found. And to clean out my ehouse.

svithe





Svithe: No more gore

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    11/16/08 3:43 PM





Svithe: Renewal of Faith

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    quote HBL: re:moonbeam

    religious faith and romantic love

    decide to REMAIN in love every day, not decide to refall in love everyday

    9/27/08 7:48 PM





A brief j/s svithe

    Joseph Smith Nutcracker, Dictionary.

    Dictionaries are full of good information, right Joseph Smith Nutcracker?

    8/14/08 6:50 AM





christmas svithe? draft

    Money Christ.

    12/16/07 6:57 PM





Svithe me this, Batman

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    9/23/07 10:14 PM



If this was all dissatisfying, I am sorry. Not all svithey creativity is excellent, what can I say. But still we try, still we try.

revisit last week's svithe (typo inclusive)