Six (6) items of business

.

First: I apologize for not writing much lately. I have many unfinished posts sitting around in draft form. Most of them are about two sentences long. I don't know what creeping terror is preventing my mind from functioning properly, but I suppose I had better find out. Someday.


Second: I'm starting to suspect I may be the victim of passive-aggressive henpecking. (Exhibit A) (Exhibit B)


Third: According to one of my students, George Washington is a historical figure who is important to her because he's on the one-dollar bill and was president like in the Fifties or something.


Fourth: I'm tired. I'm very, very tired.


Fifth: I almost have my svithes-only blog running. In Firefox I have a huge gap between the top of the page and the start of the svithe. In Explorer, the blog text gets on top of the blog title. I'm not html savvy enough to make different browsers see the thing in different ways, but if you have a moment, would you mind taking a look and telling me what your browser is and how the blog looks in it?


Sixth: In a blatant ripoff of Rambli Method Friend Generation, I tapped my expert sources and am now able to share the following gossip: The Olsen twins have adopted the lost grandson of Marilyn Monroe in response to the news that Brad and Angie have adopted all the children of six western Malaysian villages stricken with bird flu; Raven Symone meanwhile is no longer pregnant, being the first known celebrity to use an expensive new surgery that allows the mother to enjoy conception, then pass the fetus on to a surrogate; Lindsay Lohan was arresting for getting Bubbles the Chimp drunk; Paris Hilton stole Phat Girlz' star Mo'Nique's chihuahua's grill; and, finally, Eva Longoria has admitted that she is the true author of both A Million Little Pieces and the Gospel of Judas--James Frey and Judas are said to have nothing left to live for except their expected inclusion on next season's The Surreal Life. Which is why we don't have cable.