The Manly Meme

.

An acquaintance of mine recently created a baby-new meme from a Popular Mechanics article. I thought I would coöpt it for myself here.

But real men don't tag. So only do this yourself if you think you're man enough. Or if you have something to prove.

So. A real man should be able to:

1. Patch a radiator hose
Um. Is it like fixing a bike tube?


2. Protect your computer
From ninjas? I'm there.


3. Rescue a boater who has capsized
Depends. Are there sharks? What about walruses?


4. Frame a wall
Depends. Embezzlement, yes. But I draw the line at capital crimes.


5. Retouch digital photos
Within reason, yes. Note the example above.


6. Back up a trailer
Now that I finally have a DVD-R drive, yes.


7. Build a campfire
Yes. Of course. I totally got my pyro merit badge. I can also build a house fire if you need any help.


8. Fix a dead outlet
Who do you think I am, Ned? Seriously though, my father-in-law has shown me how to do this like a zillion times and I still can't. Mostly, I think, because I am certain I will die.


9. Navigate with a map and compass
That's cute.


10. Use a torque wrench
Is that those strappy things?


11. Sharpen a knife
Only on the jawbone of an ass.


12. Perform CPR
With or without showgirls?

I've never actually had to, but I'm sure whoever gets to be my guinea pig will die. So to answer the question, I need to know if the CPRee needs to survive for it to count.


13. Fillet a fish
Theoretically. Ask when the last time I went fishing was.


14. Maneuver a car out of a skid
Done it many times. Take that!


15. Get a car unstuck
From what? Time? Cause Billy takes care of that for me.


16. Back up data
Yes. Should do it more frequently though....


17. Paint a room
Alas, yes.


18. Mix concrete
Yes. But don't tell Lady Steed.


19. Clean a bolt-action rifle
Um. No thank you. Guns make me nervous. Sort of like electricity.


20. Change oil and filter
Yes! In fact, it's been ages since we paid for an oil change--not since moving here at least.

Although.... Nevermind. Just ask my dad. He'll tell you. I don't want to go into it.


21. Hook up an HDTV
I wish I had opportunity to try....


22. Bleed brakes
What. Mechanics don't believe in germ theory?


23. Paddle a canoe
I actually used to be awesome at this. But I haven't tried in, ah, fifteen years?


24. Fix a bike flat
Used to do it all the time.


25. Extend your wireless network
"Extend"? Let's start with "start".

Phew. It's a good thing we have the Big O around. At the very least, he'll be able to mow the lawn. And knock our old oil filters out of the ballpark with his totally awesome batting skills.