You say snot, I say guar gum

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I picked up a white-chocolate and peppermint version of Milkadamia's macadamia milk sometime after the holidays when the store felt it had to go. Then, last week, someone got tired of it being in the pantry and stuck it in the fridge. I opened it and have been slyly enjoying it all on my own. The fridge was packed and it's not that exciting a box.

As I am a loving husband, however, as as I had already drunk three quarters of the stuff, I did share a cup with my beloved. She did not like it but kindly blamed her dislike on the flavor of what she had been previously eating. The next day, on her own, she tried again—and utterly despised it.

She has retained no memory of the taste as she was focused entirely on forcing herself to choke it down, in order to give it a fair shake. The last half she drank over the sink: just in case.

It was the texture that got to her. And it is thick, I grant you. She said it reminded her of some almond-milk-gone-bad of yore.

Is !y almond milk still good? pic.twitter.com/cqqsy9aOo5

— Theric Jepson (@thmazing) November 21, 2016

(My guess is that tweet should say my but I can't explain how I typed an ! in place of an m.)

I get it. It is extreeeemely viscous. I'm dipping graham crackers in it right now and I've given up on dipping—I just drop them in. They stand for a moment before slowly tipping over. Then I leave them for several minutes before pulling them out. They do not fall apart.

This stuff is extremely viscous.

Anyway, I had taken a sip from my dipping cup as I walked to the table and realized why I like this so much and my wife does not. It goes back to our childhoods and opinions we formed them.

You see, Milkadamia's White Chocolate Seasonal Delight is basically Pepto Bismol if Pepto Bismol were food instead of medicine.

Delicious.