Arthur Rackham

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So how come I have never heard of Arthur Rackham before? Because this is my new favorite portrait of my favorite birds--whether twa or any other number of them. And I was just nosing around the Internet and I found all sorts of other terrific Rackham illustrations. Have you seen him do Alice in Wonderland? Great stuff. What an artist! What a fantastic body of work!

But, on the other hand, he is dead....

In lieu of all this deep stuff we've been dealing with lately, an advertisement for greeting cards:

Second Five Books Finished in 2007

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10) The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ, finished February 7

Sometimes I wish I had some notion how many times Lady Steed and I have been through this book together. But that might just make me read it for the wrong reasons. Anyway, we finished it again last night and that always makes me sad. Because the last writer--Moroni--is my favorite. And the first writer--Nephi--is my least. And now we're back on Nephi. Hhhhh. Hi, Nephi. some months

9) Lisey's Story by Stephen King, finished February 1

People coming into our house for the first time are often heard to ask, "So...which one of you is the Stephen King fan?" The question is a funny one because although we do indeed own quite a few of his books, [Lady Steed] has read only one short story collection and On Writing (both of which she liked) but no novels. Me, I've read those two, his other nonfiction book, various odds and ends and Bag of Bones. I purchased Bag of Bones because the first chapter was available on Amazon back when it was released and the book took a grip on my mind that wouldn't let go until I found the book on remainder and bought it and read it. And although it was a good book, he botched the ending. But the book's virtues kept me from dismissing him outright as I did Dean Koontz when he not merely botched but totally sucked up the ending to Dragon Tears. ¶ Last year I listened to Cell on cd during my commute and although I had maintained a high (if not totally supported) opinion of King, this book cemented it for me. It was brutal and frightening yet each twist in the plot was not just laying it on (as the saying goes), but peeling back another layer of the human soul and exposing us for what we pray we are not. I was angry at the ending, but I do think it was the proper ending and that giving me what I wanted would have been a mistake. ¶ I first heard about Cell the first time I heard about Lisey's Story. King said he was working on two books, one was populist (Cell) and one was more ambitious (Lisey). I'm always suspicious of someone deciding which of their books are the artistic ones, and I was so impressed by Cell that I was leery of Lisey's. But I picked it up at the library (first library book of the year to make the list) and I read it and it was beautiful. ¶ One thing I particularly like about Stephen King is his membership in the Nonce Club, along with Shakespeare, me and Lewis Carrol, we Noncers celebrate language by growing it, by coining words left and right and loving them and incorporating them. And King is a master at this. I can't think of an artsyfartsy who is his superior. And Lisey's is a treasure trove of words. If you love language, consider Lisey. ¶ I could wax lengthy over this book, but I won't. I do not want to say much more about the plot or characters or settings than to say it is the story of a wife mourning her celebrated husband and recreating the past in order to move forward. (Incidentally, this books is loaded with flashback which King has explicitly called not his kind of writing. I guess every rule has its exception.) In the process, she--- ¶ No. I'm sorry. I really can't say anything about this book other than it is written well and even if snotfaces like Harold Bloom dismiss King unread, I think his popularity can only be a positive indication that we reading masses still maintain some taste. Good for us. roughly one week

8) The Maltese Falcon by Dashiell Hammett, finished January 26

First, after reading the short author bio at the end of my old paperback (purchased two summers ago from the San Francisco library when we were hanging with the Fobs), I really want to read a 600-pager about Dash Hamm. What a life! And this Sam Spade adventure wasn't too bad either. It wasn't all the fancy I had been led to expect, but the ending made up for all the doubts I harbored along the way--even if Spade namechecks San Quentin instead of Tehachapi, like he did in the movie. two or three weeks

7) Empire by Orson Scott Card, finished January 24

Card's new book had not been demanding me to read it, but then 'sposita lent me her copy and so I added it to my list. Then I accidentally checked a book out of the library, and so I zipped Empire to the top of my list so I could read it and still have time to get that book back to the library without punishment. ¶ First impression: Empire felt rushed. This is the same impression Shadow Puppets gave me when I first read it. With Empire though, there was excellent reason to rush. The book begins with an assassination of the president on June 13, 2008--wait too long, and the book's already in the past. In fact, it's already showing signs of age: the book presumes a Republican majority in the House in 2008. Not likely. ¶ I'm not saying the book is lousy. But when you are Orson Scott Card, the expectations are high. And this book couldn't meet them. Which isn't too say the message is not worthy of debate--I certainly say it is--but the book is a message book and fine though it is, not compelling enough for me to recommend. ¶ Also--what's up with the terrible covers OSC's books always get? I'm under the impression he likes them, but man. Why? three days

6) Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli, finished January 22

I bought a signed copy of this book from the BYU Bookstore years ago and inscribed it to Lady Steed for what are, to us, obvious reasons. Her husband simply could not not buy her this book. The content is almost incidental. ¶ Having now finally gotten around to reading the book myself, the story seems an important metaphor for our lives. When I was getting into her, I knew that this woman would make my life so much more fun and interesting and worth living. And when people learned she was marrying me, they warned: "You're marrying Theric? Well. Your life will certainly be . . . interesting . . . ." ¶ In fact, instead of emphasizing those aspects of each other, we seem to bring out the other's boring, making us, to date, the third most boring couple west of the Continental Divide. ¶ As for the book, it is good. I couldn't see how Spinelli was going to manage to come up with a decent ending, but he nailed it and I was impressed. Perhaps he deserves his Mars-sized reputation. I'll have to read another one. just under a month

PREVIOUSLY

5) Vile Bodies by Evelyn Waugh, finished January 17
4) Superman Adventures Vol. 1: Up, Up and Away! by Mark Millar, finished January 16
3) A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson, finished January 12
2) Understanding Comics by Scott McCloud, finished January 11
1) Galápagos by Kurt Vonnegut, finished January 10

RRR: Adjust your screen if this doesn't make five inches exactly; it's screwed up. I swear. I'm an expert.

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10/13/07 12:59 AM

Eccelsiastical Svithery

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Someday I will go through the book of Ecclesiastes and write a long, long essay--maybe even a short book--on why I love it so much. Someday is not today, but I feel like touching briefly on its themes so I'm going to go ahead and do just that. For I am a wild-eyed libertarian.

What drives me crazy is how people dismiss Ecclesiastes as a bunch of pessimistic drudgery. Not so! First of all, people who say that don't really mean pessimism at all--they mean fatalism. Like here:

. . . and if the tree fall toward the south, or toward the north, in the place where the tree falleth, there it shall be.

Trees fall.

Where they fall, there they are.

This is not pessimism. And it's not precisely fatalism either. If anything, it's kind of taoey. The message here is relax. Don't worry about things you can't control. The tree fell? So what? The tree fell and there it is. Move on. Only worry about what you can control.

Following immediately after Proverbs as it does, with all its maxims of be good be strong be able do your duty do your best do more et cetera, Ecclesiastes is a breath of fresh air. The Preacher is not relieving the Bible-reader of any responsibility, but he is giving permission not to despair when things don't turn out just right. Yeah, you should follow the good advice in Proverbs, but you know what? Even when you do,

. . . the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.

And that's frustrating. If I work the hardest, shouldn't I get the heftiest reward?

Sure you should. But it doesn't mean you will. And that's why the Preacher is always going on and on about vanity and death. Not because he's depressed or "pessimistic"--but to remind us that placing all our eggs in the basket of brilliant mortal success is nuts. Because we can't control that success.

What can we control, then? Is anything we do of worth? If I can work all my life and die a pauper, what's the point?

Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. For God shall bring every work into judgment . . . .

In other words, the point is to forget about these short term rewards--what Jesus terms "that which moth doth corrupt and which thieves can break through and steal"--and let's just do the best we can and stop worrying so much about consequences. After all,

He that observeth the wind shall not sow; and he that regardeth the clouds shall not reap.

So forget about the wind and the clouds and just do what you can.

That's not pessimism. That's a relaxed realism and I dig it.

Rejoice . . . and let thy heart cheer thee . . . walk in the ways of thine heart, and in the sight of thine eyes: but know thou, that for all these things God will bring thee into judgment. Therefore remove sorrow from thy heart, and put away evil from thy flesh . . . . Remember now thy Creator . . . .

And he will remember thee.




last week's svithe

Speaking of classic style....

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It has been awhile since I rearranged things at the Thtore and so some shaking up was overdue. Now, as you all know, all products available at the Thtore are available for a limited time only and thus it is that our much loved Class Hijinks shirt is no longer available to the public. We didn't sell many copies of that one, but that lucky soul who did buy it is sitting on quite the fashionable investment.

Yes, Class Hijinks has gone the way of I fear Thmazing. Speaking of I fear Thmazing, check out this unsolicited testimonial from a drop of toad spit:

Hey.. just wanted to let you know... I was in the store a couple days ago, and the cashier leaned over and said “cool shirt.” I was wearing your “I fear th’mazing” shirt. I am now one step closer to owning Idaho.

Now, maybe you yourself are not that interested in owning Idaho, per se, but shirts from the Thtore can help anyone dominate anywhere. Me, I'm just glad I wasn't in business back in '43. I shudder to think what may have happened had Hitler been wearing a Dumptruck! tshirt. All that blood on my hands.....

Anyway, on to happier thoughts! The Thtore announces five new designs! Behold!

The Th'kankin design is for all th'kankers our there. You know who you are and you know you've been wondering why I haven't provided you with th'kankin apparel. Wonder no more. It is here. Click on the appropriate shirt and arrive at the appropriate page.

As has been explained before, a good tshirt is ironic. And what could be more ironic that claiming that anything associated with Theric could be in poor taste? Ah ha ha ha ha!

I don't really understand these homeboy shirts, but they seem to be all the rage....

One great American tradition is ripping off the big boys. But since I never use the product I'm ripping off here, I have a hard time feeling bad. Call it free advertising for all the times I've never given your product a fair shake, boys.

This is not actually a blog shirt at all. This is a pilot shirt for a future store when promotion of my book Byuck: A Novel goes into full swing. I'm still working with my editor to improve its already demonstrable excellence and so in the meantime, Early Cultural Adopters (eg, the Cutting Edge) can demonstrate their savvy with this shirt.

This shirt was actually inspired by our good friend Mel (although she should not thus feel an obligation) and I will not be explaining it to people who don't understand it because that would take away the well earned sense of superiority possessed by those who do understand.

Don't feel bad.

Just buy Byuck as soon as it becomes available.

And in the meantime, become a Thashionista.

There's never been a better time.

The sixth horseman

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The unbelievable has just happened.

Theric Thteed has just purchased a fashion magazine.

The end is surely near.

The Last Day of the First Month of the New Year2007

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It won't surprise you to learn I have a project keeping me busy tonight. Got to try and finalize some text. Get some physical materials. If you have something I need, this is the time to get it to me.

Love,

Theric.

The much heralded return to originality

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Here I sit in a library next door to the school from which I am taking my lunch break. My current readin' book sits next to the keyboard so I can find my place while the next screen loads. Only to promptly lose it at that moment.

I am at work on a number of things.

I know what book I want to write yet, but it's a tricksy one, and one I'm loathe to attack without a contract.

I have been designing a handful of new shirts for the Thtore (see sidebar) (announcement coming later this week).

I am working on various web-based art that will delight the masses or kill them for resisting.

Um.....

Yeah, so I am totally being creative and crap.

But that's not what the title of this post was referring to.

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My goodness! but I can be an obscure bastard.

I certainly feel guilty about it, for though I may be the world's only Baizzerist, I am still antiartsyfartsy. It's a terrible existential dilemma to find onself in, but whachagonnado?

In my case, type:

asdjkasfdjkasbjtrugkb vkjibukrilu8w48vrkbbjkasv uhec

Which is lovely.

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I am theric.

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More sensible content coming soon. Perhaps as early as today.

Don't hold your breath enless you have some of that sweet liquid air. That stuff is awesome.

Can you tell when I am joking?

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Can you tell when I'm joking?
When it's a joke?
When I'm joking?
Can you tell
Can you
Can you tell when
when I am joking
Can you tell
Can you tell when
Can you tell if
I am joking
I'm joking
Can you tell?
Can you tell?
Is it a joke?
Am I joking?
Can you tell?
Can you tell
Can you tell
Can you tell when I'm
Can you tell?

Stealing this week’s svithe

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I'm feeling lazy. Here are a few thinkable thoughts pulled from semirandom locales:

Happiness is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it; and this path is virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness, and keeping all the commandments of God. But we cannot keep all the commandments without first knowing them, and we cannot expect to know all, or more than we now know unless we comply with or keep those we have already received. That which is wrong under one circumstance, may be, and often is, right under another.
Joseph Smith


If the child sees that the parents are very happy because he has become knowledgeable, he starts gathering more and more knowledge. He starts forgetting the knack that he had brought with his life, that was inborn. By the time he comes out of the university he has completely forgotten one of the most beautiful things that was given by God to him: the capacity to wonder, the capacity to see without thinking, the capacity to contact reality without the mind continuously interfering, distorting.
Osho International Foundation


The happiness which brings enduring worth to life is not the superficial happiness that is dependent on circumstances. It is the happiness and contentment that fills the soul even in the midst of the most distressing circumstances and the most bitter environment. It is the kind of happiness that grins when things go wrong and smiles through the tears. The happiness for which our souls ache is one undisturbed by success or failure, one which will root deeply inside us and give inward relaxation, peace, and contentment, no matter what the surface problems may be. That kind of happiness stands in need of no outward stimulus.


Billy Graham


I swear by the pen and what the angels write,
By the grace of your Lord you are not mad.
And most surely you shall have a reward never to be cut off.
And most surely you conform (yourself) to sublime morality.
So you shall see, and they (too) shall see,
Which of you is afflicted with madness.
Muhammad


Last night I said to myself: tomorrow I will be good. Good? I wasn't any better than I was the day before. Now here is a new month, and I haven't yet thought out how to be more sensible, how to master my impulses and my temper. I am ashamed to be so undisciplined. I hereby resolve that with God's help I will be more reasonable. Today the day is nearly over and it isn't much, but for the rest of the day I will observe silence. Not talk, but answer politely. Not seek out conversation, but work on my shawl, which must be finished at least by day after tomorrow.
Anais Nin


The distinction between liberated, aspirant and bound subsists only so long as this Elixir of Experience is unknown to one. The enjoyer and the enjoyed, the seer and the seen, are merged in the non-dual, which is indivisible. The devotee has become God, the Goal has become God, the Goal has become the path; this indeed is solitude in the universe.
Sant Jnaneshwar


True words aren't eloquent;
eloquent words aren't true.
Wise men don't need to prove their point;
men who need to prove their point aren't wise.
Lao Tse

last week's svithe

Puhsycho (now I am)

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Seeing Psycho on the big screen was an astonishing experience. I have seen that movie many many times--the first time at fourteen--and the movie has had an incalculable effect on how I view film, how I view terror, how I view art. I have read innumerable essays and articles and even books about it and yet seeing it last night, big, was completely new.

So many details I had never noticed before! Because although I knew where Hitchcock was hiding in Psycho, I had never been able to actually recognize him before. I had not computed that Marian buys her new car in Bakersfield. I had never realized how shocking the shower scene actually is, when viewed fullsize.

I could talk about Psycho for ages. And then go on and on about Hitchcock for several ages more. But all I really want to talk about right now is that I need to see more movies large. Vertigo, Marnie, North by Northwest, The Trouble with Harry, Shadow of a Doubt..... All of them.

And other nonHitchcock favorites too!

Casablanca!

The Thin Man movies!

Vampyre!

All About Eve!

And classics I've yet to see? Now I must see them huge!

The Maltese Falcon!

King Kong!

Detour!

My life has just been ruined through enrichment.

Thank goodness the tickets are only $6 a pop.

Tonight, on the Big Screen

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This is the end of the day that isn't when you thought it ought to be

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Which is why the beginning of the day you feared would be when it shouldn't is occurring precisely when you through it mightn't but hoped it would and can now set all your terrors to rest in managed care.

Blessed relaxation.

Check my math

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(I hope you can all read this okay....)

Stone Soup Svithe

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Someone in Sunday School made a fascinating suggestion today regarding the feeding of the five thousand. She said perhaps she was a skeptical soul, but she had always suspected that what happened with that miracle was this: people had been hoarding food, hiding it, hoping not to share, but as the baskets were passed around, the spirit of the meeting overcame them.

"This does not," she said,"offend my understanding of a miracle."

Nor mine. And I quite like this explanation.

I rather imagine Thomas Jefferson is feeling a tad hasty about now.



last week's svithe

Explanation of terms

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Since the last picture turned out so terribly, I thought I would try again and use the excuse to define what I mean by a book finished in 2007, which is what I will be chronicling this year.

Let's start with 2007: From the midnight beginning January first to the midnight ending December thirty-first, California time.

Finished: Regardless of what percentage of the book was read during 2007, I have to finish the final word during this calendar year.

Book: Ah, now here's the tricky one. This definition is subject to revision and exception, but here's my definition at present---a) No fewer than 100 pages; b) not a periodical. This definition, as you will notice, is entirely negative. But I assume we can all recognize a book. I'm mostly trying to keep myself from obsessively logging all the magazines and Sesame Street books I read by disqualifying them outright.

Anyway, that's it. This year I'm keeping track. I'm very jealous of the lists others made last year and wish I had some way of comparing my success with theirs--because I really have no idea how many books I read last year.

I wish I did.

Basically, I'm throwing my hat in the ring.

Poor thing....

First Five Books Finished in 2007

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5) Vile Bodies by Evelyn Waugh, finished January 17

At first I thought I would just set this book aside because I hated it so much, but I kept taking it with me place to place and getting through it bit by bit until I came to an appreciation of Waugh's style. I'm still not a huge fan of this particular volume, but for a book filled with emptiness I will at least give him this: he chose the perfect ending. And I have to admit this also--I may have been expecting Wodehouse, and Waugh's humor may not have aged well, but he still had a couple zingers. So good job, Waugh! But I still don't like your book.
one monthish

4) Superman Adventures Vol. 1: Up, Up and Away! by Mark Millar, finished January 16

Somehow the Big O, without any instruction from his parents, can identify "Superguy" and knows, for instance, that he can fly. We're not sure where he picked it up, but some how he's a fan. When we would go to the library, he would request a Superguy book, but neither of our libraries had one. So I put my head together with Master Fob's and he helped decide on this book for Christmas. But the Big O doesn't really like it. I tried reading it to him, but just ended up reading it myself. And so it goes. Note: Shortly after I finished writing this, O found the book and wanted me to read it to him, saying "I like my Superman book"--so pretty much I don't know what I'm talking about.
two or three weeks

3) A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson, finished January 12

I first read Bryson premission when I picked up a copy of Made in America by joining the Book of the Month Club. I. Loved. That. Book. I was not aware that Bryson was primarily known as a travel writer at the time, and the Big Deal release of A Walk in the Woods was my first inclination of his inclination. I was very interested in the book but did not buy it until it came out in paperback--which I did as soon as the paperback was available. Said paperback then sat on my shelf for several years during which I purchased and read the paperbacks Neither Here Nor There, Notes from a Small Island, I'm a Stranger Here Myself, and The Mother Tongue. I also picked up In a Sunburned Country about the same time as AWitW in hardback and enjoyed it very much--it's my favorite of his travel books. Still. I liked A Walk in the Woods a great deal, but if I ever edit a boxset of Great Travel Books, I'll represent Bryson with his Aussie adventure.
about three weeks

2) Understanding Comics by Scott McCloud, finished January 11

Although I have read this book more than once in the past, this was the first time I read my very own copy, courtesy of Lady Steed and venerated Christmas tradition. The book is brilliant. When Scott comes to town signing copies of his new book, I hope to meet him.
about a week and a half

1) Galápagos by Kurt Vonnegut, finished January 10

I think I like Vonnegut best when he's apocalyptic--Cat's Cradle was my first overwhelming look at him and I think Timequake is his best book--but the flavor of disaster offered by Galápagos was right up there.
two days