*NEW* from the Thteed kitchens

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Three delicious sandwiches....made without alcohol!!!

1. Peanut better and...honey!!! (Not mead!)

2. Peanut butter and...jam!!! (Not sherry!)

3. Tuna fish!!!

Friday!

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Whew!

After a long, 120-hour week of being unemployed, I sure am ready for the weekend!

Blogging in the library with just a few moments left

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Oh crap. I had an idae it was soemthing to do with cracks in the sidewalk and alittle bit funny biut really I don't wuite remmeber it noa dn now I'm about out of time and typing too fast and probably making all sort of egregious errors which will lessen me in the minds of all those who once respected me without reallu knowindsg whtat tyey were doing

Crapcrapcrap times arunnin out and now I realize that I have nothing to say NOTHIING TO SAY! ND what abfout

WEiat

I had---what was it? it was a little something pretty clever arather creative and something work bloggina bout but now I may have lost it

doesnt matter anyway---don't have enough time to develope andything of worth andyhway.

Crap

I'm out of time

I neeed to at least sign off with seiomthign mildly worht saying and not just thtis rorschach of a typesmess.

Crap.

Crapo

Anyway, crap.

I am Theric.

I love diseases

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My favorite is the mumps--I'll have to post on why someday--but really, most diseases are quite charming. Take this horrible hacky cough I've had the past month: Hasn't been that big of a deal, not really (except when I'm collapsed on the floor and trying to throw up neither breakfast nor my esophagus), but now that xrays have confirmed that I am not well and the sense of hypochondria has passed, all is fun and dandy today. I'm sick! I may die yet!

And every day is a new opportunity to contract something horrible.

Tomorrow I'm aiming for Lyme Disease. Is that even possible at Tahoe? I'm not sure.

Wish me luck!

Shallow Boasting

My blog is worth $16,371.66.
How much is your blog worth?

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So in less than a month I've gone from being $0.00 to being more valuable than anyone I link to (at current values--maybe not what they have posted on their page), which makes me proud and cocky (as usual) and further proves that this measure is totally unreliable as I've always said.

Of course, that won't stop me from accepting $16,371.66 if you really want this URL.

That said, I am so frickin awesome.


And being worth more than a grand more than Miss Nemesis is more proof of virility than any man needs.

What's with the lines?

HOW to be Cheerful

Oh, I ran into Isosceles. He has a great idea for a new triangle.

Woody Allen


Me and the midget don't see eye-to-eye on it.

Belle & Sebastian

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The attribute of cheerfulness is one that has been as frequently maligned through the ages as it has been aligned, resulting in the bodies of the cheerful being carefully arranged in lines between such ancient cities as Rome and Matera, Athens and Sparta, and Carthage and Johannesburg. Cheerfulness, ancient anatomists and composters soon realized, was not something retained by the bodies after death, but something that the spirit takes with it, as any recipient of that ancient psychotropic, the spleen smoothie, can tell you.

And so if it is a spiritual attribute, this cheerfulness, spiritual means must be taken to make the needed alterations.

Many people have taken drastic means in search of cheerfulness (such as Faulkner), but we do not have to be drastic as those brave pioneers have already paid the price (or, more often, placed it on their tab).

For instance (speaking of Cheery F, as his bailiff called him), to be cheerful, all one has to do is not read The Sound and The Fury and then, when feeling down, simply remind oneself that it could be worse; one could be reading The Sound and the Fury.

Or, alternatively, one could go ahead and pick up a copy and a red pencil the Nobel Prize winner's many mistakes or, even better, try to figure out who the heck is talking at any given moment. Not only will your efforts be roughly as cheer-enducing as the Sunday Times crossword, but it will take seventeen times as long (not including naps)! Besides, a well diagramed Theory of Furious Dialogue will allegedly reveal just why Faulkner wrote the bloody mess in the first place, which question is sort of the Fermat's Last Theorem of literature.

But not everyone is apt to be able to find their cheerfulness through literary means or even kinds. Others require physical exercise, such as beating down elderly veterans in order to take cheerful joyrides in their mechanized wheelchairs.

Truly, mechanized wheelchairs are the greatest boon to cheerfulness since the death of Charlotte, the manipulative marketer and known spider! Rare indeed is the soul who cannot spend half an hour in a mechanized wheelchair and not feel all the happier for it!

Other readily accessible and thoroughly modern means of becoming cheerful include the boogaloo, sequel-skewering, contemplation of the bubblegum / public transportation paradox, falafel, mosquito tracking, mailing fake bombs to corrupt party officials, macaroni, and love. Aww.

However, we here at Thmusings cannot recommend any method higher than we recommend base-jumping. In part because we are afraid of heights and in part because we find cheer in that happy splatting sound.

Anniversary

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One year ago, I wrote my first posts and now, one year later, I'm almost still at it.

Here's to hoping the Internet joins us in our new home soon.

I'm sick of these half-hour library limits.

Every path to understanding seems to lead through this apparent fact: librarians hate me.

I have been deceived....



(note: this post should not be taken personally by any librarians or librarians-in-training that may happen by. I'm having a lousy day. blogdays often are, I'm told....)

Current crap

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I am currently at the Albany Library to check my email (and, as it ends out, buy a book and cd from the library sale) so technically I am now "wasting time." I should be headed to Costco to purchase Tums which, apparently, bind lead so eating them is a good job when sanding lead paint off the walls. Here's the current load you're missing out on:

I'm sick of flirting with age. If thirty hasn't shown up by tomorrow I'm just knocking the door down.

My hands won't stop shaking this morning.

My doctor told me yesterday that he's ruled out all major diseases so my cough is lame.

I really like where we live. You should come see us.

I'm finally reading Mary Roach's Stiff and it is every bit as wonderful as I had expected. I also just finished reading The Red Hourglass and The Hound of the Baskervilles (it's been a Holmes-heavy summer) and have rediscovered my copy of Edgar Mint that Brozy gave me so I can start back on that as well. I wish I had a books-read-this-year list, because I think I would be winning.

We live within walking distance of three movie theaters; two comic stores; two Korean restaurants; some incredible grocery stores; numerous restaurants specializing in Thai, Nepalese, Tibetan, Californian, and sundry other unique cuisines; multiple churches and schools; far-reaching public transit; several art galleries and used toy shops; and more! more! more!

We saw Scoop yesterday and enjoyed it very much. (Although I did not expect to see Charon there.) But my favorite thing was how no one stood and left when the credits started! I thought I was in movie heaven!

We expect to have internet sometime next week. So stay posted. Maybe it'll be in time to celebrate my blogday. Who can say.