2005-09-29

What's wrong with fish

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1. They smell.

2. They're wet.

3. They're subversive (haha!).

4. They're scaly.

5. They live in an environment inhospitable to me.

6. They make dumb expressions.

7. They don't get jokes.

8. They lack proper play initiative.

9. They're prone to gender confusion.

10. Salvador Dali

6 comments:

  1. But, you evolved from them. You should have at least some familial feeling.

    ReplyDelete
  2. .

    Wow! How did you post so fast!!!


    (And doesnt the familialness of it all make the anger all the worse?)

    ReplyDelete
  3. in defense of fish

    But is this really a problem confined to fish? I mean, dogs smell, especially when wet.

    Cats are far more subversive than fish. (Haven't you seen the classic 2001 movie Cats & Dogs?

    Snakes are scaly.

    Aligators live in rather inhospitable environments.

    I'll give you the "make dumb expressions," but I think it's not because they don't get your jokes but because they don't like your jokes. At least that's what they tell me about my dad's jokes.

    The only animals who actually have proper play initiative are dogs, but they have a tendency to overcompensate for everyone else.

    I'm not exactly sure what you mean by gender confusion, but about a month ago, Sister took her cat, Maddie, in to get spayed. Mind you, this was Maddie's second or third visit to that particular vet. A little later, Vet called Sister, "Are you the one who brought in Maddie to get spayed?" Sister was thinking, They killed my cat, but she only answered, "Yes." "Well, as we were going to spay her, we were having difficulties finding her ovaries. We brought in a technician and discovered that Maddie is a boy." And they still charged Sister for the neutering. Sheesh.

    And finally, clocks have issues with Salvador Dali as well.

    ReplyDelete
  4. But what about Dr. Seuss? Everybody loves Dr. Seuss.

    And my word verification is "eatkzbri." So everyone go out and eat some kzbri.

    ReplyDelete
  5. .

    Edgy: But fish have ALL of these problems.

    MAster Fob: I will.

    ReplyDelete
  6. .

    This is a test.

    This is only a test.

    ReplyDelete