Independence Day has come and gone

.

And, as you undoubtedly know, that means less than a month remains until Coast Guard Day, the day on which decent human beings traditionally give me gifts. Ever since the Obama guy started encroaching on my Coast Guard Day turf, things have been a little sparse around here, but I have faith that the gift-giving will pick back up soon.

For those of you looking for suggestions as to what Thutopians like to receive on their personalized armed-services holiday, I have taken the liberty of scouring my Amazon wishlist for ideas.

1. Any book by Tom Holt. Because Tolkers says he's the same as me and that makes me very very nervous.

2. Manhood for Amateurs by Michael Chabon. Because no one had the good sense to give it to me for Father's Day. Not even me. And I would have, had I thought of it.

3. David O. McKay and the Rise of Modern Mormonism. Because I don't read nearly enough nonfiction and I've heard much too much about how awesome this book is.

4. The Complete Essex County or The Complete Bone. Because both these comics are awesome and neither of them have I finished reading.

5. Written In Chalk. Let me explain. It's a Buddy and Julie Miller album. With Kershisnik cover art. It's the best of visual and the best of aural having a baby.

6. Jukebox by Cat Power. Hard to narrow things down to just one hot indie chick, you know?

7. United States Coast Guard Flag. Just to help us all remember those other guys whose day I stole.