Heading Back Home
episode iii
House keys


In our last episode, we had a run-in with some smokey Slavs. Now it's time for


House keys

We made it through Livermore and other unpleasant-to-drive-through environs in record time and arrived in El Cerrito with the sun still high in the sky. We pulled our upsettingly yellow car into our driveway (to the consternation of the neighbors) and stretched in our seats in preparation for the Great Unloading.

Theric: Where are my.... Oh, that's right. You have them.

Lady Steed: What?

Th: You want to go unlock the door and I'll start getting stuff out?

LS: I'm not sure where my keys are.

Th: Well, that's fine--my keys are just in your purse.

LS: They are?

Th: Yeah.

LS: No they're not.

Th: Yes they are. I gave them to you while I was driving the van.

LS: Oh, that's right. Hmm. I'm not sure where I packed them.

Th: You packed them?

LS: Well, I didn't know I was going to need them!

Th: How else were we going to get inside?

LS: Well, I have my.....where are they?

Th: Oh wait--remember? I hid your keys away for your parents--so they could get in while we were gone. So they're still in the ***** in the ***** in the *****.

LS: No, they came and got them.

Th: But you told me your mom found her keys, so they didn't need them after all.

LS: Right, but they still got them.

Th: Why?

LS: So no one would find them and break in!

Th: What? Are you kidding? They're in the ***** in the ***** in the *****! No one's just going to find them! Besides, there's a bunch of *****s stacked on top of the *****! There's no way they bothered to get them!

LS: They won't be there.

Th: I'll check.

(Theric exits. Rummaging. Lifting. Moving. Grunting. Moving. Lifting. Rummaging. Possibly cursing. Theric enters.)

Th: They're gone. But the put the ***** back in the *****. Why did they put the ***** back in the ***** if there weren't any keys to put back in it? That's crazy!

LS: Well, it's better this way. No one broke in.

Th: No one would have ever found those keys.....

LS: I found your keys.

Th: Where were they?

LS: In my purse.

Tune in next time for Episode IIIII: NO MORE YELLOW CAR.


  1. "The Albanians" wasn't so bad that you had to replace it with a new episode iii. Sheesh!

  2. That played like a movie scene. :) Nice.