2007-07-03

The Placenta Blues

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If you haven't read Lady Steed's post on this subject, you may want to do that first.

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I'm serious. Read hers first.

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While we're waiting for them to get back, here's a picture of a newt I found this morning while I was digging a hole:

Cute Newt

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Hole in the DirtSo this is the hole I mentioned above. I dug it this morning in order to bury the placenta that's been hanging out in the fridge the last couple weeks, taking up room that could otherwise have been filled with cookie dough or steak.

I dug all the way down to water level--a visual on that in a minute. First, let's check out that placenta:


human placenta

Obviously we can't bury it like that. Let's open that sucker up. Lady Steed?


Lady Steed, baby, placenta

Isn't that cute? But what we really need is a closeup.

ZOOM IN!!!!!


placenta

Now that's what a placenta is supposed to look like! Did you click on it? Did you see it done large? Isn't it adorable?

Anyway, placenta. What do you do with a placenta? Because the sad truth is, no placenta has ever gotten into Harvard. Not one! In the four-hundred-plus years of its history!

After some conference together as a family, we decided the placenta could most likely find satisfaction as it always had: By delivering nutrition and life.

Only this time to a rose.

Thus the hole.

Let's throw it in:

video



Splash! Did you see it strike the groundwater? And did you check out that rich, red blood? Awesome.

We had better get another extreme closeup of it, this time lying in Mother Earth's juices:


Placenta lying in the dirt


Yeah. That's pretty much the greatest photo ever. Lady Steed took most of these, but I took that one. (Thanks.)

Time to show the burial:

video



Yes, our wee one wept at the loss of his longtime friend, companion, compatriot.

Aieeee!!!!! Placenta!!!!!

Anyway, the rose was glad for the company, and thanked me repeatedly as I planted it atop this nutritious bundle of joy:


planting the rose


And, all completed, our son and our plant found peace in their common heritage:


peace, peace



Now. Don't you wish you'd read Lady Steed's post first?

18 comments:

  1. Even having read Lady Steed's post first, I can't say that Im' pleased to have read this.

    Sorry. I mean, conratulations on your new rose bush?

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  2. GROSS!!! I mean, I knew it would probably be a little gross when I read the title, but. . . pictures?? EWWWWW.

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  3. Is it legal to put pictures like that on the internet?

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  4. That was a good looking placenta! May it rest in peace knowing it carried out its purpose to great effect, and will bring life to another of God's creations.

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  5. mr. fob: I too have been wondering if it is legal to post such images online.

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  6. The placenta in pit picture is awesome in its gruesomeness.

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  7. eeewww.... wrong wrong wrong wrong.... wrong. eewwww.

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  8. Oh my holy crap. I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.

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  9. Is there something wrong with me that I wasn't completely grossed out? Perhaps it's because every fall there was always a bucket o' guts in our fridge from the deer hunting?

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  10. I told Lady Steed this, but I don't think I can say it enough: You guys are SO awesome!!!

    Also, I appreciated the closeup. While I was ever so slightly horrified, I've always wanted to know what one of those looks like. My biology teacher claimed it tastes like liver. Not being a fan, I didn't have much of a desire to cook mine up. But planting . . . now that was a stroke of genius. If only I could go back.

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  11. DG: Thank yo for your support. I'm glad you weren't grossed out.

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  12. No, but daltonboy almost puked when I made him look at it.

    Probably shouldn't have done that so close to dinner time, but how could I have known?

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  13. I think it's just cruel to put black tape over the baby's eyes like that.

    Oh, and ewww on the lacenta pic.

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  14. I can't beleive you tricked me into clicking the image for the close up.

    That mixing with mother nature is deep... Man...

    Those will be some pretty special roses, regardless of how they look.
    (Meaning, I hope that the roses and the placenta aren't BOTH stuck with massive amounts of radiation created some bizzaro flower monster)

    I sneaked over here from... well, there are 5 different blogs I have read that all pointed to yours, so for simplicity I will say Zillah's.

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  15. .

    Well, it's nice to meet you.

    And I think I will have to sneak into the Lawrence labs and get something sweetly radioactive. I GOTTA TRY THAT OUT!!!!!

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  16. Many of my comments will have error, both grammatical and logical.

    Please excuse them, for I usually comment late into the night when my brain is teh sleepy.

    Nice to meet you as well. :)

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  17. .

    No error--just a great idea.

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