2006-10-30

Th. Whore of All Blogylon

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Ladies and gentlemen---

Boys and girls---

Friends of all ages---

I am selling out.

In a misguided attempt to bring my blogging from the realm of the purely charitable to that of the crassly commercial, I am introducing various doomed-to-failure propositions, three of which I am announcing today, October 30, 2006.


Pretending to be your friend while hawking for the enemy


I have not decided which company to align myself with (my original choice seems to deem me unworthy and so I remain standing at the wall, scoping out the hot corporations, considering whom to ask next), but at some point, all this friendly bantering I do about books, movies and music will in fact be peppered with specially formatted links that could end up getting me a percentage of every dollar you spend.

I anticipate this will make me about exactly nothing per annum.


Turning over precious real estate to people who see you as a pocketbook waiting to be opened


Sometime soon--possibly today, certainly by the end of this week--ads will start appearing on Thmusings. I've considered doing this for over a year now, and I'm finally going to do it. I'm not sure why. Unless it's the fortune in zeros I anticipate raking in.


Thmazing's Thtore


This will probably make me the least money of all, but I have to admit I'm excited about it all the same. The store design is weak and inconsistent (I haven't asked for Lady Steed's help yet), but the product will be consistently awesome. I present to you Thmazing's Thtore.

You may have noticed its link in the sidebar. That's new.

Unlike most stores on CafePress, Thmazing's Thtore will not be just a bunch of whatever left there to sit forever on the off chance someone will someday buy it. No. In fact, Thmazing's Thtore differs in several significant ways:
    1. I don't expect anyone to ever buy anything from this store. Except me. Because let's face it, everything in the Thtore will be awesome--just like me.

    2. The designs are all limited edition. Currently, we only have our flagship tshirt available (just in time to be too late for Halloween) (but what the heck! buy it for next year!), but two more designs will soon be available. Everytime I introduce or retire a design, it will be announced here. I imagine the average design will last four to six weeks.

    3. One word: awesome.
Like I said, I doubt this will be a money-making venture, but just in case you need an awesome tshirt....

Because let's face it: Tshirts available for purchase in the Thtore will make you cool. They will do this through one of three methods:
    1. A good tshirt will not only be cool to look at, but it will also make people looking at it think you are cooler than them because you know about something cool that they don't. My Don Hertzfeldt shirts do this for me. The Thtore's flagship shirt will do it for you.

    2. A good tshirt makes you look sly and ironic. We haven't any of those up yet, alas, but for those of you who are sly and ironic, worry not--we will meet your needs.

    3. A good tshirt shows your allegiance to what is good and right in the world. Will a Thtore tshirt do that for you? Like duh it will!
Anyway, I'm totally corporate now. Support me in this decision by wearing Thmazing Brand Apparel. You know you want to.

For the lady thashionistasFor masculine thashionistas
Thritten by at

11 comments:

  1. B.G. Christensen10/30/2006 5:35 PM

    I like the idea, but I'm holding out for sly and ironic.

    ReplyDelete
  2. B.G. Christensen10/30/2006 5:36 PM

    As a side note, I'm amused by the fact that you are branding a pair of letters that do not occur in your real name.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Melyngoch10/30/2006 6:00 PM

    You've convinced me: I need a thneed.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Celia Marie (W.) B.10/30/2006 7:56 PM

    Christmas is coming up. What a good present to buy for the whole family. Oh wait. The Thteeds practically are the whole family.

    Can you make a fitted girl's Tee rather than (or in addition to) the standard? Just curious.

    And I suggest you put your little blog face pencil drawing thing on the back. That would be cool.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Th.10/30/2006 9:13 PM

    .

    Good advice, Silly. And I've wondered how my women shoppers would feel about that issue. I will certainly keep that in mind with future releases.

    And everyone needs a thneed!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Sarah10/31/2006 11:14 AM

    Ah, yes - the store. Mine is chock full of uninteresting blog bling that my husband and I buy for each other on birthdays, anniversarys and other special occasions when we want to feel thamazing about ourselves.

    As for the advertizing on the site, I heard that it's only worth it if you are getting 1,000 plus visitors a day. But from the looks of it, you are probably getting double that so rake it in.

    We all sell out at some point. I did it relatively early on my blog and I've got to say, my life has been much improved because of it. Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Christian10/31/2006 12:34 PM

    What about fitted tees for the boys too? I believe that you ought to pay some deference to the gay male demographic of the Fobtheon.

    Or at least to me.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous10/31/2006 7:03 PM

    Yes! The baby doll Thtee (shorter sleeves) is a must. I will purchase several, especially if your little drawing is on the back.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Th.10/31/2006 7:51 PM

    .

    Yes! I will meet all your needs!

    I am Thmazing!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Christian11/03/2006 7:54 PM

    I would sooooooooo buy bobbleheads of the Fobtheon if you sold them.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Th.11/03/2006 9:18 PM

    .

    I'll look into it.

    ReplyDelete

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