The Ninja Warrior Megadolphin Svithe

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A year and a half ago, we aimed sacrament meeting straight at the kids; the meeting was a big success and we've been meaning to do it again ever since. I finally got around to putting one together today and it was another big success. I think doing one the week after the Primary Program should become a tradition. (That's how we did it this time and making it a regular thing was suggested to me and I like to think I'm the sort of person that accepts good ideas.)

One talk was mostly traditional, though aimed at kids. The second talk involved paper and crayons and a penguin and a reindeer hat. The third talk was our high councilor standing on the ground in front of the stand and talking to the kids about hands, using a Mickey Mouse glove and every other kind of glove imaginable as props. He had intended to ask the kids to sit on the front row, but the second speaker already did that for him.

Great job, speakers!

This is a reproduction of my introduction to the meeting.

Hey, kids. I hope you all remembered from last week when I was in Primary to bring coloring books and Cheerios this week for your parents and the other adults around you, because this sacrament meeting is for you and they might get bored bored bored. So we need to keep them quite. Hopefully you won't have to take them out.

But before we get started, can I tell just one sentence to the grownups? I'll be quick.

Hi, adults. In 1953, the Church sent a letter to all the wards telling them that kids should be attending sacrament meeting. And so we should be making sure sacrament meeting has stuff for kids as well as for adults. And I think you'll all agree that in the years since then, we've done so good that sacrament meeting is pretty much 100% for kids now. Not.

Check out my tie. Up here---I think it's supposed to be a hippopotamus, but it looks more like a naked rat. Then there's a crocodile or a gharial or something. Then a dolphin. Then a--let's skip this one. Then a turtle. Okay. What's this?

Right. An orca. Also known as a killer whale. Also known as a blackfish. Also known as a ninja warrior megadolphin.

I don't know how much you know about orcas, but they live in families, much like us, and they learn things from their families just like we do.

For instance, orcas eat seals, but they way they eat seals varies depending on how they were taught. Some orcas slide up onto the beach and grab a seal in their mouth and shake it back and forth like rrararararararrraaraa. While meanwhile, if you lived in another pod---that's what orca families are called---maybe you would have learned to swim under a seal and hit it with your tail, eighty feet in the air: phwi phwi phwi phwi phwi phwi phwi phwi phwi phwi phwi phwi phwi phwi phwi phwi pwissshhhh! That's like if you took our church and put it on another church then put it on another church then put it on another church. That's high. That seal might have broken bones or he might be fine but he is stunned and he's just lying there wondering what happened while you swim up and eat him. Delicious.

Like orcas, you're growing up in a family and you're coming here to church and what you know and who you are depends on what you learn now. So today we're going to hear from some older orcas....

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