So I just learned why football is so boring: on television, you only see about 11 minutes of the actual game (this is supposed to make it more interesting --- by adding a story --- but if that's so then the NFL would be fatally boring and lose fans one stadium-full at a time and I can't accept that).
On the theory that professional football is actually interesting in person, I'm going to make a metaphor about life.
Life = football in this metaphor and watching it on tv is sitting around watching life pass you by. Actually attending a game and being part of the cheering crowd makes you more involved and less bored and, one presumes, actually putting on a helmet and getting concussions will be less boring of all.
To svithify this, may I suggest that God put us on earth to play a game and not sit around and watch others play.
That is all.