Rolexes: I have received as much spam for Rolexes (fake and "real") as anything else in my life. But why? Besides the fact that I haven't worn a watch in over ten years (or carried one in over five), can anyone really care so much about thousand-dollar watches? And if so, how? I couldn't care very much about such a thing if I spent a week in the desert preparing to care. Crazy.
Trader Joe's: Enormous numbers of people in my acquaintance shop exclusively (or near-exclusively) at Trader Joe's they overflow with love for its excellent products and shockingly low prices, neither of which I have been able to find. Maybe if I were a wine drinker I could get excited about Two-Buck Chuck, but I'm not. The salsa I bought was expensive and tasteless. Their produce is overpackaged and of the same quality as any other decent grocery store. The stores are small and packed with TJ cultists and are arranged illogically. I have tried and tried (now that I live within walking distance of one) to find these excellent and inexpensive products but I have failed and I have failed and I have failed. Trader Joe's is a worthless thing. Yet so many otherwise sane people I know and care for love the place. Crazy.
Fellini's 8½: What in the...? First, let me admit that the print I saw of 8½ was not that great. Possibly if I saw a version where the screen wasn't 98½% white 98½% of the time, I might feel differently. But I don't think so. It's a stupid movie. And this is coming from a guy who thinks Magical Mystery Tour and Ruben & Ed and The Hudsucker Proxy and Billy's Balloon and Rejected and Prometheus and many other films considered to strange for public consumption and wonderful and should be rewatched endlessly. Crazy.
Oprah Winfrey: Yes, she's charismatic. Yes, she gives away thousands and thousands of dollars of stuff to her devoted fans. Yes, she seems like a nice enough lady. But doesn't it bother you how much power she seems to be accruing to herself? Consider that about 10 million people watch her show everyday. Consider that a goodly percentage of those 10 million would happily take a bullet for her. Several bullets! Now imagine her putting on a uniform and declaring war on the government of the United States. Gives you chills, don't it? And you know, she could afford a nonparty presidential run. And once she was there, what's to stop her from.... Brrrr. And there would be nothing you or I could do. Crazy.
Lobster: Granted, I've never had lobster. Can't get that excited about the notion, frankly. What's to like? Sure, I might like it, but it weirds me out how some people's lives are not lived day to day or love to love or success to success, but lobster to lobster. What's that all about? Crazy.
Bloodstone: Obviously it's a great name and would make a man a Man. Yet some people don't care for it! Crazy.