An acquaintance of mine recently created a baby-new meme from a Popular Mechanics article. I thought I would coöpt it for myself here.
But real men don't tag. So only do this yourself if you think you're man enough. Or if you have something to prove.
So. A real man should be able to:
- 1. Patch a radiator hose
- Um. Is it like fixing a bike tube?
2. Protect your computer
- From ninjas? I'm there.
3. Rescue a boater who has capsized
- Depends. Are there sharks? What about walruses?
4. Frame a wall
- Depends. Embezzlement, yes. But I draw the line at capital crimes.
5. Retouch digital photos
- Within reason, yes. Note the example above.
6. Back up a trailer
- Now that I finally have a DVD-R drive, yes.
7. Build a campfire
- Yes. Of course. I totally got my pyro merit badge. I can also build a house fire if you need any help.
8. Fix a dead outlet
- Who do you think I am, Ned? Seriously though, my father-in-law has shown me how to do this like a zillion times and I still can't. Mostly, I think, because I am certain I will die.
9. Navigate with a map and compass
- That's cute.
10. Use a torque wrench
- Is that those strappy things?
11. Sharpen a knife
- Only on the jawbone of an ass.
12. Perform CPR
- With or without showgirls?
I've never actually had to, but I'm sure whoever gets to be my guinea pig will die. So to answer the question, I need to know if the CPRee needs to survive for it to count.
13. Fillet a fish
- Theoretically. Ask when the last time I went fishing was.
14. Maneuver a car out of a skid
- Done it many times. Take that!
15. Get a car unstuck
- From what? Time? Cause Billy takes care of that for me.
16. Back up data
- Yes. Should do it more frequently though....
17. Paint a room
- Alas, yes.
18. Mix concrete
- Yes. But don't tell Lady Steed.
19. Clean a bolt-action rifle
- Um. No thank you. Guns make me nervous. Sort of like electricity.
20. Change oil and filter
- Yes! In fact, it's been ages since we paid for an oil change--not since moving here at least.
Although.... Nevermind. Just ask my dad. He'll tell you. I don't want to go into it.
21. Hook up an HDTV
- I wish I had opportunity to try....
22. Bleed brakes
- What. Mechanics don't believe in germ theory?
23. Paddle a canoe
- I actually used to be awesome at this. But I haven't tried in, ah, fifteen years?
24. Fix a bike flat
- Used to do it all the time.
25. Extend your wireless network
- "Extend"? Let's start with "start".
Phew. It's a good thing we have the Big O around. At the very least, he'll be able to mow the lawn. And knock our old oil filters out of the ballpark with his totally awesome batting skills.